I didn't do much of anything today.
I texted with Ty in my sleep at around 0930, then woke up for reals at 1100. I ate some cereal, then as I sat at the table, I asked my dad what the answer to a crossword clue was... since it was sitting in front of me and I assumed he'd already finished it.
To my surprise, he said he didn't do the LA Times crossword, which is in the Sunday paper. He got interested and began to work. I helped on occasion, as I chatted with Ty, and in about 2-3 hours we had finished it. It is a much larger crossword than the daily one in the AAS. It was quite difficult and when there's a "theme," it becomes stupid at times.
Then I laid down for 20 minutes to rest my back and got ready to go to the grocery store with Mom. It took a whole hour at HEB! It didn't feel that long, but it was. That seems like forever. Plus, with the temps in the 100s, it's just misery walking to and from the car. Not to mention, people stare at me like I have a third leg and arm. I need a shirt or dress that says, "I'm 28 and my husband is in Afghanistan." However, because of where we are, people just assume I'm a teenage slut. When they look at me I want to say, "You know why my diamond is bigger than yours? Because my husband is on his third deployment. Stop judging me!"
I guess people don't look for diamonds on pregnant, young (looking) girls who are with their mother. Though they do not need to stare and make things up in their head. That's just mean and makes me feel bad. I was a good girl -- I waited until after college, once I had a career, and I had a husband! At least I know what it feels like to be looked at by strangers like I'm one of those slutty teens. :(
We came home and I laid down... again. I had to lay on an ice pack, as I do most of the time now in an attempt to keep the spasms at bay.
After dinner we watched some tv, then I showered.
In 44 hours, I'll be checking in at the hospital and in 55 hours, I'll be induced. However, that's if I don't have the baby on my own before then.
I do plan on asking Dr. A if it's possible that my due date is miscalculated. I did some checking, thinking, and minor research and I'm fairly confident that I'm right.
October 15: Ty takes me to pain clinic. I know I'm not preggo cause I started my P that morning or the day before.
November 16: But preggo tests -- Ty in CO
November 17: Take preggo tests -- positive
November 18/19: Take pic of preggo tests/ see Dr. Hall to confirm
November 20: Cancel laser hair removal on date of appt.
December 28: First ultrasound -- tell me I'm 9 weeks, not 11. (Taking 10-12 days "off")
The EPT: 5 days before missed period
1st Response: 6 days before missed period
... which means, at most, my period would have "started" on 23 November.
At the first ultrasound, they told me my "turnover" was every Friday. Later in the pregnancy, they told me my "turnover" was a Wednesday. Possibly, taking off more time?
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Day 57: Feels Like 43 Weeks
I swear that I will be 43 weeks this week. I was originally 11, but when they did the first scan of the baby, she was little, so they changed me to 9 weeks. I lost two whole weeks. But she's still small... so it doesn't make sense. You can't just make up my due date because my baby isn't the exact average size at a specific moment.
I made Ty a box today with practical things, of which I enjoyed buying. Mom and I took it to the post office this morning, then stopped by the new PetCo to get Bub more food, since he's running low and I don't want them to have to do that right after I have the baby. The she took me to my Starbucks. I love it there. Frapps make me happy in this weather and stage of pregnancy.
I laid down, then got in the pool for a few hours once I got home. I ate leftovers for dinner, but they were good regardless. Mom and Dad went to Maggiano's for dinner and brought me home some tiramisu. Yum!
I watched The Switch with Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston that I got from Netflix today. I'll get to turn it in Monday.
Mom really likes the crochet baby hats from etsy.com... maybe she'll buy one for Eisley :)
I feel gross and must go... it's officially really difficult to type because there's no comfortable way to do it.
Boooo.
I made Ty a box today with practical things, of which I enjoyed buying. Mom and I took it to the post office this morning, then stopped by the new PetCo to get Bub more food, since he's running low and I don't want them to have to do that right after I have the baby. The she took me to my Starbucks. I love it there. Frapps make me happy in this weather and stage of pregnancy.
I laid down, then got in the pool for a few hours once I got home. I ate leftovers for dinner, but they were good regardless. Mom and Dad went to Maggiano's for dinner and brought me home some tiramisu. Yum!
I watched The Switch with Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston that I got from Netflix today. I'll get to turn it in Monday.
Mom really likes the crochet baby hats from etsy.com... maybe she'll buy one for Eisley :)
I feel gross and must go... it's officially really difficult to type because there's no comfortable way to do it.
Boooo.
Day 56: Shopping for Ty
This has to be short due to the torture I am enduring right now.
Went shopping for practical things for Ty today. Many items are to keep to make EML travel feel less gross and more refreshing.
I went to Mimi's for dinner. It was yum.
I bought 5 things for $139 to wear when teaching Zumba. The prices were so much more reasonable than normal. I also found one or two more classes I want to take to get more certs. I don't know if September is too soon. I'll sign up once I know that I'm not having a CS... if I do get one, then I'll have to wait. :(
91 hours til I go to the hospital...or I could have the baby on my own sooner. Hahahaha.... not likely.
OMG I hurt so bad. This is the level of pain that usually warrants more morphine into my IV...
Went shopping for practical things for Ty today. Many items are to keep to make EML travel feel less gross and more refreshing.
I went to Mimi's for dinner. It was yum.
I bought 5 things for $139 to wear when teaching Zumba. The prices were so much more reasonable than normal. I also found one or two more classes I want to take to get more certs. I don't know if September is too soon. I'll sign up once I know that I'm not having a CS... if I do get one, then I'll have to wait. :(
91 hours til I go to the hospital...or I could have the baby on my own sooner. Hahahaha.... not likely.
OMG I hurt so bad. This is the level of pain that usually warrants more morphine into my IV...
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Day 55: Massage
Puck woke up at 0500 for some unknown reason. I don't know what was wrong with him. I eventually turned over and put my hand on him and he seemed to be twitching. He couldn't or wouldn't sleep. I tried having him lay different ways, I took him out to potty, I turned on the light and checked him out the best I could, but I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I eventually took his food into the kitchen and gave him a bit. I returned to bed, assuming he'd come in, too. (By now it's 0745)
He never did and I fell back asleep. Eventually, I heard one of my parents in the kitchen and they took him out and gave him more food. I don't know what he did or where he was while I slept until 1045, but apparently he was fine.
After breakfast, I came back into my room to lay down with Puck cause my back was so achey. Mom went to go work out and Dad came back to chat. I eventually got up and went to put my Netflix movie in the mailbox, but the mail had already come. I was surprised and happy to see that I'd received Tyler's letter!
I came back to my room and read his words. It's so nice to receive an actual letter from him -- I love seeing his handwriting and feeling the effort put in to writing so much. It really makes me feel special. I laughed and enjoyed reading what he had to write. It was one of my best birthday presents.
I then called 26 Doors and scheduled a massage for 1500 this afternoon. While I waited, I got online and ordered some stickers for Eisley's monthly pics, an outdoor dog bed for Puck that'll hopefully help keep him cool, and showed my dad adorable baby hats.
Mom came home and I got ready to head out. My massage was awesome. The girl used just the right amount of pressure and it was so relaxing. She's by far my favorite for pregnancy massages. I'll have to go back to her for a regular Swedish eventually to see if she's worth driving out there to see.
Once home, I watched last night's SYTYCD with my dad. It was great! I helped with dinner, too. After dinner, mom asked me my opinion on 5 rugs for her classroom. I started getting pains in my back, so I quickly grabbed an ice pack and made my way to the couch before all Hell broke loose.
We watched some shows and about two hours ago, I started getting awesomely stabbing pains in my belly/vag. It's terrible to have to say, "I am having stabbing pains in my vagina," so I didn't. I just practiced my breathing, so I wouldn't alarm my folks. I'm sure it's nothing and it is not consistent, so it's not contractions. I did do some research though and a number of people seem to think it's my cervix ripening. Gross. What a terrible word... especially when "ripening" sounds like something gradual and smooth or almost soothing. I think it should be called "cervix shredding" because that's what it feels like. It feels like there's a tiny fencer in my hooha who is practicing his moves, but his foil or sabre is a jagged blade and his parry and thrust are just atrocious.
I was almost excited to stop watching tv and head back here, so I could be in pain without someone worrying... someone that's not me, that is.
Dad said goodnight, then told me if I have to have the baby, to wait until after 0900. I said I'd do my best, but if I couldn't, then I'd leave a note.
He never did and I fell back asleep. Eventually, I heard one of my parents in the kitchen and they took him out and gave him more food. I don't know what he did or where he was while I slept until 1045, but apparently he was fine.
After breakfast, I came back into my room to lay down with Puck cause my back was so achey. Mom went to go work out and Dad came back to chat. I eventually got up and went to put my Netflix movie in the mailbox, but the mail had already come. I was surprised and happy to see that I'd received Tyler's letter!
I came back to my room and read his words. It's so nice to receive an actual letter from him -- I love seeing his handwriting and feeling the effort put in to writing so much. It really makes me feel special. I laughed and enjoyed reading what he had to write. It was one of my best birthday presents.
I then called 26 Doors and scheduled a massage for 1500 this afternoon. While I waited, I got online and ordered some stickers for Eisley's monthly pics, an outdoor dog bed for Puck that'll hopefully help keep him cool, and showed my dad adorable baby hats.
Mom came home and I got ready to head out. My massage was awesome. The girl used just the right amount of pressure and it was so relaxing. She's by far my favorite for pregnancy massages. I'll have to go back to her for a regular Swedish eventually to see if she's worth driving out there to see.
Once home, I watched last night's SYTYCD with my dad. It was great! I helped with dinner, too. After dinner, mom asked me my opinion on 5 rugs for her classroom. I started getting pains in my back, so I quickly grabbed an ice pack and made my way to the couch before all Hell broke loose.
We watched some shows and about two hours ago, I started getting awesomely stabbing pains in my belly/vag. It's terrible to have to say, "I am having stabbing pains in my vagina," so I didn't. I just practiced my breathing, so I wouldn't alarm my folks. I'm sure it's nothing and it is not consistent, so it's not contractions. I did do some research though and a number of people seem to think it's my cervix ripening. Gross. What a terrible word... especially when "ripening" sounds like something gradual and smooth or almost soothing. I think it should be called "cervix shredding" because that's what it feels like. It feels like there's a tiny fencer in my hooha who is practicing his moves, but his foil or sabre is a jagged blade and his parry and thrust are just atrocious.
I was almost excited to stop watching tv and head back here, so I could be in pain without someone worrying... someone that's not me, that is.
Dad said goodnight, then told me if I have to have the baby, to wait until after 0900. I said I'd do my best, but if I couldn't, then I'd leave a note.
Day 54: Booooring
I laid in bed most of today. My folks went to my mom's school to work on her room and I stayed here and laid on an ice pack to keep my back in check.
I've really only been up a handful of times, but the pain is relentless.
So, I've officially passed my due date without incident or baby... but that's ok cause Tyler had a mission and was stuck in Kabul until the morning. I didn't want to go into labor when he was on mission, anyway!
I've really only been up a handful of times, but the pain is relentless.
So, I've officially passed my due date without incident or baby... but that's ok cause Tyler had a mission and was stuck in Kabul until the morning. I didn't want to go into labor when he was on mission, anyway!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Day 53: Back Again
Well, today brought another crippling back spasm. It was this afternoon before dinner.
I had been sitting at the kitchen table since this morning and working on finishing the posters, which I did. Then I decided to come to my room to lay down, as my back was a bit achey (like it always is). I laid in bed and read a magazine for around an hour, if not longer.
I decided to get up and go into the kitchen, since I was tired of laying down. I got up and felt the twinge that I often get, but instead of subsiding a bit, like it'll usually do, it amplified. I hobbled into the kitchen to see if my back support was in there and to get a cold pack. As soon as I made it to the kitchen, I knew I had to go lay down because it was getting worse and fast.
Mom was getting dinner ready, so I asked her if she would get the ice pack for me. I came into my room and looked in all my drawers, but couldn't find it anywhere. By this point (two minutes after I originally stood up), I couldn't breathe or stand due to the pain. I flung myself as best as I could onto the bed and tried to find a position that I could tolerate. My mom put the ice pack on my back, tucked into my shorts, then proceeded to look around for the support.
I couldn't take the pain any longer. My right hand clenched my bean pillow, while my left hand held tightly onto my hair. My right leg moved back and forth while tapping the bed. Breathing made it hurt worse. I couldn't see straight from the pain. My dad came in and pushed the ice pack into my lower back and massaged my back spasms until the pain subsided. It only took 30 minutes.
I ate dinner with a cold pack inside my support, then laid on the couch with cold packs.
Unfortunately, I developed another lovely spasm while typing this and was bedridden for the past hour and a half. My dad's asleep, so I only had the ice pack and no massage, but luckily, it didn't reach the writhing and crying phase. However, I do have an awesome headache now.
I got to chat with Ty for a bit today. I love hearing from him. He seemed to be tired, but doing well overall. We talked about his plans for when I go into labor (or if I'm induced). Though, if I'm induced, I'll be admitted to the hospital Tuesday night, but won't be given the meds to start contractions until Wednesday, which is why Ty would eventually need to be around.
I miss him so bad and I wish he were here. I need his hugs, attention, kisses, foot rubs, back rubs, face smashes, chest to lay on, and his voice.
I had been sitting at the kitchen table since this morning and working on finishing the posters, which I did. Then I decided to come to my room to lay down, as my back was a bit achey (like it always is). I laid in bed and read a magazine for around an hour, if not longer.
I decided to get up and go into the kitchen, since I was tired of laying down. I got up and felt the twinge that I often get, but instead of subsiding a bit, like it'll usually do, it amplified. I hobbled into the kitchen to see if my back support was in there and to get a cold pack. As soon as I made it to the kitchen, I knew I had to go lay down because it was getting worse and fast.
Mom was getting dinner ready, so I asked her if she would get the ice pack for me. I came into my room and looked in all my drawers, but couldn't find it anywhere. By this point (two minutes after I originally stood up), I couldn't breathe or stand due to the pain. I flung myself as best as I could onto the bed and tried to find a position that I could tolerate. My mom put the ice pack on my back, tucked into my shorts, then proceeded to look around for the support.
I couldn't take the pain any longer. My right hand clenched my bean pillow, while my left hand held tightly onto my hair. My right leg moved back and forth while tapping the bed. Breathing made it hurt worse. I couldn't see straight from the pain. My dad came in and pushed the ice pack into my lower back and massaged my back spasms until the pain subsided. It only took 30 minutes.
I ate dinner with a cold pack inside my support, then laid on the couch with cold packs.
Unfortunately, I developed another lovely spasm while typing this and was bedridden for the past hour and a half. My dad's asleep, so I only had the ice pack and no massage, but luckily, it didn't reach the writhing and crying phase. However, I do have an awesome headache now.
I got to chat with Ty for a bit today. I love hearing from him. He seemed to be tired, but doing well overall. We talked about his plans for when I go into labor (or if I'm induced). Though, if I'm induced, I'll be admitted to the hospital Tuesday night, but won't be given the meds to start contractions until Wednesday, which is why Ty would eventually need to be around.
I miss him so bad and I wish he were here. I need his hugs, attention, kisses, foot rubs, back rubs, face smashes, chest to lay on, and his voice.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Day 52: Doctors
I'm 40 weeks on Wednesday. Dr. A -- who left for vacation and didn't write any notes in my file -- won't be back until Friday, so I have seen Dr. K the past two weeks. So, despite her telling me she didn't want me to go past my due date, which she didn't write it down or tell anyone, I will be going back to the doctor next Monday. Next Monday, when I'll be 2 days from 41 weeks, they'll decide if they want to induce.
Now, this is all only if I don't go into labor anytime before then. I can go into labor any day... it's just a matter of waiting... or so I've been told for the past five visits. I'm still 1cm, but I am 70% effaced, which just leaves 30% and 9cm to go.
After we saw the OBs, we stopped by the mall because I am out of mascara. Before we went in, we called Dr. E for an appointment to get a referral for the a spine doctor. We figured it'd be easier to start that process now, as opposed to waiting until after I'd had the baby and trying to go. She told me I was having a LOT of muscle spasms in my lower back (which must be why it feels like my bones hurt) and that she'd put in the referral. She also said that a CS would probably be worse for my back, since they'd have to cut through the stomach muscles, which are integral for supporting your back, so that would essentially weaken my back further and for longer.
