Day 150: Pumpkins

Zumba... didn't get to teach any routine.  She introduced a "new" one... it's another one of my songs with different moves.

Showered. Nursed.

Rehab.  She poked on my SI and my traps.  It was excruciating, but felt great later.

Nursed.

Went to Academy and got two new workout tops. Bought Ty a blanket at Home Goods.

Nursed.  Cooked dinner.

Carved a punkin.

 And there are two pics from when I hung out with Danielle.  The second is when Eis was sleeping with her hands all crazy.

Day 149: Pablo

So Paul's in town and wanted to hang out and meet Eisley.  I wanted my laptop fixed, so I figured I should hang out with him in return for doing what I want.  I'm nice like that.

I picked him up at 1100 and we stopped by Starbucks on the way back the my parents' house.  Puck was super excited to see him and got lots of attention all day, not to mention he finally had someone to play with him!  He chatted with the folks for a bit and I brought my laptop into the kitchen.

We backed up my laptop and my parents' computer onto our respective externals and began the process.  He met Eisley and we chatted in the kitchen for a while while the computers and Paul did their thing.  Eventually, I went back to the nursery to feed Eis while Paul chatted with my mom in the kitchen.

After that, we decided to go to Taco Bell for lunch, since we didn't want to eat a lot, as dinner would be in about 4-5 hours.  We both grabbed as many sauce packets as we could and stuffed them into my purse for Tyler.  When we left, I wanted to find fabric to make stockings for the single soldiers.

I figured Hobby Lobby would be good, so we headed out toward Lake Travis.  We stopped for a bit at Breed Hardware to look at all the neat stuff they have there, on the way.  As we pulled into the shopping centre in LT, I realised that there was no HL there -- only a Michael's!  We went in to see if they had fabric -- they did not.  We drove down 71 and stopped in Garden Ridge.  They had only terrible fabric.  Then we finally went to Hancock Fabric, which is where I should have gone in the first place.

I wandered around trying to figure out what I wanted to do, then I settled on felt.  Good ol' standard felt. I got green for the "boot" and red for the top and white for whatever I decide to put on them.  I will have to get a move on making them tomorrow, since I don't have a lot of time -- I need to use what time I do have, wisely.

We got back and I fed Eis again while Paul did computer stuff with my dad in the kitchen and office.  Then we got ready and headed to Olive Garden for dinner.  We had to take two separate cars, since we all couldn't fit in mine with Eisley.

Dinner wasn't too bad. Eis slept for a while, then was staring at stuff, but started fussing as the food arrived. My mom and I took her to change her diaper.  I knew she was hungry again and I had a small bottle.  My mom insisted trying to hold her while I fed her, but I knew it wouldn't work.  We had to go back to the table and put Eis in the "mo."  She took her bottle in the mo, but only while I stood behind her.  I ate a bit while standing.

Paul really wanted to bake, so we traded cars with the padres and they took Eis home as we went to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for cupcakes.  I fed Eis real quick when we got home while Paul got stuff for the cupcakes ready.

It took two freakin' hours to make cupcakes.  We did everything from scratch and they were delicious --- chocolate cupcakes with a kahlua buttercream icing.  I really needed Paul to leave, but I realised I had to drive him back to Colin's place.  Argh.  I don't think he was done chatting with us, but Eis we sleepy and fussy and I told him I had to take him home.

I dropped him off next door to Colin's and headed home as quick as I could.  When I got there, Dad was reading to Eis and she was talking real loud over him.  It was really funny.  He went to bed and I read to Eis and she fell asleep at midnight.

She woke up at 0700.

She slept seven hours!

Miracle on Leopold Lane.

It was great to get that much sleep, but my boobs were about to explode, I'll tell you that!!

Day 148: Domain

So after my short sleep night.  I woke up and got Eisley ready and we went up to the Domain to eat lunch with Danielle.  We had a lot of fun.

I changed a diaper right before I left. Changed a diaper right when I got there. Changed a diaper right as our food arrived...  Then she slept while we ate, which was nice.  However, when we finished, she was hungry.

Danielle shopped for 15 minutes while I nursed Eis in the car.  Oddly, Eis didn't nurse much or long.  I decided I'd just take a couple diapers and walk around until she was too fussy to go any longer.

We walked all through Forever 21 waiting for Danielle.  Eis stared at lights and clothes and tons of sparkly jewelry that I showed her.  Then we headed to Express.  I saw a leather jacket I love.  Though I didn't try it on... I was impressed that I liked a leather jacket -- usually there's something I hate about them.  I suppose I didn't care for the price of $98... though in the scheme of leather jackets, it's not too bad.  Regardless, I won't be getting it because I have lots of jackets and don't have $98 to spend on another one, which is why I didn't buy those other clothes I previously linked to from Body Central and Boston Proper.

