Eis was up every three and a half to four hours last night. It wasn't great, but what made it worse was that after the first awakening, I couldn't go back to sleep, then during a later sleep stint, I slept wrong and got a crick in my neck and tweaked my back.
Even though Tyler is always busy during his daytime, at 0230 (my time) I had a very strong feeling that I should check my email. I did and Tyler had written me an apology. It was fairly good. I was not angry after reading it, which is a good sign, but I had mixed feelings about a few things he said...
He was totally right in saying that girls take longer to get over stuff, which is true. It will take me a bit, but I think after writing out my thoughts, I should be nearing the end. He said he was just "talking" to her, but if that's the case, then he used a poor choice of words with many of his comments. I can almost guarantee that she assumed him to be flirting, as I imagine any third party would agree. I would have read it differently had he said, "I saw your post about the wedding and wondered how you were doing," as that comes off as friendly. Saying, "For some reason, you came across my mind," then having her try to get him to tell her why he has been thinking of her, has a different vibe. Especially, when he finally answers and talks about 12 month back to back deployments giving him time to think about the past -- wha?! That would have been another great time to say, "I saw your post about the wedding," as that leans toward being appropriate.
Why is it unfortunate to remember a lot about someone unless you're mildly pining? Then she tries to get him to say more by asking, again, why he's thinking of her and drops something about being adorable. But instead of a, "Haha," or something less guilty, he agrees and says that must be why he STILL thinks about her. Wha?! "Still" implies, frequency. And the final nail in my humiliation coffin is her saying she's glad she can be an "escape" for him and talking about hugging or squeezing him for a long time last time they saw each other (hopefully ten years ago) and he doesn't respond. Not responding lets her know she's right. If he wanted her to know he was just "talking," then that would have also been a fabulous spot to say something like, "Well, life is pretty serious, yes. I haven't yet met my beautiful daughter. Though, to be honest, my wife is my true escape," and if he really wanted to send home the message, he would have added an adjective or two to describe me... like: beautiful, amazing, perfect, etc.
So, if he genuinely believes he was just "talking," then there's a strong chance that man could get himself into some hot water one day. If he knows that he flirted, but is trying to cover his tracks, then it would have meant more if he had come completely clean and said he was flirting. I know if he stepped back and read it, then he would see that it doesn't come off as "talking." I wouldn't be any more hurt if he said he was flirting because I (and probably Ms. Homely Magoo) assumed he was, anyway.
Anyway, back to my strong feeling to check my email because I figured I'd have one from him... I have noticed that often I get strong feelings of something that end up being true/correct and more than that, I've had dreams, then later in life been doing something and realised I'd dreamed about it previously. When I say I dreamed about something, I don't mean within weeks or so of an event, but years.
Example: Long before I was on my dance team in high school, I dreamed about being in this strange gym and practicing a routine in these bright pink tops and doing certain dance moves. Then, one summer my dance team went to UTSA for a dance camp and we were practicing a routine in this area behind the bleachers and doing some moves and it was like "BAM!" It was total deja vu (but from the dream). There have been many more instances such as that and it's always such a weird feeling.
Moving on to the rest of the day... Eis woke up at 1030 and ate and changed clothes and it somehow took an hour before I was heading out the door to go to Macy's and HEB. I was supposed to buy a cookie press at Macy's but they didn't have it. Then I was in the worst lunchtime traffic, trying to get to HEB and when I got there, it was raining! I had to unbuckle Eis and get her out of the car all while getting rained on -- jeesh!
I didn't have the stroller, so I had to use the Ergo. Even though she had been napping in the car, she wanted to look at stuff, so I put her in, facing out so she could see better. Everyone always seems to walk over to us to comment how cute Eisley is. I don't dare put that on Facebook because everyone thinks their child is the cutest and always comment on how adorable or cute other peoples' babies are, but it's not true. Some babies are ugly. Most are nondescript. Eisley is truly attractive due to her giant blue eyes and smile. I know it sounds narcissistic, which is why I generally don't say anything.
When I got home, Dad was here, so I had him get Eis and change her diaper while I unloaded the groceries and started dinner. I was making a pot roast in the slow-cooker, so I had to get started. Then I nursed Eis and put her down for a nap. While she slept, I made some candy-ish thing called "Fossil nuggets," which is a recipe my mom found that I'd written as a child. I remember being told the recipe at Vacation Bible School in Jacksonville, TX and then making them in my grandma's kitchen. Obviously, Jamie had helped me write the recipe because half of the handwriting was hers. The fossil nuggets were not as good as I remembered. I think they could be awesome if tweaked... less honey and add some spices or chocolate or dip them in chocolate, since all you can really taste is the peanut butter with a honey aftertaste.
Eis didn't nap well all day and is crying, as I type. She is so exhausted, but won't sleep! I don't get it.
Tonight, we all tried eggnog, since we all remembered not liking it. It wasn't very good. I think I don't like it because I know it's made with eggs... eggs that obviously are not cooked, which grosses me out. It's just so thick... and eggy. Ugh.
Tomorrow I will go to Zumba, then shower, then go to rehab -- I must remember my new "orders" for the therapist -- and then Dad and I will go to Heights to finish moving and meet with a realtor.
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