We came home and I laid down in bed, while mom headed out to go to Macy's and buy me a few more bras. Oddly, though I had purchased a large previously, the large bras that I just ripped the tags off of feel smaller and tighter and thus, mildly uncomfortable. Oops :(
I watched my Girl Who Kicked in A Hornet's Nest movie until Dad got home around 1300 or so. He talked to me about what the doctors said and then went to go work on the puzzle. After my movie finished -- about 1500 -- I decided to go out to the pool. Dad came out about 15 minutes later. We chatted until 1700 when we went in and Mom came home. I showered and washed my hair, while they unloaded groceries and started dinner.
I tried to use Netflix through the Wii, but after reconfiguring the internet, we couldn't figure out how to get volume to it... so, instead of having him try to fix it, I said I'd rather just take it to my room. The Wii looks like crap on their tv, regardless. I can't stand the small picture and terrible quality resolution -- I don't understand why it looks so bad... could be because their tv is old. Mine is not, so I would rather have it in my room.
After dinner we watched some tv, then we watched The Social Network. It was pretty good. My back started hurting pretty soon after I laid down on the couch and eventually I had to sit up because my hip was aching so bad.
I did get to chat with Ty for a very little bit today. He said his mission went well. He has another one "today." He was sleepy and he had to wake up early, so I let him go. My mom wanted me to make sure he knew that he didn't need to respond to her emails and that she just wanted to share how things are going here, but he apparently insists upon responding. Hopefully, it will be a short response because she is concerned about using up his time when he has other things to do.
I've realized one of the things I dislike most about Ty being gone is having to suss out R&R and Homecoming. I know last year he promised me that the next Homecoming would be parent-free and just us, but I know that won't happen. It won't happen because eventually he'll tell his folks that he just wants to be with me and the baby during EML and to make it up, they'll be here for Homecoming. It's not his fault.
I know it's selfish, but I don't want to share him with anyone. Hell, I don't even want to share him with the baby!
However, I do know when we only get 14 days and each one is precious in and of itself, then I have to allot a chunk of days to Ty meeting and spending time with his new daughter, that we don't have time to entertain his dad. It would be one thing if he came and rented a car, entertained himself, and were here to hang out when we could, but he wants Ty's full attention. It's sweet, but I'm selfish.
I spend every waking and sleeping moment thinking about Ty, worrying about Ty, crying over Ty, writing this for Ty, being in the FRG and doing all its crap for Ty, and carrying my phone everywhere like it's a third hand to be ready at any moment when Ty can chat. I don't understand how they can't talk to him daily while he's stateside, then cut all communication as soon as he deploys, but want to show up for EML and Homecoming. I find it unfair (to me - selfish), but I think it hurts Ty that they don't contact him. They're not too busy to send out an email every week or respond to his. They don't ask me about him.
My parents ask every day if I've talked to Tyler and what he says, how he's doing, and if he needs anything from me or them. My mom wants to write the newspaper about how crappy the internet is over there and try to rectify any injustice she feels he's having to "suffer."
I've always said I don't understand his relationship with his folks and I consider it very different to mine with my parents. I don't even know if I have the full picture -- Tyler doesn't like to discuss it with me... maybe because it makes him sad? I don't know.
I see my relationship with my parents as a friendship and I am brutally honest with these friends, as they are with me. We know what we say may hurt, but it's better that everyone know than be in the dark or be wasting time doing something the other doesn't want done. I feel like his family only discusses the more positive things and they're very sensitive to hurting one another, so they don't talk about things. Or if one does have the courage to say anything, everyone ends up incredibly hurt and disappointed for a long time. (Though I know I have a limited view)
Part of me thinks that it's just me they don't approve of or care for for some reason. I don't know why. I think I'm a great influence for Tyler, as he is for me; I am educated; I have the ability to have a great career in a variety of fields; I'm creative; I'm smart; I am incredibly capable of doing most things; I'm great with money; and I love Ty more than anyone could ever in their whole life combined. But if I look at behavior patterns over Ty's deployments, I don't know what to think.
His first tour, they contact him and send him things, but he has to find someone (an ex-girlfriend) to pick him up for the Homecoming. The next year, we get married without them present and hurt their feelings -- they contact him a bit less, they don't send a card for my birthday, they want to be here for EML, but come for Homecoming and stay with us at the house, instead. This year, they haven't contacted at all, minus my asking them directly to do so, they did get me a bday present, and want to be here for EML and Homecoming (I assume).
Part of me says that they assume I've got it "under control," but I'm not his parents. He needs support from everyone, not just his wife. I feel sad that I can't help and I feel sad that he doesn't talk to me about it. All I can do is guess or assume things because I am not privy to what he thinks or says. It's hard cause if I think something, he's lucky if he can shut me up. I think so much and I know he does, too, but he doesn't share his thoughts (like men are known to not do).
I don't think he should get upset with me with I try to think, figure out, or understand things between him and his parents because it effects me, too. It makes me so sad to think how he feels when they don't contact him. I get frustrated trying to figure out why. I try to keep my mouth shut because it's not my place, BUT I want to be there for Ty and support him, which I can't fully do if I'm blindfolded. I'm very protective of Tyler, just as he is for me, and want him to be happy, like he wants for me.
I want to help, but I get "in trouble" if I broach the subject. He hates it when I "help" cause he thinks I think he's too stupid to do it alone, but I help because I want to be there for him and I was taught that it's rude not to help. I plan on teaching our daughter that it's rude not to offer help and to always be there for those you care about and that it has nothing to do with their abilities. I LOVE it when Tyler helps me cause it shows me he's looking out for me, paying attention to me, and that he cares about me.
Now, this is all only if I don't go into labor anytime before then. I can go into labor any day... it's just a matter of waiting... or so I've been told for the past five visits. I'm still 1cm, but I am 70% effaced, which just leaves 30% and 9cm to go.
After we saw the OBs, we stopped by the mall because I am out of mascara. Before we went in, we called Dr. E for an appointment to get a referral for the a spine doctor. We figured it'd be easier to start that process now, as opposed to waiting until after I'd had the baby and trying to go. She told me I was having a LOT of muscle spasms in my lower back (which must be why it feels like my bones hurt) and that she'd put in the referral. She also said that a CS would probably be worse for my back, since they'd have to cut through the stomach muscles, which are integral for supporting your back, so that would essentially weaken my back further and for longer.
We came home and I laid down in bed, while mom headed out to go to Macy's and buy me a few more bras. Oddly, though I had purchased a large previously, the large bras that I just ripped the tags off of feel smaller and tighter and thus, mildly uncomfortable. Oops :(
I watched my Girl Who Kicked in A Hornet's Nest movie until Dad got home around 1300 or so. He talked to me about what the doctors said and then went to go work on the puzzle. After my movie finished -- about 1500 -- I decided to go out to the pool. Dad came out about 15 minutes later. We chatted until 1700 when we went in and Mom came home. I showered and washed my hair, while they unloaded groceries and started dinner.
I tried to use Netflix through the Wii, but after reconfiguring the internet, we couldn't figure out how to get volume to it... so, instead of having him try to fix it, I said I'd rather just take it to my room. The Wii looks like crap on their tv, regardless. I can't stand the small picture and terrible quality resolution -- I don't understand why it looks so bad... could be because their tv is old. Mine is not, so I would rather have it in my room.
After dinner we watched some tv, then we watched The Social Network. It was pretty good. My back started hurting pretty soon after I laid down on the couch and eventually I had to sit up because my hip was aching so bad.
I did get to chat with Ty for a very little bit today. He said his mission went well. He has another one "today." He was sleepy and he had to wake up early, so I let him go. My mom wanted me to make sure he knew that he didn't need to respond to her emails and that she just wanted to share how things are going here, but he apparently insists upon responding. Hopefully, it will be a short response because she is concerned about using up his time when he has other things to do.
I've realized one of the things I dislike most about Ty being gone is having to suss out R&R and Homecoming. I know last year he promised me that the next Homecoming would be parent-free and just us, but I know that won't happen. It won't happen because eventually he'll tell his folks that he just wants to be with me and the baby during EML and to make it up, they'll be here for Homecoming. It's not his fault.
I know it's selfish, but I don't want to share him with anyone. Hell, I don't even want to share him with the baby!
However, I do know when we only get 14 days and each one is precious in and of itself, then I have to allot a chunk of days to Ty meeting and spending time with his new daughter, that we don't have time to entertain his dad. It would be one thing if he came and rented a car, entertained himself, and were here to hang out when we could, but he wants Ty's full attention. It's sweet, but I'm selfish.
I spend every waking and sleeping moment thinking about Ty, worrying about Ty, crying over Ty, writing this for Ty, being in the FRG and doing all its crap for Ty, and carrying my phone everywhere like it's a third hand to be ready at any moment when Ty can chat. I don't understand how they can't talk to him daily while he's stateside, then cut all communication as soon as he deploys, but want to show up for EML and Homecoming. I find it unfair (to me - selfish), but I think it hurts Ty that they don't contact him. They're not too busy to send out an email every week or respond to his. They don't ask me about him.
My parents ask every day if I've talked to Tyler and what he says, how he's doing, and if he needs anything from me or them. My mom wants to write the newspaper about how crappy the internet is over there and try to rectify any injustice she feels he's having to "suffer."
I've always said I don't understand his relationship with his folks and I consider it very different to mine with my parents. I don't even know if I have the full picture -- Tyler doesn't like to discuss it with me... maybe because it makes him sad? I don't know.
I see my relationship with my parents as a friendship and I am brutally honest with these friends, as they are with me. We know what we say may hurt, but it's better that everyone know than be in the dark or be wasting time doing something the other doesn't want done. I feel like his family only discusses the more positive things and they're very sensitive to hurting one another, so they don't talk about things. Or if one does have the courage to say anything, everyone ends up incredibly hurt and disappointed for a long time. (Though I know I have a limited view)
Part of me thinks that it's just me they don't approve of or care for for some reason. I don't know why. I think I'm a great influence for Tyler, as he is for me; I am educated; I have the ability to have a great career in a variety of fields; I'm creative; I'm smart; I am incredibly capable of doing most things; I'm great with money; and I love Ty more than anyone could ever in their whole life combined. But if I look at behavior patterns over Ty's deployments, I don't know what to think.
His first tour, they contact him and send him things, but he has to find someone (an ex-girlfriend) to pick him up for the Homecoming. The next year, we get married without them present and hurt their feelings -- they contact him a bit less, they don't send a card for my birthday, they want to be here for EML, but come for Homecoming and stay with us at the house, instead. This year, they haven't contacted at all, minus my asking them directly to do so, they did get me a bday present, and want to be here for EML and Homecoming (I assume).
Part of me says that they assume I've got it "under control," but I'm not his parents. He needs support from everyone, not just his wife. I feel sad that I can't help and I feel sad that he doesn't talk to me about it. All I can do is guess or assume things because I am not privy to what he thinks or says. It's hard cause if I think something, he's lucky if he can shut me up. I think so much and I know he does, too, but he doesn't share his thoughts (like men are known to not do).
I don't think he should get upset with me with I try to think, figure out, or understand things between him and his parents because it effects me, too. It makes me so sad to think how he feels when they don't contact him. I get frustrated trying to figure out why. I try to keep my mouth shut because it's not my place, BUT I want to be there for Ty and support him, which I can't fully do if I'm blindfolded. I'm very protective of Tyler, just as he is for me, and want him to be happy, like he wants for me.
I want to help, but I get "in trouble" if I broach the subject. He hates it when I "help" cause he thinks I think he's too stupid to do it alone, but I help because I want to be there for him and I was taught that it's rude not to help. I plan on teaching our daughter that it's rude not to offer help and to always be there for those you care about and that it has nothing to do with their abilities. I LOVE it when Tyler helps me cause it shows me he's looking out for me, paying attention to me, and that he cares about me.
Day 51: Bed
There's no possible way to not be in agonizing pain, so I stayed in best most of the day and tried to move as little as possible.
I did get to chat with and FaceTime with Tyler, which was nice. He's so handsome. It's a shame I look so disgusting these days.
I have a doctor's appointment in the morning... I'm interested to see what she'll say. My "due date" is Wednesday. I know Dr. A said she didn't want me going past it, but who knows what Dr. K will say. I just can't imagine that I'm supposed to be in so much pain that I can't move and break down sobbing, but hey, they're the doctors, right?!
I did get to chat with and FaceTime with Tyler, which was nice. He's so handsome. It's a shame I look so disgusting these days.
I have a doctor's appointment in the morning... I'm interested to see what she'll say. My "due date" is Wednesday. I know Dr. A said she didn't want me going past it, but who knows what Dr. K will say. I just can't imagine that I'm supposed to be in so much pain that I can't move and break down sobbing, but hey, they're the doctors, right?!
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Day 50: Good News/Bad News
I have to keep this short due to today's title.
Same basic morning. Woke up. Ate Cheerios. Sat around. Got to chat with Tyler earlier than usual because his day had started earlier than usual. Spent quite a while "chatting."
I use quotes because it's not so much a conversation when it's a statement back and forth every few minutes due to slow internet. I eventually let him go to sleep, as he'd had a long day.
I checked my Netflix and decided to watch something on my tv on Netflix. Unfortunately, since we got a new AirPort, the Xbox Live no longer works. I don't have the energy to figure out how we fixed it before, especially if having the Pelican hooked up and not changing the IP address is what flubbed up the net in the first place. I thought of that today... if the net slowed due to the Pelican, but my dad thought it was the AirPort and bought a new one to fix the problem... there's no way I could risk screwing it up again. It'd be more worth it to buy the ACTUAL Xbox Live wifi thingy.
Well, I started watching a movie on my laptop because I couldn't use the Xbox. However, my back started hurting, but the pain didn't subside after two minutes. It just stayed at "high alert" levels, so I forced myself to get up, which was difficult because of the laptop. I went to pee, but it only made my back hurt more. I decided I needed to get the ice pack to try to ease the pain. I could barely move the pain was lasting so long -- I was burning up and nauseous from the pain. I took my phone to the kitchen to get the ice pack, but forgot the towel, so I came back and got it from the bathroom cabinet, but I couldn't go any further. It was too agonizing to even take a step. I leaned over and sobbed, hoping it would subside. Eventually my mom came in to check on me and found me crying. She got my dad and went to get the ice pack. They helped me into the nursery to lay down until the pain eased up.
As I lay in the nursery, they removed the lumpy pad from my bed and put on the memory foam topper they'd purchased. Then, the FedEx truck showed up with my camera! I spent the next hour or so reading and messing with features on my new camera -- it is totally awesome. I need to get Lion and get my computer going so I can more easily upload and store pics.
I couldn't help but take pics of Puck and test out my camera and after an hour, my parents were heading out to dinner. I stayed home because of my back. They were home about and hour and a half after leaving.
Dad and I watched the rest of Transformers, though I actually saw about 97% of it. Turns out my dad's never seen the whole movie! Then we all watched my Netflix movie -- 127 Hours. It was pretty good, too.
Good news is that I have my camera and it's awesome.
Bad news is that my back pain is worse and I didn't think it could be much worse... it's enough to make me not walk and bring manymanymany tears to my eyes.
Same basic morning. Woke up. Ate Cheerios. Sat around. Got to chat with Tyler earlier than usual because his day had started earlier than usual. Spent quite a while "chatting."
I use quotes because it's not so much a conversation when it's a statement back and forth every few minutes due to slow internet. I eventually let him go to sleep, as he'd had a long day.
I checked my Netflix and decided to watch something on my tv on Netflix. Unfortunately, since we got a new AirPort, the Xbox Live no longer works. I don't have the energy to figure out how we fixed it before, especially if having the Pelican hooked up and not changing the IP address is what flubbed up the net in the first place. I thought of that today... if the net slowed due to the Pelican, but my dad thought it was the AirPort and bought a new one to fix the problem... there's no way I could risk screwing it up again. It'd be more worth it to buy the ACTUAL Xbox Live wifi thingy.