The great thing about this jacket is that the underarms and side are not leather, so you don't get all sweaty... kinda like my favorite white button-up shirt.  I'll have to try it one sometime.  I was surprised Express had it... they haven't had stuff I've liked in a long time.

When I got home, I had a letter from Ty.  Well, I didn't, Eisley did.  I read it and teared up.  It's so hard to think about him not being here and seeing things like his sweet letter.  He also sent a pic.  He's so handsome.

Day 147: Rehab

They try to make me go to rehab and I said, "No, no no."

Not true.  I actually said, "Sounds great. When?"

I remember Ty not liking that I call it "rehab" because people may not know that I mean physical rehabilitation.  

I laugh every time I say or think the word "rehabilitation" because I think of the scene in Idiocracy when Frito sees the Rehabilitation poster and says, "Re-r-rehabilation."  Oh, funny.  I want to watch that movie again when Ty comes back.

Anyway, I did Zumbas, weights and toning, then came home and showered.  I nursed Eisley, then left for "rehabilation."  I stopped by Starbucks on the way to get a green tea latte, since I'd not eaten.  

My PT, Kim, is amazing.  She did my initial evaluation and also does my sessions, which is nice and how it (logically) should happen, though that's not how things are done in Killeen... go figure. 

Anyway, this was my first real session.  I'd been doing my exercises and was looking forward to more adjustments.  She was pleased that I wasn't too off-kilter and began with my psoas muscles.  Those are muscles that go from one's abdomen to leg on both sides of the body.  They're quite deep.  I thought she was going to have me do some exercise, but instead she starts massaging them.  They must have been tight because DAMN!  I was feeling the burn, for sure.  

I then did five minutes of side-stepping on a treadmill on each side, which was a surprisingly good little exercise! I did some squats and pull-down things with resistance bands, next.  I noticed my right knee popping, so we altered them a bit.  I did squats on both legs, then each leg, individually.  The goal was to target the muscle the goes from the lower back to the glute.  

I did a couple abdominal exercises at the end, then I told her my left SI was still "stabby."  She had me lay down and she mashed on something and it was so excruciating in a good way.  It was the kind of pain that you know is agonizing, but would feel better after.  I was laughing it hurt so bad.  She said the muscle and tissue was very hard around it.  

We did a bit of shopping when I got home: Target (jammies, groceries) and Buy Buy Baby (sippy cup, calendula body wash).  I had dinner at home alone because the folks went out to eat and to a movie.  

Eis fell asleep at 2100 -- wow.  I laid in bed, thinking she'd wake up after 30 minutes.  My body hurt so bad there was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep.  A little bit later, my dad comes home and I have him give me a back rub.  I passed out hard after that!

Problem was Eisley slept for TWO HOURS AND FORTY-FIVE MINUTES.

Woke up. Nursed. Slept for TWO HOURS AND FORTY-FIVE MINUTES.

Woke up. Nursed. Slept for TWO HOURS AND FORTY-FIVE MINUTES.

Woke up. Changed a diaper. Nursed. Slept for an HOUR AND A HALF.

Woke up. Changed a diaper.  Slept for an HOUR.

Woke up. Changed a diaper. Nursed. Told my mom to get her if she made noise.

I got to sleep another two and a half hours.

Day 146: Boring

I got to teach a couple routines at Zumba today.  I left right after Zumba was done and didn't stay for the 20 minutes of weights and toning because my dad leaves at 1100 to golf and I get home at 1045 and shower before he goes.  However, today he didn't golf until 1300 and didn't tell me.  Needless to say, I never mentioned the 20 minutes of weights and toning, so he didn't know to tell me.

I gave Eisley a bath today.  I'm trying to bathe her more often to reduce the cradle cap...  we'll see how that goes.  She has squealed in delight about twice (ever) and it's so darn cute when she does it.  I am really wanting to hear some laughing.  She did it a couple times in her sleep when she was a couple weeks old, but hasn't done any since.

I made Dr. Pepper chicken tonight for dinner with sweet potato fries that my mom bought in the freezer section.  I am not sure which item it was, but Eisley HATED dinner.  I know I can't drink Dr. Pepper without her fussing, so I don't drink it anymore.  I also can't eat spicy food.  I didn't realize the sweet potato fries were spicy and it would bother Eisley... they had some black pepper on them, so maybe that was what did us in... or perhaps it was the chicken.  Though I would have thought that cooking with it would change its properties enough to not cause a problem.

Eis was screaming like nobody's business a bit after dinner.  I thought she was tired.  I tried nursing, but she wanted nothing to do with it.  My dad and I switched off holding her and trying to calm her.  I rubbed her tummy and rolled her legs around and my dad got two big burps out of her, shortly after.  She still wouldn't nurse, though, and was hungry.  I went and got the tiny bit of milk I had in the fridge and used a medicine dropper to give her a little.

