Day 32: Breakdown

I don't remember much of yesterday due to pregnancy brain and the fact that I went to sleep earlier than normal and am thus writing a day late.

I was able to download my ebook to my iPhone, but not to my iPad, though I later added the Nook app to my parents' iPad and signed into my account and the book appeared.  I don't know why.  I googled it for an hour and emailed customer service and then played the waiting game.  However, since it was on my parents' iPad, I just usurped it and spent a while reading.

At some point I fell asleep, but Ty called and woke me up, so we got to chat.  It was a real phone call, which is always nice.  Poor guy had to wait 45 minutes to use the phone though and was already dead tired after working all day.

After our chat, I got up and put on my swimsuit and got in the pool.  My parents came out and swam/floated on the rafts, too.  My dad turned on the sprinklers for a cycle in the backyard and all the birds seemed to show up and take baths -- it was fun to watch.

Unfortunately, while my mom was out, she decided to bring up labor, AGAIN.  She keeps saying she doesn't want me to be alone and it's only because she cares that she wants to be in the room... she won't be in the way... blah blah blah.  Except we've had this discussion a million times and she says she'll leave when I ask and that all is fine, but if it were, she wouldn't keeping bringing up this same conversation.
 "All my friends were with their daughters during their labor."
I asked if all their husbands were in Afghanistan and if all those ladies wanted to have children.  She didn't have an answer (because it's "no"), so I said, "You can compare situations when you find one that's the same."  But she kept pushing and said, "I don't know a man in the world who would want his wife alone and I don't know what's wrong with you to make you not want me there."

I finally started crying because I hate more than anything to have to think about going into labor without Tyler there.  My dad told her that she made me cry and she stopped talking.  I told her (as best as I could while sobbing) that I didn't want to have the baby at all and Tyler does want her there, but I don't care what either of them want and it doesn't matter what I want either.  I have to have the baby and Tyler will not be there and she will until I ask her to leave.  And, if she's genuinely fine with that, then she needs to stop bringing it up.  Then she got all mopey and was like, "I thought we had a good relationship and I thought we were close" and so on and so on.  I said, "Do you have a good relationship with dad? (to which she said yes) Do you argue? Do you have different opinions on things?"  I said, "It has nothing to do with our relationship.  It has to do with this is something I NEVER EVER EVER wanted to experience or deal with because I didn't want to do it without Tyler and now I have to and it is miserable.

She eventually got over it.  I made some caramelized onion and swiss chicken burgers for dinner (we got them at Sam's).  They weren't too impressive -- my turkey burgers are far better.  We didn't taste much onion or swiss... just chicken.

After dinner we watched some tv and I went to read because they had a lot of shows recorded to catch up on that I'd already seen.  I fell asleep while reading (in the nursery) and they came in to take Puck out and cover me up.  Luckily, they didn't make me move or "get ready for bed."  It's nice when I can just be left where I am and not have to wake up.

Eventually, I did wake up, then I read some more before getting up, getting ready for bed and going into my room.