Well, I started watching a movie on my laptop because I couldn't use the Xbox. However, my back started hurting, but the pain didn't subside after two minutes. It just stayed at "high alert" levels, so I forced myself to get up, which was difficult because of the laptop. I went to pee, but it only made my back hurt more. I decided I needed to get the ice pack to try to ease the pain. I could barely move the pain was lasting so long -- I was burning up and nauseous from the pain. I took my phone to the kitchen to get the ice pack, but forgot the towel, so I came back and got it from the bathroom cabinet, but I couldn't go any further. It was too agonizing to even take a step. I leaned over and sobbed, hoping it would subside. Eventually my mom came in to check on me and found me crying. She got my dad and went to get the ice pack. They helped me into the nursery to lay down until the pain eased up.
As I lay in the nursery, they removed the lumpy pad from my bed and put on the memory foam topper they'd purchased. Then, the FedEx truck showed up with my camera! I spent the next hour or so reading and messing with features on my new camera -- it is totally awesome. I need to get Lion and get my computer going so I can more easily upload and store pics.
I couldn't help but take pics of Puck and test out my camera and after an hour, my parents were heading out to dinner. I stayed home because of my back. They were home about and hour and a half after leaving.
Dad and I watched the rest of Transformers, though I actually saw about 97% of it. Turns out my dad's never seen the whole movie! Then we all watched my Netflix movie -- 127 Hours. It was pretty good, too.
Good news is that I have my camera and it's awesome.
Bad news is that my back pain is worse and I didn't think it could be much worse... it's enough to make me not walk and bring manymanymany tears to my eyes.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Day 49: Holy F-Bombs
The title says it all. Those are the only words that fill my brain when I have my back pain/contractions. It's stupid that the doctors keep telling me to "time them." Ummm, I don't think that's necessary when they're not consistent and I've been having them for almost an entire month! It was so hard to sleep last night because I was in such anguish. All day today it's been miserable.
Dad and I (and Puck) went to Heights today to check on the yard and house. I had to take an ice pack to lean against for the car ride. I told my dad that it helps about 55%, which isn't too bad, but not that great either. It just makes being in a car that long bearable.
Dad mowed the yard and edged, though the weed eater kept dying when he'd turn it to edge, so he didn't edge everything. Then he checked all the sprinklers -- the "main" one up front wasn't working. By that, I mean that it wouldn't rotate. We tried to get it to work for an hour... put CLR on it and messed with parts, but no luck. So at 1530, we went to Lowe's and got a replacement head, as well as another entire sprinkler, in case we have future problems... considering this one only lasted 3-4 months?!
He fixed the sprinklers and adjusted all the timers, while I got everything from inside together. We put the box that one guy mailed us into the third bedroom. I tore up the check that I gave to the neighbors and they gave back, though he did NOT put the garage door opener back, as I had asked him, too. Needless to say, it makes my mom nervous knowing that this guy is unhappy and that he can get into our garage... and I think the house because I can't remember if I locked the door to the laundry room. :(
I may ask Danielle to run by his house and get the GDO and check the laundry room door, then leave the GDO in the truck or on the grill.
Anyway, we didn't head back until 1630. Dad stopped at Sonic so I could get a cold slush, as I had been way too hot all day. He got a chocolate malt. We got home at 1800 and ate Quiznos for dinner, that my mom had picked up. I love Quiznos!
After dinner, my back was hurting, so I stayed home and watched tv laying down while they went to see a movie. We chatted for a bit when they got home and now it's bedtime.
Ty's net was down today, but he texted me from his Afghani phone, which was nice. I just wish I could text back! But he texted me at 1830 to tell me he loves me and that he's going on a mission. I miss him so much.
Dad and I (and Puck) went to Heights today to check on the yard and house. I had to take an ice pack to lean against for the car ride. I told my dad that it helps about 55%, which isn't too bad, but not that great either. It just makes being in a car that long bearable.
Dad mowed the yard and edged, though the weed eater kept dying when he'd turn it to edge, so he didn't edge everything. Then he checked all the sprinklers -- the "main" one up front wasn't working. By that, I mean that it wouldn't rotate. We tried to get it to work for an hour... put CLR on it and messed with parts, but no luck. So at 1530, we went to Lowe's and got a replacement head, as well as another entire sprinkler, in case we have future problems... considering this one only lasted 3-4 months?!
He fixed the sprinklers and adjusted all the timers, while I got everything from inside together. We put the box that one guy mailed us into the third bedroom. I tore up the check that I gave to the neighbors and they gave back, though he did NOT put the garage door opener back, as I had asked him, too. Needless to say, it makes my mom nervous knowing that this guy is unhappy and that he can get into our garage... and I think the house because I can't remember if I locked the door to the laundry room. :(
I may ask Danielle to run by his house and get the GDO and check the laundry room door, then leave the GDO in the truck or on the grill.
Anyway, we didn't head back until 1630. Dad stopped at Sonic so I could get a cold slush, as I had been way too hot all day. He got a chocolate malt. We got home at 1800 and ate Quiznos for dinner, that my mom had picked up. I love Quiznos!
After dinner, my back was hurting, so I stayed home and watched tv laying down while they went to see a movie. We chatted for a bit when they got home and now it's bedtime.
Ty's net was down today, but he texted me from his Afghani phone, which was nice. I just wish I could text back! But he texted me at 1830 to tell me he loves me and that he's going on a mission. I miss him so much.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Day 48: Pleasant
Puck didn't wake up until 0900!!! Wow! I took his food into the kitchen and passed him off to my dad and said I was going back to sleep. :)
I only slept another hour.. and fifteen minutes, then I got up. Had the last of the cheerios for breakfast, then as I was wasting time at the table and got a call from Tyler! What?! Yes -- two days in a row! I was totally surprised and pleased. I love hearing his voice :) I don't like when he spends long waiting to call me, but if there's hardly any wait, then I like it. We chatted for 18 minutes before he had to go catch a bus.
A bit later, Dad said he was going to golf and mom asked for me to help with her hair. Her hair needs some more help than I can provide, but she doesn't want a professional. She soon left to go to DSW and HEB and I got to watch SYTYCD. It was sooooo great! There were two hip hop routines that were miles apart, but both phenomenal. I can't wait to see tonight's results. I could eliminate a guy in my mind, but I had no idea which girl would go. I hope not Caitlynn -- she's so great.
I then got in the pool from 1530 until 1800. Dad came out when he got home from golf and Mom came out after she got back from shopping. Then I showered and ate dinner -- tenderloin and some sweet potato thing mom made. It was delicious, even though I've not been eating much meat this pregnancy... I just don't want it most of the time. I didn't "want" it tonight, but I definitely wasn't opposed.
After, I had some pistachio ice cream -- yum! Mom was nice enough to get me a small thing so I could try it... I guess that was a small craving. I've definitely not eaten anything strange this pregnancy... very few, if any, cravings. I do find myself ravenously thirsty right before bed, which sucks because if I drink, then I'm up all night going to the bathroom!
We watched a couple shows until 2230 and it's only 2317 right now -- not bad. I checked my email and put some pics up on the Vultures page... of the Chinooks -- I couldn't help it -- they were such cool pics! But I did post a question and hopefully I'll get some good responses.
For the past 10 minutes I've been having awesomely intense back pain. I couldn't sit anymore. I couldn't kneel. I tried just standing with my feet apart and leaning my head on the bed... then I did a couple squats. The agony is astonishing.
Dad and I are going to go to Heights tomorrow to check out the yard and house. We'll take Puck, too -- he loves car trips. Dad will mow the grass if it needs it, since Un-Merriman was such a turd. I kind of think he thought because Tyler is so nice that I would be too and he could take advantage. Unfortunately for him, I'm a huge bitch, especially right now, and I don't pander or kowtow to anyone who would screw over a deployed man and his overly pregnant wife. My mom wanted me to "mend fences," I said, "I don't give a shit if his whole fence falls down."
Well, I can not stand the pain any longer and must try to find a way to make it stop.
I only slept another hour.. and fifteen minutes, then I got up. Had the last of the cheerios for breakfast, then as I was wasting time at the table and got a call from Tyler! What?! Yes -- two days in a row! I was totally surprised and pleased. I love hearing his voice :) I don't like when he spends long waiting to call me, but if there's hardly any wait, then I like it. We chatted for 18 minutes before he had to go catch a bus.
A bit later, Dad said he was going to golf and mom asked for me to help with her hair. Her hair needs some more help than I can provide, but she doesn't want a professional. She soon left to go to DSW and HEB and I got to watch SYTYCD. It was sooooo great! There were two hip hop routines that were miles apart, but both phenomenal. I can't wait to see tonight's results. I could eliminate a guy in my mind, but I had no idea which girl would go. I hope not Caitlynn -- she's so great.
I then got in the pool from 1530 until 1800. Dad came out when he got home from golf and Mom came out after she got back from shopping. Then I showered and ate dinner -- tenderloin and some sweet potato thing mom made. It was delicious, even though I've not been eating much meat this pregnancy... I just don't want it most of the time. I didn't "want" it tonight, but I definitely wasn't opposed.
After, I had some pistachio ice cream -- yum! Mom was nice enough to get me a small thing so I could try it... I guess that was a small craving. I've definitely not eaten anything strange this pregnancy... very few, if any, cravings. I do find myself ravenously thirsty right before bed, which sucks because if I drink, then I'm up all night going to the bathroom!
We watched a couple shows until 2230 and it's only 2317 right now -- not bad. I checked my email and put some pics up on the Vultures page... of the Chinooks -- I couldn't help it -- they were such cool pics! But I did post a question and hopefully I'll get some good responses.
For the past 10 minutes I've been having awesomely intense back pain. I couldn't sit anymore. I couldn't kneel. I tried just standing with my feet apart and leaning my head on the bed... then I did a couple squats. The agony is astonishing.
Dad and I are going to go to Heights tomorrow to check out the yard and house. We'll take Puck, too -- he loves car trips. Dad will mow the grass if it needs it, since Un-Merriman was such a turd. I kind of think he thought because Tyler is so nice that I would be too and he could take advantage. Unfortunately for him, I'm a huge bitch, especially right now, and I don't pander or kowtow to anyone who would screw over a deployed man and his overly pregnant wife. My mom wanted me to "mend fences," I said, "I don't give a shit if his whole fence falls down."
Well, I can not stand the pain any longer and must try to find a way to make it stop.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Day 47: Birthday, Not Birth Day
I went to bed late, as I decided to watch my Netflix movie. When I woke up at 0800 to take out Puck, I was not very happy to learn he wanted to be a shit today. He chased a rabbit into the woods, then refused to come out. I came back inside with plans to leave him out until my parents woke up, but I figured he'd eat something or stink by the time that happened, so I went back out and called him more. Finally, he came my way and I was so mad, I bent down to check his teeth and smell him and felt/heard a small "pop" in my head. We came in and I told him to go eat his dinner and I got back in bed.
I somehow didn't wake up until 1040! A bit later than I meant to sleep, but oh well. I changed, washed my face, then notice how red my right eye was. I put some eye drops in and went to eat cereal. My dad stopped to wish me a happy birthday and sit with me while I ate, but halfway through eating, Tyler called!
Dad decided to go about his business while I finished eating, then came to my room to chat with Tyler. He had four pieces of fried chicken, but no succotash for dinner. I didn't know until tonight when discussing this with my parents that succotash is not a vegetable in and of itself... it's corn and lima beans (or other shelled beans)! I always imagined it as a root vegetable... like rutabaga. Well now I know!
I did get to chat with Ty for 32 minutes! It was nice to be able to chat that long, though there were lulls, as we don't have as much to chat about when we don't physically see one another. I told him that I was going to lower the price of the house to $158K, but I think we should offer it to the Aultman's for $155k flat. We're sinking $16,000 into this house in the time that no one is living in it, but we're still paying for it. It's better to sell and lose a couple thousand, than hold on to it for a full year and lost $16k + however much more until we sell.
Anyway, after I chatted with Ty. We discussed what the "plan" for the day was and that we'd go to dinner at Olive Garden. My dad kept asking what I want to eat and I kept saying that I had no idea what I wanted, but I could tell him what I didn't want. As I had a massage scheduled for 1615 at Westgate, I suggested eating in that area. They weren't too keen on Quiznos, but had mentioned Olive Garden a few times in the past couple weeks, so I said fine.
Mom and I headed to her school -- I drove, since Ty said he was going to bed and not getting online. However, as I was driving, he Tango-ed me. The reception was terrible. I could neither hear nor see him and I couldn't hold the phone because I had to drive -- we were in the Matrix and it's surprisingly difficult to steer... definitely takes both hands. He ended up sending me a HeyTell message, which was sweet, but I was upset that he was awake and not sleeping, since he had to be up super early! My mom was irritated at me for being upset, but I said, "It doesn't matter how cute he sounds if he doesn't come home because he didn't get enough sleep!" She sees it as he's being sweet and sounds so cute, but I see it as life and death and I can't afford to have him not get enough sleep because I need him. I did later send him a message telling him that I appreciated his thinking of me.
We stopped by Rita's because mom wanted a treat, but they didn't have any flavors I cared for and she didn't want to get one by herself. We returned some audiobooks to the library and mailed my Netflix movie, then we went to Great Harvest to get and split a smoothie. She didn't want a lid for her smoothie and suggested sitting on the bench in the store. I sat down and hear, "Oh, crap!" and when I look over, I see smoothie dripping down her shirt and all over her pants! I get up to get her napkins as a family walks in. Now, unfortunately for her, it was a pink smoothie and she was wearing her white shorts, so I suggested sneaking out before the family turned around and noticed her. She agreed and we got in the car. I was laughing, as was she, and I WISH I had seen what she had done! She said that the funny thing is she thought she was being really careful. I said, "I bet you were trying not to spill or drop your bread and forgot you said you didn't want a lid on your smoothie."
I started the car and notice we were totally low on gas, so we had to stop and fill up before we could go back home to get her a change of clothes. We did get a cooler with some ice packs for the cookie cake slices, so they wouldn't melt in the car, while we were home.
We headed to the mall, picked up our treats, then headed toward Teacher Heaven where she showed me stuff she wanted for her classroom. Her ideas consisted of: Albert Einstein with some "Think Like a Scientist" stuff around him, some pink and green with zebra print and "dragons" (alligators), a few monkeys, then some robots (to tie it all together)! I had to tell her that there's no amount of robots that could tie all that together. I suggested ONE theme and that it be science, but only science that she will teach. She is having a hard time realizing she's really only teaching one subject.
We chatted in the car until 1600 when we drove to my massage. The guy was pretty good, though he was an "energy" kinda guy... where they lay their hands on you and think positive thoughts -- as far as I'm concerned, that's a waste of my time. Push on my muscles and make me feel better already! He spent about 10 extra minutes on me, which was nice, though the last half I was so freaking HOT under the covers that I was almost sweating, plus I had to burp and my chest kept making noises when I'd try to breathe, which was embarrassing.
We went to Olive Garden for dinner. It was sad how empty it was... I've never seen the CenTex OG anything less that packed. Food was good, though we waited for quite a while to get our food.
We came home and watched Covert Affairs, then Royal Pains. They then wanted to watch a show I don't care to start watching because I don't need to become interested in any new shows. I think I may watch something on Netflix streaming for a bit, then go to sleep. As for now, Puck needs to go out and potty.
I somehow didn't wake up until 1040! A bit later than I meant to sleep, but oh well. I changed, washed my face, then notice how red my right eye was. I put some eye drops in and went to eat cereal. My dad stopped to wish me a happy birthday and sit with me while I ate, but halfway through eating, Tyler called!
Dad decided to go about his business while I finished eating, then came to my room to chat with Tyler. He had four pieces of fried chicken, but no succotash for dinner. I didn't know until tonight when discussing this with my parents that succotash is not a vegetable in and of itself... it's corn and lima beans (or other shelled beans)! I always imagined it as a root vegetable... like rutabaga. Well now I know!
I did get to chat with Ty for 32 minutes! It was nice to be able to chat that long, though there were lulls, as we don't have as much to chat about when we don't physically see one another. I told him that I was going to lower the price of the house to $158K, but I think we should offer it to the Aultman's for $155k flat. We're sinking $16,000 into this house in the time that no one is living in it, but we're still paying for it. It's better to sell and lose a couple thousand, than hold on to it for a full year and lost $16k + however much more until we sell.
Anyway, after I chatted with Ty. We discussed what the "plan" for the day was and that we'd go to dinner at Olive Garden. My dad kept asking what I want to eat and I kept saying that I had no idea what I wanted, but I could tell him what I didn't want. As I had a massage scheduled for 1615 at Westgate, I suggested eating in that area. They weren't too keen on Quiznos, but had mentioned Olive Garden a few times in the past couple weeks, so I said fine.
Mom and I headed to her school -- I drove, since Ty said he was going to bed and not getting online. However, as I was driving, he Tango-ed me. The reception was terrible. I could neither hear nor see him and I couldn't hold the phone because I had to drive -- we were in the Matrix and it's surprisingly difficult to steer... definitely takes both hands. He ended up sending me a HeyTell message, which was sweet, but I was upset that he was awake and not sleeping, since he had to be up super early! My mom was irritated at me for being upset, but I said, "It doesn't matter how cute he sounds if he doesn't come home because he didn't get enough sleep!" She sees it as he's being sweet and sounds so cute, but I see it as life and death and I can't afford to have him not get enough sleep because I need him. I did later send him a message telling him that I appreciated his thinking of me.
We stopped by Rita's because mom wanted a treat, but they didn't have any flavors I cared for and she didn't want to get one by herself. We returned some audiobooks to the library and mailed my Netflix movie, then we went to Great Harvest to get and split a smoothie. She didn't want a lid for her smoothie and suggested sitting on the bench in the store. I sat down and hear, "Oh, crap!" and when I look over, I see smoothie dripping down her shirt and all over her pants! I get up to get her napkins as a family walks in. Now, unfortunately for her, it was a pink smoothie and she was wearing her white shorts, so I suggested sneaking out before the family turned around and noticed her. She agreed and we got in the car. I was laughing, as was she, and I WISH I had seen what she had done! She said that the funny thing is she thought she was being really careful. I said, "I bet you were trying not to spill or drop your bread and forgot you said you didn't want a lid on your smoothie."
I started the car and notice we were totally low on gas, so we had to stop and fill up before we could go back home to get her a change of clothes. We did get a cooler with some ice packs for the cookie cake slices, so they wouldn't melt in the car, while we were home.
We headed to the mall, picked up our treats, then headed toward Teacher Heaven where she showed me stuff she wanted for her classroom. Her ideas consisted of: Albert Einstein with some "Think Like a Scientist" stuff around him, some pink and green with zebra print and "dragons" (alligators), a few monkeys, then some robots (to tie it all together)! I had to tell her that there's no amount of robots that could tie all that together. I suggested ONE theme and that it be science, but only science that she will teach. She is having a hard time realizing she's really only teaching one subject.
We chatted in the car until 1600 when we drove to my massage. The guy was pretty good, though he was an "energy" kinda guy... where they lay their hands on you and think positive thoughts -- as far as I'm concerned, that's a waste of my time. Push on my muscles and make me feel better already! He spent about 10 extra minutes on me, which was nice, though the last half I was so freaking HOT under the covers that I was almost sweating, plus I had to burp and my chest kept making noises when I'd try to breathe, which was embarrassing.
We went to Olive Garden for dinner. It was sad how empty it was... I've never seen the CenTex OG anything less that packed. Food was good, though we waited for quite a while to get our food.
We came home and watched Covert Affairs, then Royal Pains. They then wanted to watch a show I don't care to start watching because I don't need to become interested in any new shows. I think I may watch something on Netflix streaming for a bit, then go to sleep. As for now, Puck needs to go out and potty.
Day 46: Sleepy Much?!
Woke up at 1030. Mom was gone to the doctor and dad was gone golfing. I was to be alone until 1230! It's only funny because I know how much they worry about leaving me alone. I'm pregnant, not dying... though the way I felt last night may lead me to believe otherwise.
My back pain has been incredibly severe sine my doctor's appointment yesterday. The "contractions" are more often and excruciating. I woke up so many times last night in agony. I couldn't move to make the pain stop and moving to make it stop made it worse, first! If there's a massage special tomorrow, I may have to take it... or I may just have to ask for one here at our Massage Harmony just as a birthday wish. The searing pain in my lower back is making the rest of my back all hard and tense.
I have asked that we NOT buy a cookie cake... as much as I want one. I feel so disgusting and fat that I can't justify having a cake around. I'll eat it and just be ugly. I suggested a double doozie and they can buy 2 slices of cookie cake, so that way it won't be around to help make me even larger. I miss being thin and it's going to be so hard to get back to that :(
Speaking of thin... Tyler has become a skinny mini. If I were thin, too, I'd totally want to see him and touch his slim bod. However, being at my all-time most large ever, I think I'd feel totally self-conscious and disgusting and not be able to enjoy seeing him. However, I do hope he is able to maintain a healthy weight, as I don't want his bags or body armor to crush his body.
I did get to video chat on iChat for a bit today (his 0200) and he was sooooo handsome. I hate how surreal our marriage feels when he's deployed. I hate how I can forget how incredibly good looking he is... it's like I "know" he is, but then when I see him... it's just like, "Wow!" Makes me realize I don't have near enough pics of him.
I can't believe he was here for almost a year and we took practically NO pictures! After the wedding and honeymoon it was like a camera-free zone. Worst idea ever when you only get to see someone every other year. I suppose I was too busy trying to be in the moment and trying not to think about him being gone for another year.
Anyway... finished up the FRG rosters and sent them out. Guess what?! I got an email from the FRSA that asked if families had changed their request to be contacted. Ummm what? Yeah, apparently when I emailed last month asking why we had 12 families that were not being contacted at all and NO ONE answered me or even acknowledged that I asked a question, it meant we had 12 families request to not be contacted. Hey, that would have been nice to know so I wouldn't keep wasting my time. I told the FRSA that we were just making sure their info was up-to-date.
Dad came home and as we were about to head out to Best Buy, I got a text from Ty. I told my dad we had to wait til I was done chatting, so he did what he could to bide his time and make himself irritable. He canceled the camera. He called the place that has our lawn mower -- they've had it a week and still don't have an ESTIMATE for costs. And after not playing so well in golf, he wasn't not in the most patient of moods.
I chatted with Ty for a bit, but I knew he was getting sleepy and I needed to get my ass to Best Buy, so I got off the computer and kept chatting on my phone for a bit. We tried the BB by the Galleria. We took the hands-free device Daniel had bought my dad (spontaneously) to get store credit -- Jamie said it would work -- but they wouldn't even issue store credit without a receipt! Oh, that made him mad! He was quite snarky with the guy and we went to go check out the Sony NEX 5 camera. I held it and messed around with it and it was pretty sweet. Very user-friendly and logical. We checked out other cameras, but I wasn't interested in anything else, so we headed over to Lowe's for some paint thing for the deck.
It was about 1530 when we got home and I sat around for a while and had dad order the Sony camera. He didn't want to pay the $5 for the cam to ship in 4-6 days because 7-9 days for free was good enough. I said, "Ok, if you're willing to risk it, then fine." I even said I'd pay the $5! I don't understand... Maybe I'll be lucky enough to just be in agony for another solid week or so and get the cam before I get the baby.
I had to get on iChat to ask Paul a couple questions about SD cards and noticed Ty online, but "away." I texted him, but didn't get a response. Then I "called" him and let it ring and ring, but no response. But I guess he woke up because he called me! We were able to video chat for a bit. He got to see Puck and after being tired of hearing the tv, I came into my room to chat with him. He was so handsome and we shared a few laughs. It was nice to see him smile -- I miss his smile and laughing with him. We have a lot of fun together and laugh often... it's one of my favorite things about being married to him. My dad came to see what I was doing, then left, but he told my mom who came in to be mildly nosey. It's sweet that she misses him so much and wants to see him and know how he's doing, but it's almost like she forgets he's my husband and there's no way in the world she can feel like I do.
I was a bit sad when he asked me to have his parents email him. It's a confusing relationship we all seem to have. They're totally sweet, but I always feel a bit outside the loop because we got legally married without them here..? I'm not sure. I know Ty would talk to his dad, if not both his folks almost daily while here, but then to leave and have no communication at all in 46 days? That's odd. I know they moved. I know he's gone. I know I exist a little less because he's gone. But no communication after almost daily chats? That's like slamming on your breaks on the highway to me. If they didn't chat so much while he was stateside, then I could see not talking as much.
Regardless, I told them that he just doesn't have time to stand in line to use the phone (he doesn't even call me, which is understandable and fine... I don't want him wasting time waiting in line), but that he would very much like to hear from them via email or at least to respond to the email he sends. His dad emailed him back today and CC'd me -- it was a sweet email. I know how much it means for Ty to hear from them :)
A bit ago I'd asked Josh, Kevin, Billy, and Jason to all email Ty and lift his spirits because he had whiney warrants. They all said they'd love to... I know that Kevin did and I think Josh did. Billy and Jason said they'd love to, but I'll have to see if they did. I bet Ty wishes he had command of the "old" A Co when all his buddies were there. That's got to be hard, but it's the job he wanted most, so I hope he loves it, too.
Anyway, I finally made Ty go to sleep, as much as I didn't want to, I did want him rested. I was starving because I'd not eaten anything for lunch, so I suggested someone start cooking dinner, as it was 1730. I cut up my bell peppers and cooked them, while dad made eggs and bacon. We ate and it was yuuuummmmmmmmy!
Unfortunately, I fed Puck, let him out, then came to my room to lay down... and I passed out until 2130! Almost three hours! I decided to get up and go watch tv with the folks for a bit. Now I'm back in my room and obviously not too sleepy. It's crazy to think of how little I have to do before I become exhausted. My mom mentioned my sleep getting out of whack and I said it didn't really matter because soon enough I'd be sleeping whenever I got the chance, regardless of what time it was. She agreed that that was a good point.
Tomorrow, I'm going to look at Teacher Heaven to help my mom pick out crap for her classroom, then we're going to get my double doozie, then hopefully I can squeeze in a massage at some point (after the "errands," of course!). I'm very glad Ty isn't flying for the next few days. He needs some time to catch up on other stuff and to relax his back.
Well... I've officially been 28 for 18 minutes now. This is the fourth birthday I've had since I met Ty and the second of which he's been deployed. I can't wait for next year's bday when he's home.
My back pain has been incredibly severe sine my doctor's appointment yesterday. The "contractions" are more often and excruciating. I woke up so many times last night in agony. I couldn't move to make the pain stop and moving to make it stop made it worse, first! If there's a massage special tomorrow, I may have to take it... or I may just have to ask for one here at our Massage Harmony just as a birthday wish. The searing pain in my lower back is making the rest of my back all hard and tense.
I have asked that we NOT buy a cookie cake... as much as I want one. I feel so disgusting and fat that I can't justify having a cake around. I'll eat it and just be ugly. I suggested a double doozie and they can buy 2 slices of cookie cake, so that way it won't be around to help make me even larger. I miss being thin and it's going to be so hard to get back to that :(
Speaking of thin... Tyler has become a skinny mini. If I were thin, too, I'd totally want to see him and touch his slim bod. However, being at my all-time most large ever, I think I'd feel totally self-conscious and disgusting and not be able to enjoy seeing him. However, I do hope he is able to maintain a healthy weight, as I don't want his bags or body armor to crush his body.
I did get to video chat on iChat for a bit today (his 0200) and he was sooooo handsome. I hate how surreal our marriage feels when he's deployed. I hate how I can forget how incredibly good looking he is... it's like I "know" he is, but then when I see him... it's just like, "Wow!" Makes me realize I don't have near enough pics of him.
I can't believe he was here for almost a year and we took practically NO pictures! After the wedding and honeymoon it was like a camera-free zone. Worst idea ever when you only get to see someone every other year. I suppose I was too busy trying to be in the moment and trying not to think about him being gone for another year.
Anyway... finished up the FRG rosters and sent them out. Guess what?! I got an email from the FRSA that asked if families had changed their request to be contacted. Ummm what? Yeah, apparently when I emailed last month asking why we had 12 families that were not being contacted at all and NO ONE answered me or even acknowledged that I asked a question, it meant we had 12 families request to not be contacted. Hey, that would have been nice to know so I wouldn't keep wasting my time. I told the FRSA that we were just making sure their info was up-to-date.
Dad came home and as we were about to head out to Best Buy, I got a text from Ty. I told my dad we had to wait til I was done chatting, so he did what he could to bide his time and make himself irritable. He canceled the camera. He called the place that has our lawn mower -- they've had it a week and still don't have an ESTIMATE for costs. And after not playing so well in golf, he wasn't not in the most patient of moods.
I chatted with Ty for a bit, but I knew he was getting sleepy and I needed to get my ass to Best Buy, so I got off the computer and kept chatting on my phone for a bit. We tried the BB by the Galleria. We took the hands-free device Daniel had bought my dad (spontaneously) to get store credit -- Jamie said it would work -- but they wouldn't even issue store credit without a receipt! Oh, that made him mad! He was quite snarky with the guy and we went to go check out the Sony NEX 5 camera. I held it and messed around with it and it was pretty sweet. Very user-friendly and logical. We checked out other cameras, but I wasn't interested in anything else, so we headed over to Lowe's for some paint thing for the deck.
It was about 1530 when we got home and I sat around for a while and had dad order the Sony camera. He didn't want to pay the $5 for the cam to ship in 4-6 days because 7-9 days for free was good enough. I said, "Ok, if you're willing to risk it, then fine." I even said I'd pay the $5! I don't understand... Maybe I'll be lucky enough to just be in agony for another solid week or so and get the cam before I get the baby.
I had to get on iChat to ask Paul a couple questions about SD cards and noticed Ty online, but "away." I texted him, but didn't get a response. Then I "called" him and let it ring and ring, but no response. But I guess he woke up because he called me! We were able to video chat for a bit. He got to see Puck and after being tired of hearing the tv, I came into my room to chat with him. He was so handsome and we shared a few laughs. It was nice to see him smile -- I miss his smile and laughing with him. We have a lot of fun together and laugh often... it's one of my favorite things about being married to him. My dad came to see what I was doing, then left, but he told my mom who came in to be mildly nosey. It's sweet that she misses him so much and wants to see him and know how he's doing, but it's almost like she forgets he's my husband and there's no way in the world she can feel like I do.
I was a bit sad when he asked me to have his parents email him. It's a confusing relationship we all seem to have. They're totally sweet, but I always feel a bit outside the loop because we got legally married without them here..? I'm not sure. I know Ty would talk to his dad, if not both his folks almost daily while here, but then to leave and have no communication at all in 46 days? That's odd. I know they moved. I know he's gone. I know I exist a little less because he's gone. But no communication after almost daily chats? That's like slamming on your breaks on the highway to me. If they didn't chat so much while he was stateside, then I could see not talking as much.
Regardless, I told them that he just doesn't have time to stand in line to use the phone (he doesn't even call me, which is understandable and fine... I don't want him wasting time waiting in line), but that he would very much like to hear from them via email or at least to respond to the email he sends. His dad emailed him back today and CC'd me -- it was a sweet email. I know how much it means for Ty to hear from them :)
A bit ago I'd asked Josh, Kevin, Billy, and Jason to all email Ty and lift his spirits because he had whiney warrants. They all said they'd love to... I know that Kevin did and I think Josh did. Billy and Jason said they'd love to, but I'll have to see if they did. I bet Ty wishes he had command of the "old" A Co when all his buddies were there. That's got to be hard, but it's the job he wanted most, so I hope he loves it, too.
Anyway, I finally made Ty go to sleep, as much as I didn't want to, I did want him rested. I was starving because I'd not eaten anything for lunch, so I suggested someone start cooking dinner, as it was 1730. I cut up my bell peppers and cooked them, while dad made eggs and bacon. We ate and it was yuuuummmmmmmmy!
Unfortunately, I fed Puck, let him out, then came to my room to lay down... and I passed out until 2130! Almost three hours! I decided to get up and go watch tv with the folks for a bit. Now I'm back in my room and obviously not too sleepy. It's crazy to think of how little I have to do before I become exhausted. My mom mentioned my sleep getting out of whack and I said it didn't really matter because soon enough I'd be sleeping whenever I got the chance, regardless of what time it was. She agreed that that was a good point.
Tomorrow, I'm going to look at Teacher Heaven to help my mom pick out crap for her classroom, then we're going to get my double doozie, then hopefully I can squeeze in a massage at some point (after the "errands," of course!). I'm very glad Ty isn't flying for the next few days. He needs some time to catch up on other stuff and to relax his back.
Well... I've officially been 28 for 18 minutes now. This is the fourth birthday I've had since I met Ty and the second of which he's been deployed. I can't wait for next year's bday when he's home.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Day 45: Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News
Wow, so waking up at 0700 when you know you can't just go back to sleep after taking out the dog is REALLY hard! Surprise, surprise! Had a bowl of cereal by 0730 and left by 0745. Turns out morning "rush hour" was not so rushy and we got to the doctor's in 15 minutes. I was annoyed that we were early because I didn't want to have to wait.
I think we were called back about 5 minutes before our appointment time, which was a pleasant surprise. I had my exam and learned I was still 1cm. Dr. K was like, "Ok, so you're making good progress!" I said, "But I've been at 1cm for the past FOUR visits..." I was nice enough to mention that the first of those four visits was with her and apparently she didn't remember or read my chart (I'd accept either). She then looked back at my chart and realized that both she, Ashley, and Dr. A, had all said "1cm"... She said basically to make an appointment for next week and hopefully she'd see me in the hospital before then.
I mentioned my back and surgeries and how I'm not a hardcore athlete, nor was I ever in any sort of accident, but am just naturally breakable. I mentioned how Dr. A said pregnancy and labor could cause permanent damage and that needs to not happen because I'm no use to a healthy baby if I can't move. Then my mom asked about if a CS would prevent further damage to my back.
I was flummoxed at how flip her answers came across. It was a much more matter-of-fact/you're-a-retard sort of attitude. I was very frustrated by the end of her answers because I felt so stressed and like I'm just some whiney pregnant girl, not that I'm in agonizing pain to where I can't move my legs or breathe when the pain hits. She asked about contractions -- I said yes -- and she said to time them. I told her that I've been having them for weeks and they're not quite at a time-able stage yet, but I would when they seemed mildly regular.
On a semi-related note, there's a Zumba contest to win $5k and I have a great idea. Basically, you are filmed during the busiest time of your day and you stop whatever you're doing and do 30s+ of this Zumba routine that's to Pitbull's new song, "Pause." Now, I obviously have an upcoming PERFECT time to do such a thing and I've gotten approval from both my folks, buuuuut my concern is that Zumba is far less sexy when 10 months pregnant than it is when you're skinny and fit. I can't imagine Beto and Pitbull judging and thinking MINE is the best, just because I won't be as good looking as I used to be... not by a long shot! But, I'm still going to give it a whirl and hope for the best.
Anyway, we came home and I was so pissed off and bitchy the whole way -- my mom's so good about ignoring me :) However, I told her I was going back to sleep, so she took out Puck and went shopping for a bit.
I woke up at 1245 and had a bit of lunch, then took care of Bub and started coloring my last poster. Dad came home at 1300 and asked me about the appointment and was frustrated, too. Then mom came back and agreed to take me to get a pedicure and a "happy hour" frapp. I was much calmer after my nap, frapp, and new toes.
I finished the coloring of the posters, then knew I had to give Puck his "spa day," as I call it. I changed into shorts, then grabbed all his crap and dad and I went outside. We trimmed his nails, where he squirmed the most, but still not too much. Then we cleaned his ears again -- I HATE HATE HATE the smell of that ear stuff and it makes my hands stink for ages. Next, we shaved him down again. And finally, I took him in and gave him a bath in my shower where I'd installed my shower head from Heights.
He was a clean and crazy guy after we finished. I also showered myself, since I was covered in hair. Then I helped my mom make dinner. I liked it, as did my dad, but I love easy dinners -- one meat and one veggie. My mom likes more items and fancier stuff, but it's just too much trouble as far as I'm concerned.
Just FYI, I have the laptop on the floor and I'm on my knees and elbows with my bum up in the air... doing a pseudo "tummy time"... because my back was becoming electric in the bad way and I couldn't stand it.
After dinner, I worked on lettering the posters, dad watched tv, and mom worked on her photo book on the computer. When mom finished, I got on the computer to check and compare two cameras, since the one we ordered still hasn't shipped.
I got the camera name we ordered from my dad's email, then I looked up the other one we had thought about, then I was going to look up the Sony that was rated highly, too. I called in my dad and he said, "We didn't order the G3. We ordered the GF3." I told him I got the type from his email and showed him. He didn't believe me, so he opened up the Panasonic order page and it showed the camera and said, "G3." He was like, "This isn't what I ordered!"
I assured him it was and that he chose the bigger one and how the LCD can move around, so that's why I never questioned it. He said he meant to get the smaller one and that its LCD moved, too. We had to watch the video about the cameras and look at the specs before he believed me that only the LCD on the bigger cam moved. I also pointed out that the G3 was to be released a couple months before the GF3.
He was upset that we'd been waiting so long for this camera and it wasn't even the right one! I pointed out that the GF3 still hasn't been released, then pointed out that the supposed ship date for the G3 went from "June/July" to "August/September." We pretty much decided to cancel the order, which we'll do tomorrow. It's a shame we waited 18 days before doing it. However, I guess it's good that I pointed out all that I did.
We spent a bit of time looking at a Sony NEX5 and found a place to order that has free shipping, comes with an SD card, and a carrying case for the same price as the Panasonic without extra goodies. So, tomorrow we'll cancel the Panasonic and we're going to go to Best Buy to look at the NEX5 because they have it there and it'd be nice to see/handle before buying it (online). Hopefully, I can convince him to spend $5 and get it shipped about a week faster.
I eventually got him to stop looking and agree to continue tomorrow and go watch tv for now. I had planned on working on my lettering while watching The Closer, but my back hurt too bad, so I went in and laid on the couch to watch it with my folks.
I hope I don't experience full on back labor... that'd be the pits.
Oh yeah! I got to talk to Ty today. He wasn't stuck on some German FOB -- his net was down and he fell asleep trying to get online. He also said he "flew his face off" and wrecked his humvee. I told him to be careful because that would be the most embarrassing "combat injury" story if he got hurt and had to come home. I can just hear it:
Friend: Wow! You got injured and they sent you home? Did the helicopter break and you have to crash land? Was it enemy fire? What happened, man?!
Ty: Well... I got into a car accident... by myself... on the FOB. I ran into a ditch.
Of course it'd be nice if he were sent home, but he'd be mortified. And I wouldn't blame him!
Finally, my dear Lisa... what a mess she is causing. She's upsetting her husband and he's not doing his job. She's supposedly blowing everything out of proportion and being a drama queen. Rear D heard and Michelle heard and contacted Christine who contacted me. I told her all I knew about Lisa and then forwarded her email that she'd sent to me.
D.R.A.M.A :( ugh
I think we were called back about 5 minutes before our appointment time, which was a pleasant surprise. I had my exam and learned I was still 1cm. Dr. K was like, "Ok, so you're making good progress!" I said, "But I've been at 1cm for the past FOUR visits..." I was nice enough to mention that the first of those four visits was with her and apparently she didn't remember or read my chart (I'd accept either). She then looked back at my chart and realized that both she, Ashley, and Dr. A, had all said "1cm"... She said basically to make an appointment for next week and hopefully she'd see me in the hospital before then.
I mentioned my back and surgeries and how I'm not a hardcore athlete, nor was I ever in any sort of accident, but am just naturally breakable. I mentioned how Dr. A said pregnancy and labor could cause permanent damage and that needs to not happen because I'm no use to a healthy baby if I can't move. Then my mom asked about if a CS would prevent further damage to my back.
I was flummoxed at how flip her answers came across. It was a much more matter-of-fact/you're-a-retard sort of attitude. I was very frustrated by the end of her answers because I felt so stressed and like I'm just some whiney pregnant girl, not that I'm in agonizing pain to where I can't move my legs or breathe when the pain hits. She asked about contractions -- I said yes -- and she said to time them. I told her that I've been having them for weeks and they're not quite at a time-able stage yet, but I would when they seemed mildly regular.
On a semi-related note, there's a Zumba contest to win $5k and I have a great idea. Basically, you are filmed during the busiest time of your day and you stop whatever you're doing and do 30s+ of this Zumba routine that's to Pitbull's new song, "Pause." Now, I obviously have an upcoming PERFECT time to do such a thing and I've gotten approval from both my folks, buuuuut my concern is that Zumba is far less sexy when 10 months pregnant than it is when you're skinny and fit. I can't imagine Beto and Pitbull judging and thinking MINE is the best, just because I won't be as good looking as I used to be... not by a long shot! But, I'm still going to give it a whirl and hope for the best.
Anyway, we came home and I was so pissed off and bitchy the whole way -- my mom's so good about ignoring me :) However, I told her I was going back to sleep, so she took out Puck and went shopping for a bit.
I woke up at 1245 and had a bit of lunch, then took care of Bub and started coloring my last poster. Dad came home at 1300 and asked me about the appointment and was frustrated, too. Then mom came back and agreed to take me to get a pedicure and a "happy hour" frapp. I was much calmer after my nap, frapp, and new toes.
I finished the coloring of the posters, then knew I had to give Puck his "spa day," as I call it. I changed into shorts, then grabbed all his crap and dad and I went outside. We trimmed his nails, where he squirmed the most, but still not too much. Then we cleaned his ears again -- I HATE HATE HATE the smell of that ear stuff and it makes my hands stink for ages. Next, we shaved him down again. And finally, I took him in and gave him a bath in my shower where I'd installed my shower head from Heights.
He was a clean and crazy guy after we finished. I also showered myself, since I was covered in hair. Then I helped my mom make dinner. I liked it, as did my dad, but I love easy dinners -- one meat and one veggie. My mom likes more items and fancier stuff, but it's just too much trouble as far as I'm concerned.
Just FYI, I have the laptop on the floor and I'm on my knees and elbows with my bum up in the air... doing a pseudo "tummy time"... because my back was becoming electric in the bad way and I couldn't stand it.
After dinner, I worked on lettering the posters, dad watched tv, and mom worked on her photo book on the computer. When mom finished, I got on the computer to check and compare two cameras, since the one we ordered still hasn't shipped.
I got the camera name we ordered from my dad's email, then I looked up the other one we had thought about, then I was going to look up the Sony that was rated highly, too. I called in my dad and he said, "We didn't order the G3. We ordered the GF3." I told him I got the type from his email and showed him. He didn't believe me, so he opened up the Panasonic order page and it showed the camera and said, "G3." He was like, "This isn't what I ordered!"
I assured him it was and that he chose the bigger one and how the LCD can move around, so that's why I never questioned it. He said he meant to get the smaller one and that its LCD moved, too. We had to watch the video about the cameras and look at the specs before he believed me that only the LCD on the bigger cam moved. I also pointed out that the G3 was to be released a couple months before the GF3.
He was upset that we'd been waiting so long for this camera and it wasn't even the right one! I pointed out that the GF3 still hasn't been released, then pointed out that the supposed ship date for the G3 went from "June/July" to "August/September." We pretty much decided to cancel the order, which we'll do tomorrow. It's a shame we waited 18 days before doing it. However, I guess it's good that I pointed out all that I did.
We spent a bit of time looking at a Sony NEX5 and found a place to order that has free shipping, comes with an SD card, and a carrying case for the same price as the Panasonic without extra goodies. So, tomorrow we'll cancel the Panasonic and we're going to go to Best Buy to look at the NEX5 because they have it there and it'd be nice to see/handle before buying it (online). Hopefully, I can convince him to spend $5 and get it shipped about a week faster.
I eventually got him to stop looking and agree to continue tomorrow and go watch tv for now. I had planned on working on my lettering while watching The Closer, but my back hurt too bad, so I went in and laid on the couch to watch it with my folks.
I hope I don't experience full on back labor... that'd be the pits.
Oh yeah! I got to talk to Ty today. He wasn't stuck on some German FOB -- his net was down and he fell asleep trying to get online. He also said he "flew his face off" and wrecked his humvee. I told him to be careful because that would be the most embarrassing "combat injury" story if he got hurt and had to come home. I can just hear it:
Friend: Wow! You got injured and they sent you home? Did the helicopter break and you have to crash land? Was it enemy fire? What happened, man?!
Ty: Well... I got into a car accident... by myself... on the FOB. I ran into a ditch.
Of course it'd be nice if he were sent home, but he'd be mortified. And I wouldn't blame him!
Finally, my dear Lisa... what a mess she is causing. She's upsetting her husband and he's not doing his job. She's supposedly blowing everything out of proportion and being a drama queen. Rear D heard and Michelle heard and contacted Christine who contacted me. I told her all I knew about Lisa and then forwarded her email that she'd sent to me.
D.R.A.M.A :( ugh
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Day 44: So Hot
I swear I spend most of my days on the verge of sweating. I'm just hot enough to be uncomfortable, but not sweat... much.
It took me forever to fall asleep last night. I was in quite a lot of pain while trying to sleep and when getting up to pee, but I woke up at 1000 and then decided I should color those darned posters before I have this baby or I'll never finish. I colored diligently until I got bored and put everything away. When I checked to see what time it was, I was shocked to learn it was 1400! Wow! It was late and time had flown.
Unfortunately, I hadn't heard from Ty. I had a feeling that I wouldn't get to, as it was already 2330 his time. I decided to put on my suit and get in the pool.
After a bit, my dad came home from golfing and got in the pool. We talked and he said maybe Ty got stuck somewhere due to weather. I agreed that was probably what happened, as it's happened numerous times before, though he likes hanging out with the Germans. I told him about Ty's big brief to the BDE Commander and my dad asked why Tyler was briefing him... honestly, I have no idea. I said, "Apparently Ty's good at what he does..."
We hung out in the pool and chatted until he went to go check out the FIFA women's game for a bit and I swam laps. Then he came out for another hour and a half and we chatted more. At 1700 we got out and came inside. I played on the computer for a little bit, then showered. It was 1745 and I was bored, but ready for dinner. I began heating up the tortilla soup mom had prepared for dinner. She eventually came in and helped me get everything ready to eat.
It was so spicy! I had to have two small glasses of milk... and needless to say, I was a bit sweaty-ish, too. Then dad got some ice cream and I was stuck making chocolate chip cookies. I am not sure why, but mom wanted to use the recipe on the bag of chocolate chips, which was an HEB generic recipe. We made it in a pie, but it was like an inch thick, so it took forever to bake and it was so totally bland and flavorless it was insane. I remembered why I never make chocolate chip cookies... they just have no flavor and are so boring.
Mom and dad eventually joined me in the living room and we watched What Women Want and then we watched something I'd recorded called Elephant Man Autopsy. It was a very fascinating show.
I came back to my room about an hour ago and have been emailing Lisa, my key caller. I'm sweaty-ish again and my back aches. I have my next/last OB appointment at 0830, which means I have to leave at 0745 to get there with traffic. Bleh... early :(
It took me forever to fall asleep last night. I was in quite a lot of pain while trying to sleep and when getting up to pee, but I woke up at 1000 and then decided I should color those darned posters before I have this baby or I'll never finish. I colored diligently until I got bored and put everything away. When I checked to see what time it was, I was shocked to learn it was 1400! Wow! It was late and time had flown.
Unfortunately, I hadn't heard from Ty. I had a feeling that I wouldn't get to, as it was already 2330 his time. I decided to put on my suit and get in the pool.
After a bit, my dad came home from golfing and got in the pool. We talked and he said maybe Ty got stuck somewhere due to weather. I agreed that was probably what happened, as it's happened numerous times before, though he likes hanging out with the Germans. I told him about Ty's big brief to the BDE Commander and my dad asked why Tyler was briefing him... honestly, I have no idea. I said, "Apparently Ty's good at what he does..."
We hung out in the pool and chatted until he went to go check out the FIFA women's game for a bit and I swam laps. Then he came out for another hour and a half and we chatted more. At 1700 we got out and came inside. I played on the computer for a little bit, then showered. It was 1745 and I was bored, but ready for dinner. I began heating up the tortilla soup mom had prepared for dinner. She eventually came in and helped me get everything ready to eat.
It was so spicy! I had to have two small glasses of milk... and needless to say, I was a bit sweaty-ish, too. Then dad got some ice cream and I was stuck making chocolate chip cookies. I am not sure why, but mom wanted to use the recipe on the bag of chocolate chips, which was an HEB generic recipe. We made it in a pie, but it was like an inch thick, so it took forever to bake and it was so totally bland and flavorless it was insane. I remembered why I never make chocolate chip cookies... they just have no flavor and are so boring.
Mom and dad eventually joined me in the living room and we watched What Women Want and then we watched something I'd recorded called Elephant Man Autopsy. It was a very fascinating show.
I came back to my room about an hour ago and have been emailing Lisa, my key caller. I'm sweaty-ish again and my back aches. I have my next/last OB appointment at 0830, which means I have to leave at 0745 to get there with traffic. Bleh... early :(
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Day 43: Full
I'll make it quick because I just feel so full that I could puke. I can't even breathe cause there's not enough room for air, food, and a baby in my torso.
Went to run errands with mom today. Mailed b-day cards to Grammie. Stopped by Breed & Co, but didn't get anything. Went to Buy Buy Baby and picked up another diaper bag to exchange the wipe case, look at stuffed animals, and bottle warmers. Then went to Schlotzsky's and had half a personal-sized pizza. Stopped by Toys R Us on the way home to check out their stuffed animals and found one I loved, plus a pool for Puck. I think the chick is a great size and will be perfect to use as a size comparison with my chick.
I've placed it next to (a very sleepy) Puck for a size comparison. As you can see... it's huge! I love it and it's so soft. I guess I'll have to decide what gender it should be and pick out a clever name. Nelena's lion for Asher is named "Roarbert," not that she picked that name, but it's about the level of genius on which I need to play. Feel free to share any fabulous ideas or epiphanies.
Puck is making a silly face, so here's the first one I took, though I wasn't sure if placing the chick behind Puck would distort the size comparison... I think it does a bit.
Anyway, before we could come home, we had to go by HEB for milk and a few other essentials. Needless to say, by the time we got home, I was exhausted.
I went into my room to lay down and rest my body for a bit. Puck was kind enough to bring in his new toy and bang it around, so I was surprised when I woke up after a two hour nap. Puck was laying in the bed and both my parents were out in the pool.
After a bit, they went to dinner and to see a movie and I stayed here and watched SYTYCD and Royal Pains. Then I watched Monsters, Inc. because nothing else was on.
Once they got home, my folks wanted to watch a show they had recorded that I didn't care about, so I came in to my room. I read and responded to our neighbor's email and emailed Ty with how incredibly angry I am with this stupid man.
My parents try to keep me calm, so I don't stress out the baby more. I think they know I'm in a "delicate" situation and could lose my cool at any moment... :) heh
I did get to chat with Ty today and it was lovely. I also had a dream I saw him. I was in a car or something and noticed he was next to me, so I kissed his cheek. Then I realized he was with me and one kiss wasn't enough, so I kept kissing his face and head over and over. I wish it had been real. I miss kissing my crepes. Poor Puck gets inundated by my kisses cause I love him most... second to Ty.
Went to run errands with mom today. Mailed b-day cards to Grammie. Stopped by Breed & Co, but didn't get anything. Went to Buy Buy Baby and picked up another diaper bag to exchange the wipe case, look at stuffed animals, and bottle warmers. Then went to Schlotzsky's and had half a personal-sized pizza. Stopped by Toys R Us on the way home to check out their stuffed animals and found one I loved, plus a pool for Puck. I think the chick is a great size and will be perfect to use as a size comparison with my chick.
I've placed it next to (a very sleepy) Puck for a size comparison. As you can see... it's huge! I love it and it's so soft. I guess I'll have to decide what gender it should be and pick out a clever name. Nelena's lion for Asher is named "Roarbert," not that she picked that name, but it's about the level of genius on which I need to play. Feel free to share any fabulous ideas or epiphanies.
Puck is making a silly face, so here's the first one I took, though I wasn't sure if placing the chick behind Puck would distort the size comparison... I think it does a bit.
Anyway, before we could come home, we had to go by HEB for milk and a few other essentials. Needless to say, by the time we got home, I was exhausted.
I went into my room to lay down and rest my body for a bit. Puck was kind enough to bring in his new toy and bang it around, so I was surprised when I woke up after a two hour nap. Puck was laying in the bed and both my parents were out in the pool.
After a bit, they went to dinner and to see a movie and I stayed here and watched SYTYCD and Royal Pains. Then I watched Monsters, Inc. because nothing else was on.
Once they got home, my folks wanted to watch a show they had recorded that I didn't care about, so I came in to my room. I read and responded to our neighbor's email and emailed Ty with how incredibly angry I am with this stupid man.
My parents try to keep me calm, so I don't stress out the baby more. I think they know I'm in a "delicate" situation and could lose my cool at any moment... :) heh
I did get to chat with Ty today and it was lovely. I also had a dream I saw him. I was in a car or something and noticed he was next to me, so I kissed his cheek. Then I realized he was with me and one kiss wasn't enough, so I kept kissing his face and head over and over. I wish it had been real. I miss kissing my crepes. Poor Puck gets inundated by my kisses cause I love him most... second to Ty.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Day 42: A Bit Stressy
Guess what?! I was procrastinating sleeping last night and got on Skype just to look and Tyler was on! It was crazy. We got to chat for a bit and I was so glad to see his words. Turns out he fell asleep trying to get the net to work yesterday and didn't set his alarm, so he slept til 1000! Oops! Luckily, he didn't miss anything and I think he really needed the sleep... obviously, if he didn't wake up til 1000! Unfortunately, it was late for me and when he went to wash his face and use the restroom, I got sleepy and dozed, which made talking when he got back quite difficult. I had to let him go, so I could sleep. I did sleep much easier knowing that I got to chat with him... doesn't mean I didn't wake up every 30 minutes for the next few hours though!
My mom woke me up at 0800 telling me I didn't email her questions for the OB. I said I didn't email her because I didn't know what to say. We talked and discussed how we basically don't understand Dr. A's plan for me. Does she want to induce me next week or no? A low Bishop score means I wouldn't do well with induction and would be 50-60% likely to need a CS. If I could have permanent damage to my spine, why doesn't that constitute a medical necessity for a CS?
I called and left a message for the triage nurse. Then I laid in bed for a little bit before the nurse called me back. She told me that Dr. A didn't write anything down about concerns, except for anesthesia, which I'd taken care of... that though she's gone, Dr. K will do whatever Dr. A had planned. She, the nurse, didn't know anything about spines -- just babies -- but she did recommend I see my spine doctor. It was the most unhelpful conversation ever. I was totally stressed and mildly panicky after hanging up.
I called the place and rescheduled my appointment... from Thursday at 1600 to Monday at 0830. I didn't want to go an entire week not knowing what the plan for me was. I then checked my email and got one from Ty from the neighbor guy that mows our yard. He made no freakin sense at all! Apparently when I asked him how he wanted me to make out the check, he must've thought it would be a novelty check... now makes sense why it was never cashed. However, now we owe them money. He mentioned cutting the yard FOUR times in June and already TWICE as of 13 July!
I emailed him and said that I wanted the yard mowed twice a month. It doesn't matter if it gets long -- it should. I was watering less. I fixed the sprinkler problem in the backyard -- I'm pretty damn sure he messed up the faucet and timer that were back there. Then I asked what I owed him for June and July, but that August it needed to only be cut TWICE because that is what I budgeted for, not $100. Plus, he mentioned something about if I'm not happy, then I can use a company, but I'm gonna have a baby any freaking day now... I don't have time to go find people to mow my yard and then drive down to put a check where they can find it... Sheesh, man, don't be such an idiot. I was irritated, so I casually mentioned my slaughtered solar light.
By this point, there was no going back to sleep, so I got up and got dressed. I discussed the having-a-baby thing with my mom for a bit. I'm totally pissed that they would wait until I'm 38 1/2 weeks to mention that I should be seeing a spine doctor, too. Uh, you think you could have mentioned that when I came to see you TWO MONTHS ago and discussed my concerns with my back?! I called my regular doctor, but she only had one opening today, at a time I couldn't make, so I'd have to see her Monday, then wait for the referral to be processed, THEN wait for an opening to see the spine doctor who would only be able to look at my original x-rays and possibly some from last year to guess as to what having a child might do to my back! Stressed yet? I am.
A spine doctor would need to see what is going on NOW with my back, but that can't be done with a baby in the belly. The OBs know zip about spines, but their only concern is the baby, anyway. I want to say, "I'm glad you're concerned with the baby, but how great is it going to do if it f's up my back during delivery and I can't get around after? Not so well, I imagine. Now, someone needs to be concerned with ME!"
This is just too much and too hard to deal with while Ty is gone.
I decided just to wait and talk with Dr. K on Monday and stress my concern and how everyone is so nonchalant about it all. I had some Cheerios, then came back to get my rooms ready for the maids to clean. After I finished, I laid down on my bed to try to relax before Dad and I went to the movies.
We decided to go at 1130 because we didn't know when to show up for a matinee 3D showing of HP7 Part 2 at a new theater where not too many people see movies. We checked when we got there and the theater was open, but no one was there... we were a bit over an hour early. We went to find a directory to see where Jamba Jucie was, so I could get a smoothie, but it was not in walking distance, so we went back to the theater where my dad said he'd buy me a concession.
After MUCH deliberation, I decided on a large Icee -- swirled cherry Fanta and Coca-Cola. My dad got one, too! I was surprised. I went to the bathroom and he waited for our drinks. We got great seats in the theater and just chatted until the trivia came on, then "The 20," then finally, the previews. I was worried Ty would text or something while I was in the movie, even though I told him I'd be unavailable, because he sent me an email at 1117 saying he was headed home and would be online soon. It was about two hours later that he got online (during the movie), so I said goodnight to him.
HP7 P2 was awesome and phenomenal in 3D, but near the end I had to pee so bad that it was making my back hurt even worse! I finally found a time to go and was pleased to see our theater right next to the restrooms. I was gone maybe a minute and a half. It was a great break for my bladder and back.
Once home, I convinced my mom not to run errands because it was about to be traffic time and wouldn't be fun. I said I'd go with her tomorrow. As we were just waiting around until dinner time, I put in my Netflix movie, Burlesque, which was decent, though my room got hot as Hell because of the tv. We eventually brought the tower fan back in to help cool it off.
When the movie finished, we headed out to Torchy's Tacos for dinner. It was alright, but not my favorite. Then we hit up Redbox on the way home and mom bought ice cream, too. Once home, we watched Red, yes, this was my THIRD movie today. It was a good movie -- I quite enjoyed it. After, we watched Suits, then I came to bed.
Now Ty is texting me, so I think I'll go.
My mom woke me up at 0800 telling me I didn't email her questions for the OB. I said I didn't email her because I didn't know what to say. We talked and discussed how we basically don't understand Dr. A's plan for me. Does she want to induce me next week or no? A low Bishop score means I wouldn't do well with induction and would be 50-60% likely to need a CS. If I could have permanent damage to my spine, why doesn't that constitute a medical necessity for a CS?
I called and left a message for the triage nurse. Then I laid in bed for a little bit before the nurse called me back. She told me that Dr. A didn't write anything down about concerns, except for anesthesia, which I'd taken care of... that though she's gone, Dr. K will do whatever Dr. A had planned. She, the nurse, didn't know anything about spines -- just babies -- but she did recommend I see my spine doctor. It was the most unhelpful conversation ever. I was totally stressed and mildly panicky after hanging up.
I called the place and rescheduled my appointment... from Thursday at 1600 to Monday at 0830. I didn't want to go an entire week not knowing what the plan for me was. I then checked my email and got one from Ty from the neighbor guy that mows our yard. He made no freakin sense at all! Apparently when I asked him how he wanted me to make out the check, he must've thought it would be a novelty check... now makes sense why it was never cashed. However, now we owe them money. He mentioned cutting the yard FOUR times in June and already TWICE as of 13 July!
I emailed him and said that I wanted the yard mowed twice a month. It doesn't matter if it gets long -- it should. I was watering less. I fixed the sprinkler problem in the backyard -- I'm pretty damn sure he messed up the faucet and timer that were back there. Then I asked what I owed him for June and July, but that August it needed to only be cut TWICE because that is what I budgeted for, not $100. Plus, he mentioned something about if I'm not happy, then I can use a company, but I'm gonna have a baby any freaking day now... I don't have time to go find people to mow my yard and then drive down to put a check where they can find it... Sheesh, man, don't be such an idiot. I was irritated, so I casually mentioned my slaughtered solar light.
By this point, there was no going back to sleep, so I got up and got dressed. I discussed the having-a-baby thing with my mom for a bit. I'm totally pissed that they would wait until I'm 38 1/2 weeks to mention that I should be seeing a spine doctor, too. Uh, you think you could have mentioned that when I came to see you TWO MONTHS ago and discussed my concerns with my back?! I called my regular doctor, but she only had one opening today, at a time I couldn't make, so I'd have to see her Monday, then wait for the referral to be processed, THEN wait for an opening to see the spine doctor who would only be able to look at my original x-rays and possibly some from last year to guess as to what having a child might do to my back! Stressed yet? I am.
A spine doctor would need to see what is going on NOW with my back, but that can't be done with a baby in the belly. The OBs know zip about spines, but their only concern is the baby, anyway. I want to say, "I'm glad you're concerned with the baby, but how great is it going to do if it f's up my back during delivery and I can't get around after? Not so well, I imagine. Now, someone needs to be concerned with ME!"
This is just too much and too hard to deal with while Ty is gone.
I decided just to wait and talk with Dr. K on Monday and stress my concern and how everyone is so nonchalant about it all. I had some Cheerios, then came back to get my rooms ready for the maids to clean. After I finished, I laid down on my bed to try to relax before Dad and I went to the movies.
We decided to go at 1130 because we didn't know when to show up for a matinee 3D showing of HP7 Part 2 at a new theater where not too many people see movies. We checked when we got there and the theater was open, but no one was there... we were a bit over an hour early. We went to find a directory to see where Jamba Jucie was, so I could get a smoothie, but it was not in walking distance, so we went back to the theater where my dad said he'd buy me a concession.
After MUCH deliberation, I decided on a large Icee -- swirled cherry Fanta and Coca-Cola. My dad got one, too! I was surprised. I went to the bathroom and he waited for our drinks. We got great seats in the theater and just chatted until the trivia came on, then "The 20," then finally, the previews. I was worried Ty would text or something while I was in the movie, even though I told him I'd be unavailable, because he sent me an email at 1117 saying he was headed home and would be online soon. It was about two hours later that he got online (during the movie), so I said goodnight to him.
HP7 P2 was awesome and phenomenal in 3D, but near the end I had to pee so bad that it was making my back hurt even worse! I finally found a time to go and was pleased to see our theater right next to the restrooms. I was gone maybe a minute and a half. It was a great break for my bladder and back.
Once home, I convinced my mom not to run errands because it was about to be traffic time and wouldn't be fun. I said I'd go with her tomorrow. As we were just waiting around until dinner time, I put in my Netflix movie, Burlesque, which was decent, though my room got hot as Hell because of the tv. We eventually brought the tower fan back in to help cool it off.
When the movie finished, we headed out to Torchy's Tacos for dinner. It was alright, but not my favorite. Then we hit up Redbox on the way home and mom bought ice cream, too. Once home, we watched Red, yes, this was my THIRD movie today. It was a good movie -- I quite enjoyed it. After, we watched Suits, then I came to bed.
Now Ty is texting me, so I think I'll go.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Day 41: The Pain is Unbelievable
I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow to see if Dr. K has anything sooner next week. We're also going to call Dr. A's nurse and ask her some questions to clarify because we decided we really don't understand what she said.
My concern is, of course, my back. If this baby can cause permanent damage, then doesn't that constitute as a medical necessity for a C-Section? I really can't afford to have MORE permanent damage to my back.
Why would she want to induce, if I am low on the Bishop scale and thus more likely to need a CS if I were to be induced?
How do they know my due date is the 27th? I know they judged by the size of the fetus, but my baby is on the "small" side of things, anyway... and I could swear my period should have been on the 15th of October. Does it make a difference if they're a week or two off?
I'm in so much pain with my back. I can't walk, sit, stand, or lie down without it feeling like my bones are just going to break apart. I've not had to just "deal with" back pain in ages... especially not this severe and where I've had surgery. Previous back pain (in England) that I "dealt with" felt more muscular, this feels straight up like my bones are being ruined as the hours tick by. It makes me want to take a zanaflex soooooo bad because it's not helpful enough to just cry. Crying doesn't make the pain go away.
As far as a CS goes, I am not sure that I have a preference as to how this baby comes out... I think a CS would be less damaging to my back, but not as "good" for the baby. With CS, we could skype before and after, but, obviously you wouldn't be able to see them performing it -- I think I'd be in another room... but we'd have more of a scheduled time to skype and there'd be less of a chance of Ty missing it. But with a VD, if I got ahold of Ty, then he'd be there through the delivery. I am almost 100% sure that if I did a VD, then I would never have another kid again just due to the stress it puts on my back.
I spent FIVE HOURS doing FRG emails and fixing rosters. I can't believe this is a "volunteer" position. Considering I can't sit in any position for longer than 60 seconds, I feel like I should get paid when sitting for five hours. Kastl is the best Co-Leader. I love her and am so thankful she's helping. Her husband needs to know how much easier and more better-fied that woman is making my life. Yay Kastls!!
I took a nap while waiting to see if Ty's internet would come back on... it didn't. I tried getting in the pool. I was just as uncomfortable there. I installed my shower head in my shower, so that' a plus... Oh yeah -- the whole "hot bath" thing was a terrible idea. It's so painful to lay on a hard surface and it's even harder to get up! I didn't even want to hunt for Benadryl after that ordeal.
I showered with my improved shower and then watched two episodes of Royal Pains on my parents' computer because it's bigger than mine.
We watched SYTYCD from last night and Covert Affairs from Tuesday, then I came to my room. Mom gave me a back rub, then I sat down on the floor to write Ty an email. I have to rock side to side to prevent the pain from shooting down my legs, but nothing is preventing it from giving me a splitting headache. I think I should go to sleep because I am miserable.
So miserable. I miss Ty and want to talk to him so bad and hear his voice... it at least helps lower the intensity of the pain because my mind is occupied...
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Day 40: What?!
Same morning routine as every other day: wake up, take out Puck, feed him, go back to sleep. Wake up again, get ready, give Puck rest of his breakfast, then go into kitchen. Puck was bored of our routine and decided to not eat his first bit of food, then throw it up when he decided to eat it at 1000. I took him out and he seemed ok, then he slowly ate the rest of his food later in the morning. Oh yeah, I also showered this morning... maybe that's what messed up Puck's routine...
Mom left at 1145 to go to lunch with friends. I worked on the posters... Pre-coloring, they look like this:
I've done a good job, if I do say so, myself.
Dad asked me to help him install the new airport extreme. It took about 15 minutes longer than the 2 it should have taken. Every step had to be discussed and explained. He knows I'm good with electronics to a certain degree; he knows it's because I figure it out; he wants explanations there's no way I can give because he knows I don't know them. It's good fun.
He went to get some stain for the deck and I kept coloring. I had some corn pops for lunch and set my alarm for when I needed to get ready for the doctor. Left for the doctor at 1420 -- for a 1445 appt -- arrived at 1437 and waited until 1545 to be called back. RIDICULOUS. I don't even know what to say at that point. I didn't say, "It's ok," whenever anyone apologized because it's not ok to make people wait that long!
Anyway, I'm still 1cm, still 50% effaced. Still making zero progress. I've been the same for the past three appointments. She said I am a 3 on the Bishop Scale, which means if I have to be induced, there's a 50-60% chance of my needing a C-section. Not great news, since she said if I am still not making progress at next week's appointment, then she may induce me the following day (Friday). She said she definitely doesn't want me going past my due date.
She also said that pregnancy and labor can cause permanent damage to a woman's back. She was so casual when she said it and I wanted to yell, "Then get this baby outta me -- my back can't handle more damage!" I think if I'm screaming bloody murder in delivery because my spine is shattering, then they'll take me seriously, but it'll really be too late by then.
The pelvic exam hurt like the freakin dickens. She pushed on the baby's head... and determined that I'm just not progressing. Luckily, pelvic exams lean toward contractions and terribly excruciating spinal pains -- yay!
Anyway, the rest of the day was me hobbling around and trying to not die from the pains. We watched Hall Pall after dinner and I thought two things. 1: this movie is pretty graphic and mostly about sex... awkward. 2: I would never give Tyler a hall pass -- he's entirely too handsome, could get whomever he wanted, and undoubtedly hasn't forgotten how to pick up chicks!
I am going to try the doctor's suggestion: take a very hot bath and a benadryl right before bed.
Adios.
Mom left at 1145 to go to lunch with friends. I worked on the posters... Pre-coloring, they look like this:
I've done a good job, if I do say so, myself.
Dad asked me to help him install the new airport extreme. It took about 15 minutes longer than the 2 it should have taken. Every step had to be discussed and explained. He knows I'm good with electronics to a certain degree; he knows it's because I figure it out; he wants explanations there's no way I can give because he knows I don't know them. It's good fun.
He went to get some stain for the deck and I kept coloring. I had some corn pops for lunch and set my alarm for when I needed to get ready for the doctor. Left for the doctor at 1420 -- for a 1445 appt -- arrived at 1437 and waited until 1545 to be called back. RIDICULOUS. I don't even know what to say at that point. I didn't say, "It's ok," whenever anyone apologized because it's not ok to make people wait that long!
Anyway, I'm still 1cm, still 50% effaced. Still making zero progress. I've been the same for the past three appointments. She said I am a 3 on the Bishop Scale, which means if I have to be induced, there's a 50-60% chance of my needing a C-section. Not great news, since she said if I am still not making progress at next week's appointment, then she may induce me the following day (Friday). She said she definitely doesn't want me going past my due date.
She also said that pregnancy and labor can cause permanent damage to a woman's back. She was so casual when she said it and I wanted to yell, "Then get this baby outta me -- my back can't handle more damage!" I think if I'm screaming bloody murder in delivery because my spine is shattering, then they'll take me seriously, but it'll really be too late by then.
The pelvic exam hurt like the freakin dickens. She pushed on the baby's head... and determined that I'm just not progressing. Luckily, pelvic exams lean toward contractions and terribly excruciating spinal pains -- yay!
Anyway, the rest of the day was me hobbling around and trying to not die from the pains. We watched Hall Pall after dinner and I thought two things. 1: this movie is pretty graphic and mostly about sex... awkward. 2: I would never give Tyler a hall pass -- he's entirely too handsome, could get whomever he wanted, and undoubtedly hasn't forgotten how to pick up chicks!
I am going to try the doctor's suggestion: take a very hot bath and a benadryl right before bed.
Adios.
Day 39: Tired
I found my boat shoes today... in Heights. Yes, I made my mom drive all the way up there with me just to look for them. When I get preoccupied with something, I just have to follow through.
As we were getting home I got a text from Tyler. I texted back, but like normal, I didn't hear anything. Then as I pulled into the driveway, I got another text, but it was like 4 texts, so I jumped out of the car and left the driving/maneuvering up to my parents. I knew it was late for Tyler to be up, I figured he was exhausted, and I didn't think he'd have time/energy to chat more than a minute... if the net held up.
I jumped on my laptop, since I could tell he was on his computer. We chatted about the same ol' good stuff for a bit. But MY wifi pooped out for a minute, which prompted me to sit in the office with my laptop. It came back and we were able to continue our conversation.
It ended without him saying he loved me and signing off faster than I thought, so I didn't get to say it either. Obviously he was upset, but sometimes I want to have a conversation that is meaningful. I mean they're ALL meaningful and wonderful, but sometimes there's important things to discuss that can't wait a year and I hate emailing because it's not a conversation, but monologues back and forth.
I know he's stressed, but he'll tell me he's not, even if he's just emailed me earlier saying he's stressed to his limit and burned out. His commander wants him to pace himself, but the only pace he knows is 150%. He's going to get burned out and surly and moody, but his guys will never notice because I know he'll just show me that side, but if I say anything, then he will shut me out and just talk to his dad or a buddy. Then what purpose do I even serve? At least now he thinks of me as a calming zen to bring him back to center. But I'm only calming because I don't discuss matters of much importance.
It's hard to have a solid marriage if you have to go a full year discussing only weather and food or other similar topics. I also want to talk now because I know as soon as I have this baby that there will not be a whole lot of talking or discussions of any type. It takes two hands to breastfeed, plus boobs. I'll be on a terrible schedule... not nights, not days, just 2.5 hour increments. I'll be exhausted and undoubtedly miss texts or calls because I'll be busy with the baby, sleeping, or have just left my phone somewhere and probably on vibrate so the noise doesn't wake the baby.
It'll be like when I started working from being on summer break... but worse. Then I could at least always have the computer on/near me and find a moment to chat. Regardless of anything, I just felt beat down and like poo after Ty went to sleep today.
Caution: Whingeing ahead...
I came into my room and was just tired. I am tired of feeling like 3rd place. It's strange because I hear how much he says he thinks of me and how much he loves me, but at the same time, I know if he had the CHOCIE to deploy or not, that he'd go. I know he works his ass off for his guys, the company, and the battalion/brigade and I feel that it comes at the expense of our family. I know he says he works hard for us, but there comes a point where working 100x harder than necessary no longer yields the benefits that the efforts take. Eventually, I'm left with tired, hungry, stressed, and irritable Tyler, as everyone/everything else has taken the optimism, happiness, humor, and light from him. Plus, there is no way to put that much effort and love into something and still have enough left to do what he wants to do for me. I don't want much -- I just want a calm, happy, relaxed, and genuine Tyler (not Ty who pretends to be calm/happy/relaxed). I want to laugh with him and not have him stressed and peevish.
I'm tired of the communication problems. Both being unable to discuss things of eventual significance, as well as internet and connection issues. I think it'd be better to go to AL for the CCC because we'd have more money, it's a lower cost of living, he'll be able to unwind more, he'll hopefully have free time where he can see me and the baby (and his friends). Whereas, if we were in VA, he'd be studying more, the cost of living is higher, we'd make less money, he'd have less time to spend with us, but we'd be closer to his folks and he may get more out of the course. It also depends on when both begin. Would we have to spend months in TX waiting for them to pick someone to replace Tyler and screw us over on a course date... again?
I'm tired of having to guess and assume all the time because I can't ask; I can't get an answer; I can't get in touch; I'm just not allowed to know; I am ignored.
I'm tired of pretending to be a good army wife. I'm not a good army wife. I'm a cantankerous army wife and I hate inefficiency and when stuff is wrong, then I have to spend time trying to get it fixed, but am totally ignored. But if I don't try, then I get "in trouble." I hate knowing that Ty's future position could actually be determined by how compliant and obedient I am. I am neither compliant or obedient and it's like part of my job description to be both, regardless of what my job is!
I'm tired of feeling alone. I wish I could count the awake hours that I get to spend with Tyler in a non-deployed year. Granted, it's more than this year, but it's still not many. I can see the benefit of sending him off for weeks of training in a position he won't even have while deployed.... sarcasm.
I'm tired of him never actually having time off. He'll be on vacation, but still takes calls, still makes calls, still is there to do whatever needs to be done. There is supposed to be someone who does that for him so he can have vacation. I don't know if they don't do it or if he doesn't trust anyone to do it or he just likes to do it, but it ties back in with my feeling alone and being 3rd place. Things may be messed up when he gets back, but he can teach someone how to fix it and make them do it. He should use his people and make them learn how to do their jobs because he don't get paid enough to do everyone's. He learned because he was forced to do it and do it right. If it messes up, then he'll get told off and he can go tell off his screw-up, so they learn from their mistake. I don't like feeling like I'm not important enough to put down the phone. It's like I'm so boring that on the years that he can't escape me, he has to be entertained by other things/people and me. I feel very inadequate.
I'm tired of being told not to stress or worry. I can't help it. It's in my nature. I think about everything. I try not to think about things too far in the future anymore because there's always some hoop to jump through or some wall to get in my way and I learned that I can't plan on anything in the army. I guarantee 1st Cav won't get two years home before deploying again. They said that last time. They said we'd go to the career course. They said they wouldn't have Ty take over A Co. But NONE of it was true. They deployed after one year. Ty didn't go to the career course. Ty is commander of A Co.
I'm tired of not feeling married. I'm 28 and about to have a child and I'm living with my parents! How much more of a delinquent teenager can I be? I'm on my third year of marriage and I've been with my husband for 10 1/2 months. I have to spend every other year getting to know him and figuring out what, if anything, is different and how to best react/respond. I can't even imagine what it's like for him. It's like I've adopted a child while he's away and he has to jump into a role of "father of a one year old." No, he doesn't get to watch the videos of her "firsts" because there's not time. No, he can't decide on how to do anything because his wife already had to do that while he was gone. No, they'll probably both get fussy if he tries to change their routine. He steps back and thinks, "My, isn't she self-sufficient?! I'm so impressed." Until he starts to feel like we don't need him.
I'm tired of wondering if making a military relationship work is just giving up. Do I give up my hopes/dreams, opinions/thoughts, sense of who I am? Does he give up his desire to succeed, his sense of self, hopes/dreams, opinions/thoughts? Sadly, it makes sense why it's so hard for military relationships to succeed. The soldier becomes addicted to war and the relationship with his guys, while the wife becomes more independent and they wonder why the other person is even there. He doesn't need me because there's no way I can be what he needs and he can't be what I need because I need someone to be here, need me, want me, love me, and show me.
I wonder if he truly thinks about me often or just when he gets back to his tent before bed. Does he feel obligated to talk to me? Does he listen to what I say or is the drone of my voice soothing? Does he truly need me? Does he think about what he'd do if something happened to me? Does he wish things were different? Does he think of ways to show me I'm not 3rd, not alone, am married, that I do matter, that I will stress, that our relationship will work?
Every time he deploys and leaves, my life is on hold. It's on hold regardless of what he says or where he is. It's on hold because I don't want to live life fully without him. It's on hold because I love him more than anything, which is why I settle for being 3rd, feeling alone, like I don't matter and am not married. But these feelings compound and amplify every time he leaves and eventually I won't be able to keep them from crushing me and becoming some empty drone of a person. Is there truly a way he can show me that I mean something to him and that he can't live without me? Not that I'm aware of...
I show my love and that he's my number one by feeling what I do... by being his number 3... by talking about weather, food, and what I can send him... by making sure he knows that I will wait faithfully and patiently year after year for him, regardless of how it all makes me feel.
I just hope he is willing to stay forever married to his eventually burned out, empty wife who has to feel nothing to protect herself from feeling too much.
I don't blame him for it (save for the love of deploying -- that's 100% his fault), but because he's a male, he never tells me what he feels. Saying "I love you" eventually feels rote and less meaningful when that's the only "feeling" he ever expresses or it's said with no context. There needs to be another phrase to use during those mindless times, so "I love you" can gain back some heart and credibility. Again, not his fault. I do it, too. When there's not much you can say, you just say the one thing left and you have to leave it at that... I love you.
I don't want him to feel guilty or bad if he reads this. But I have to get out my thoughts so they stop eating away at my brain. And perhaps, since we can't talk about these things, then he'll be able to think about my monologue without pressure to respond, as in email. As I said, it's not his fault and there seems to be nothing he can do... it's just a cycle in which we're destined to be and he needn't be caught unaware.
As we were getting home I got a text from Tyler. I texted back, but like normal, I didn't hear anything. Then as I pulled into the driveway, I got another text, but it was like 4 texts, so I jumped out of the car and left the driving/maneuvering up to my parents. I knew it was late for Tyler to be up, I figured he was exhausted, and I didn't think he'd have time/energy to chat more than a minute... if the net held up.
I jumped on my laptop, since I could tell he was on his computer. We chatted about the same ol' good stuff for a bit. But MY wifi pooped out for a minute, which prompted me to sit in the office with my laptop. It came back and we were able to continue our conversation.
It ended without him saying he loved me and signing off faster than I thought, so I didn't get to say it either. Obviously he was upset, but sometimes I want to have a conversation that is meaningful. I mean they're ALL meaningful and wonderful, but sometimes there's important things to discuss that can't wait a year and I hate emailing because it's not a conversation, but monologues back and forth.
I know he's stressed, but he'll tell me he's not, even if he's just emailed me earlier saying he's stressed to his limit and burned out. His commander wants him to pace himself, but the only pace he knows is 150%. He's going to get burned out and surly and moody, but his guys will never notice because I know he'll just show me that side, but if I say anything, then he will shut me out and just talk to his dad or a buddy. Then what purpose do I even serve? At least now he thinks of me as a calming zen to bring him back to center. But I'm only calming because I don't discuss matters of much importance.
It's hard to have a solid marriage if you have to go a full year discussing only weather and food or other similar topics. I also want to talk now because I know as soon as I have this baby that there will not be a whole lot of talking or discussions of any type. It takes two hands to breastfeed, plus boobs. I'll be on a terrible schedule... not nights, not days, just 2.5 hour increments. I'll be exhausted and undoubtedly miss texts or calls because I'll be busy with the baby, sleeping, or have just left my phone somewhere and probably on vibrate so the noise doesn't wake the baby.
It'll be like when I started working from being on summer break... but worse. Then I could at least always have the computer on/near me and find a moment to chat. Regardless of anything, I just felt beat down and like poo after Ty went to sleep today.
Caution: Whingeing ahead...
I came into my room and was just tired. I am tired of feeling like 3rd place. It's strange because I hear how much he says he thinks of me and how much he loves me, but at the same time, I know if he had the CHOCIE to deploy or not, that he'd go. I know he works his ass off for his guys, the company, and the battalion/brigade and I feel that it comes at the expense of our family. I know he says he works hard for us, but there comes a point where working 100x harder than necessary no longer yields the benefits that the efforts take. Eventually, I'm left with tired, hungry, stressed, and irritable Tyler, as everyone/everything else has taken the optimism, happiness, humor, and light from him. Plus, there is no way to put that much effort and love into something and still have enough left to do what he wants to do for me. I don't want much -- I just want a calm, happy, relaxed, and genuine Tyler (not Ty who pretends to be calm/happy/relaxed). I want to laugh with him and not have him stressed and peevish.
I'm tired of the communication problems. Both being unable to discuss things of eventual significance, as well as internet and connection issues. I think it'd be better to go to AL for the CCC because we'd have more money, it's a lower cost of living, he'll be able to unwind more, he'll hopefully have free time where he can see me and the baby (and his friends). Whereas, if we were in VA, he'd be studying more, the cost of living is higher, we'd make less money, he'd have less time to spend with us, but we'd be closer to his folks and he may get more out of the course. It also depends on when both begin. Would we have to spend months in TX waiting for them to pick someone to replace Tyler and screw us over on a course date... again?
I'm tired of having to guess and assume all the time because I can't ask; I can't get an answer; I can't get in touch; I'm just not allowed to know; I am ignored.
I'm tired of pretending to be a good army wife. I'm not a good army wife. I'm a cantankerous army wife and I hate inefficiency and when stuff is wrong, then I have to spend time trying to get it fixed, but am totally ignored. But if I don't try, then I get "in trouble." I hate knowing that Ty's future position could actually be determined by how compliant and obedient I am. I am neither compliant or obedient and it's like part of my job description to be both, regardless of what my job is!
I'm tired of feeling alone. I wish I could count the awake hours that I get to spend with Tyler in a non-deployed year. Granted, it's more than this year, but it's still not many. I can see the benefit of sending him off for weeks of training in a position he won't even have while deployed.... sarcasm.
I'm tired of him never actually having time off. He'll be on vacation, but still takes calls, still makes calls, still is there to do whatever needs to be done. There is supposed to be someone who does that for him so he can have vacation. I don't know if they don't do it or if he doesn't trust anyone to do it or he just likes to do it, but it ties back in with my feeling alone and being 3rd place. Things may be messed up when he gets back, but he can teach someone how to fix it and make them do it. He should use his people and make them learn how to do their jobs because he don't get paid enough to do everyone's. He learned because he was forced to do it and do it right. If it messes up, then he'll get told off and he can go tell off his screw-up, so they learn from their mistake. I don't like feeling like I'm not important enough to put down the phone. It's like I'm so boring that on the years that he can't escape me, he has to be entertained by other things/people and me. I feel very inadequate.
I'm tired of being told not to stress or worry. I can't help it. It's in my nature. I think about everything. I try not to think about things too far in the future anymore because there's always some hoop to jump through or some wall to get in my way and I learned that I can't plan on anything in the army. I guarantee 1st Cav won't get two years home before deploying again. They said that last time. They said we'd go to the career course. They said they wouldn't have Ty take over A Co. But NONE of it was true. They deployed after one year. Ty didn't go to the career course. Ty is commander of A Co.
I'm tired of not feeling married. I'm 28 and about to have a child and I'm living with my parents! How much more of a delinquent teenager can I be? I'm on my third year of marriage and I've been with my husband for 10 1/2 months. I have to spend every other year getting to know him and figuring out what, if anything, is different and how to best react/respond. I can't even imagine what it's like for him. It's like I've adopted a child while he's away and he has to jump into a role of "father of a one year old." No, he doesn't get to watch the videos of her "firsts" because there's not time. No, he can't decide on how to do anything because his wife already had to do that while he was gone. No, they'll probably both get fussy if he tries to change their routine. He steps back and thinks, "My, isn't she self-sufficient?! I'm so impressed." Until he starts to feel like we don't need him.
I'm tired of wondering if making a military relationship work is just giving up. Do I give up my hopes/dreams, opinions/thoughts, sense of who I am? Does he give up his desire to succeed, his sense of self, hopes/dreams, opinions/thoughts? Sadly, it makes sense why it's so hard for military relationships to succeed. The soldier becomes addicted to war and the relationship with his guys, while the wife becomes more independent and they wonder why the other person is even there. He doesn't need me because there's no way I can be what he needs and he can't be what I need because I need someone to be here, need me, want me, love me, and show me.
I wonder if he truly thinks about me often or just when he gets back to his tent before bed. Does he feel obligated to talk to me? Does he listen to what I say or is the drone of my voice soothing? Does he truly need me? Does he think about what he'd do if something happened to me? Does he wish things were different? Does he think of ways to show me I'm not 3rd, not alone, am married, that I do matter, that I will stress, that our relationship will work?
Every time he deploys and leaves, my life is on hold. It's on hold regardless of what he says or where he is. It's on hold because I don't want to live life fully without him. It's on hold because I love him more than anything, which is why I settle for being 3rd, feeling alone, like I don't matter and am not married. But these feelings compound and amplify every time he leaves and eventually I won't be able to keep them from crushing me and becoming some empty drone of a person. Is there truly a way he can show me that I mean something to him and that he can't live without me? Not that I'm aware of...
I show my love and that he's my number one by feeling what I do... by being his number 3... by talking about weather, food, and what I can send him... by making sure he knows that I will wait faithfully and patiently year after year for him, regardless of how it all makes me feel.
I just hope he is willing to stay forever married to his eventually burned out, empty wife who has to feel nothing to protect herself from feeling too much.
I don't blame him for it (save for the love of deploying -- that's 100% his fault), but because he's a male, he never tells me what he feels. Saying "I love you" eventually feels rote and less meaningful when that's the only "feeling" he ever expresses or it's said with no context. There needs to be another phrase to use during those mindless times, so "I love you" can gain back some heart and credibility. Again, not his fault. I do it, too. When there's not much you can say, you just say the one thing left and you have to leave it at that... I love you.
I don't want him to feel guilty or bad if he reads this. But I have to get out my thoughts so they stop eating away at my brain. And perhaps, since we can't talk about these things, then he'll be able to think about my monologue without pressure to respond, as in email. As I said, it's not his fault and there seems to be nothing he can do... it's just a cycle in which we're destined to be and he needn't be caught unaware.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Day 38: Boring
I woke up at 0730, took Puck out, then gave him his food, which he didn't eat. We went back to bed until 1000. I sat by him while he ate the first half of his food. I decided to go ahead and pour the rest, which he ate some of... all at a fairly leisurely pace.
As I changed clothes and got ready, Puck apparently tossed his cookies in the hallway, then in the kitchen. Poor guy! My parents only saw the bit in the kitchen, which they cleaned up. However, I saw none of it and didn't know he'd been sick. I took him out to potty and he pooped and peed, like a good boy. It was only when I was walking into the kitchen to get him a treat that I saw the vomit-log in the hallway. I cleaned it up and felt bad for the guy -- I was not sure why he was feeling bad.
I ate breakfast, then my mom said we needed to finish the nursery. We went through the 0-3 month onesies and pulled out the ugly/donated ones, so we wouldn't feel obligated to use them. Then we picked out a secondary going-home-outfit just in case the first didn't look right or fit funny. I was then assigned diaper duty. I organized all the diapers we had into two baskets. Most were newborn size, but some were size 1 -- I'm not sure where those came from...
After that, I had to figure out how to put the diaper genie bags in the diaper genie -- luckily there were instructions on the replacement bags! My mom then handed me the diaper bag and some wipes, so I could fill up the travel wipe case. As the bag was brand new, I had to remove the plastic wrap from the travel wipe case. It was at that point that I notice that the case didn't shut or didn't stay shut. I was very disappointed and frustrated. Now we have to go BACK to Buy Buy Baby and try to exchange it or get one that works. I am so tired of returning crap.
On another note, my mom went shopping today (I didn't want to go anywhere) and she bought me "slippers" that were like terry cloth slippers. When she came home, she said, "I bought you these for the hospital. I think they're cute, but we can take them back to get a color you like." I asked, "Why take them back? Why not just get a color you think I'd like in the first place?" It didn't really matter because they were a size too small, so we HAVE TO go back and exchange them anyway. I genuinely don't think that she realizes how agonizing it is to walk around with this much weight pulling and pushing on my spine in 103ยบ heat!
We eventually finished the nursery, minus the video monitor, as dad was busy outside all day. She wanted to go to Macy's before her friend came over to chat and say hi, so she left me to finish the posters while she went out. I completed the last "real" poster and got out the brand new markers. It was when I did two test stripes on my notepad that I knew the markers wouldn't color well on the poster board. Every line was a great color, but if a second layer of ink touched the first, it became stripey and ugly. Unfortunately, it's impossible to color without overlapping color. I finished the first poster and was so disappointed and thought it was hideous. Mom came home and said it was fine, but I still disagree. It looks terrible and I feel like I wasted all that time even making it now.
Moreover, I was able to receive one word from Tyler today before his net went out. I tried textnow, skype, and heytell, but nothing worked. I even emailed his gmail. I hadn't been feeling great, was upset about the poster, then realized I wouln't get to talk to Ty and it was too much for my emotions and hormones. I took Puck out and cried a bit, but gathered myself together before coming back inside, as I don't want my folks to have to try to talk to me.
Mom went on a cleaning rampage, since Stoney was on her way over and I was in a terrible/sad mood, so I went to my room and passed out. I had to lay sideways on the bed because I didn't want to mess up the pillows and have to fix it all later.
Stoney arrived and chatted with mom. They looked at the nursery -- mom woke me up to chat, too, of course. Then we went to the kitchen and Stoney gave me a baby gift -- four adorable baby books. They are great -- it was nice to have a gift that wasn't clothes or something I needed to return. I am looking forward to reading them with Eisley.
After she left, I decided to start working on dinner. Mom went out to chat with dad, but came in to let me know Puck had gotten sick again. I figured it was his ear, since he'd been flapping a bit, so I asked if she and dad could put solution in them, since I was cooking. They took care of Puck and cleaned out his ear real good. I think he got water in his ears when my dad was helping me bath him with the hose. Dad must've forgotten to keep the hose away from Puck's head -- I was doing my darndest to block them, but it obviously didn't work.
For dinner, we had stromboli and corn. It was good, then I doled out the rest of the dessert I made up yesterday -- it was still too sweet. After I did the dishes, I realized we still had 30 minutes before The Closer started, so I had Dad come move all my rubbermaids so I could go through them and check for my boat shoes. Unfortunately, they were no where to be found! Boooo. Now I have to check all over my house. Wish it weren't so damn far away.
We watched The Closer and Rizzoli & Isles. Both were pretty good. Everyone went to bed early. I see the doctor on Wednesday at 1445, but I need to write in my pregnancy journal about this back pain, so I remember how unimaginably agonizing it really is.
I did get to text with Ty a bit this evening -- I kept waiting until 1945 when I know he should be getting up. Luckily, the net was working, so I got to at least say hi and tell him how much I love and miss him. It made me feel better, too.
As I changed clothes and got ready, Puck apparently tossed his cookies in the hallway, then in the kitchen. Poor guy! My parents only saw the bit in the kitchen, which they cleaned up. However, I saw none of it and didn't know he'd been sick. I took him out to potty and he pooped and peed, like a good boy. It was only when I was walking into the kitchen to get him a treat that I saw the vomit-log in the hallway. I cleaned it up and felt bad for the guy -- I was not sure why he was feeling bad.
I ate breakfast, then my mom said we needed to finish the nursery. We went through the 0-3 month onesies and pulled out the ugly/donated ones, so we wouldn't feel obligated to use them. Then we picked out a secondary going-home-outfit just in case the first didn't look right or fit funny. I was then assigned diaper duty. I organized all the diapers we had into two baskets. Most were newborn size, but some were size 1 -- I'm not sure where those came from...
After that, I had to figure out how to put the diaper genie bags in the diaper genie -- luckily there were instructions on the replacement bags! My mom then handed me the diaper bag and some wipes, so I could fill up the travel wipe case. As the bag was brand new, I had to remove the plastic wrap from the travel wipe case. It was at that point that I notice that the case didn't shut or didn't stay shut. I was very disappointed and frustrated. Now we have to go BACK to Buy Buy Baby and try to exchange it or get one that works. I am so tired of returning crap.
On another note, my mom went shopping today (I didn't want to go anywhere) and she bought me "slippers" that were like terry cloth slippers. When she came home, she said, "I bought you these for the hospital. I think they're cute, but we can take them back to get a color you like." I asked, "Why take them back? Why not just get a color you think I'd like in the first place?" It didn't really matter because they were a size too small, so we HAVE TO go back and exchange them anyway. I genuinely don't think that she realizes how agonizing it is to walk around with this much weight pulling and pushing on my spine in 103ยบ heat!
We eventually finished the nursery, minus the video monitor, as dad was busy outside all day. She wanted to go to Macy's before her friend came over to chat and say hi, so she left me to finish the posters while she went out. I completed the last "real" poster and got out the brand new markers. It was when I did two test stripes on my notepad that I knew the markers wouldn't color well on the poster board. Every line was a great color, but if a second layer of ink touched the first, it became stripey and ugly. Unfortunately, it's impossible to color without overlapping color. I finished the first poster and was so disappointed and thought it was hideous. Mom came home and said it was fine, but I still disagree. It looks terrible and I feel like I wasted all that time even making it now.
Moreover, I was able to receive one word from Tyler today before his net went out. I tried textnow, skype, and heytell, but nothing worked. I even emailed his gmail. I hadn't been feeling great, was upset about the poster, then realized I wouln't get to talk to Ty and it was too much for my emotions and hormones. I took Puck out and cried a bit, but gathered myself together before coming back inside, as I don't want my folks to have to try to talk to me.
Mom went on a cleaning rampage, since Stoney was on her way over and I was in a terrible/sad mood, so I went to my room and passed out. I had to lay sideways on the bed because I didn't want to mess up the pillows and have to fix it all later.
Stoney arrived and chatted with mom. They looked at the nursery -- mom woke me up to chat, too, of course. Then we went to the kitchen and Stoney gave me a baby gift -- four adorable baby books. They are great -- it was nice to have a gift that wasn't clothes or something I needed to return. I am looking forward to reading them with Eisley.
After she left, I decided to start working on dinner. Mom went out to chat with dad, but came in to let me know Puck had gotten sick again. I figured it was his ear, since he'd been flapping a bit, so I asked if she and dad could put solution in them, since I was cooking. They took care of Puck and cleaned out his ear real good. I think he got water in his ears when my dad was helping me bath him with the hose. Dad must've forgotten to keep the hose away from Puck's head -- I was doing my darndest to block them, but it obviously didn't work.
For dinner, we had stromboli and corn. It was good, then I doled out the rest of the dessert I made up yesterday -- it was still too sweet. After I did the dishes, I realized we still had 30 minutes before The Closer started, so I had Dad come move all my rubbermaids so I could go through them and check for my boat shoes. Unfortunately, they were no where to be found! Boooo. Now I have to check all over my house. Wish it weren't so damn far away.
We watched The Closer and Rizzoli & Isles. Both were pretty good. Everyone went to bed early. I see the doctor on Wednesday at 1445, but I need to write in my pregnancy journal about this back pain, so I remember how unimaginably agonizing it really is.
I did get to text with Ty a bit this evening -- I kept waiting until 1945 when I know he should be getting up. Luckily, the net was working, so I got to at least say hi and tell him how much I love and miss him. It made me feel better, too.
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