She greedily drank it, so I knew she just didn't want my milk at that moment.  I found this weird nipple thing in my bag-o-bottle-goodies and put some milk in there, but it wouldn't come out well.  I tried another nipple, but it was too small and couldn't hold much.  Finally, I grabbed a Similac nipple wrapped in a package.  I opened it up and put it in my mouth, which was a good thing because it had a gross chemical taste.  I took it to the bathroom and washed it off.  The chemical taste was gone for the most part.  I tried to see if it would twist onto my medula milk storage bottle and it fit!  Hooray!  I offered it to Eisley and she took it!

She drank it all and wanted more, so I gave her to my dad to try to burp again.  While he did that, I got some milk from the freeze and thawed it as quickly as I could.  I put it in the same bottle she'd just used and took it in to my dad.  He tried to give it to her while holding her and she wanted nothing to do with it.  I set up two pillows on the couch and had him change seats.  He sat her on the one pillow, leaning again the other and he sat next to her and she took the bottle immediately.

She likes her bottle feeding experience to be totally different from her breastfeeding experience.  It's strange, but we've figured it out, so that's all that matters.  Hopefully, my parents will remember this when I have my surgery.

Day 145: Pumpkin Patch (Take 2)

Good news is that Sabrina finally had four "new" routines.  New for her and the class and somewhat new for me.  They were all songs I use and only one of them was the moves (for the most part) that I use.  I think I'll have to toss the "suggestion" that I don't use the same song with different moves cause I've been teaching longer and I just don't have an opportunity to do my routines.  Though I think that she is leaning toward my not doing routines, since she's going to pay me if I teach more than two classes...  I really don't know how that makes sense, but whatevs.  I applied at BCCC.

I bathed Eis again today.  I now have that tub thing, but I can't use it in the sink because my parents don't have the right kind of sink.  It's quite uncomfortable to use the tub in my tub cause I have to lean over and have my legs all bent up... I'm not sure what to do.

I got her dressed and let her take a nap, then decided to change her clothes.  I put her in her UT tutu and a white onesie and I sewed a spider on a new white headband.  When Dad was ready, we hit the road and went to the pumpkin patch in Terry Town.  It was in a church yard and was pretty cute -- expensive, but cute.  Luckily, we didn't buy a pumpkin there, so it didn't matter how expensive it was.

When we arrived, Eis was sleeping, so the first few pics were of a grump-sleep-face.  My dad is so funny, he thinks that pics where she's making a face or unhappy aren't "good" pics and shouldn't be taken.  He will wait forever to take the "perfect" picture and I can see how that might be good practice for the yesteryear where film was used, but not now.  Take a million and delete the blurry or crap ones and get a move on!  He took a few and it took forever just to get a couple because he wanted Eisley to look at the camera... hahahaha!

I have taken some gems and it's because I just snap snap snap the pics.  He's also old-school in his framing.  He likes symmetry and often wants the subject in the center of the pic -- bless him.

On another note, I have announcements of Eisley's arrival to mail out and I have to figure out which of Ty's people should get them.  I will have to email Michelle and ask her for 15 names, as we only have 28 available to mail.

Day 144: The Nursery

I spent 97% of my day in the nursery with Eisley.  She slept, ate, got diapers changed, played on the kickin' coaster, and chatted with mama and grandpa... once he got home from golf.

I did get to catch up on some shows, but not much else, since she did not spend much time napping.  I have a feeling it's going to be a rough night.  What better way to prepare for Zumba than getting a couple short naps?!

I thought I'd have time to post something, but apparently not.  She's up after a glorious 17 minute snooze.  Woooo...

Day 143: Doctors

This morning Eis woke me up at 0630.  I had an alarm set to wake me at 0720 to get ready for Zumba, but that was obviously not going to happen.  I changed her diaper and nursed her with the thought that I'd sleep 20 minutes longer and not nurse again until I got back.

However, it was difficult falling asleep, knowing that I would have less than an hour to sleep.  When my alarm went off at 0740, I felt exhausted.  I also realized that I didn't have any clean sports bras or tops to wear.  I also did some painful math and realized I would be rather pressed for time between getting home, showering, nursing, and leaving for my doctor's appointment on time.

I went to the kitchen and told my mom that I was not going to Zumba and to come get Eis if she started crying. I set a new alarm for 0940 and went back to sleep.

It was a sleep full of incredibly strange dreams.  I always seem to be trying to get somewhere, get away from someone or something, and am usually attacked by something.  This time, during one of my dreams, I was attacked by what looked like small, grey piglets or something.  Though they were mean and vicious and had these long tails and claws.  I was in the backyard and they saw me and ran toward me, then jumped on me and started strangling me with their tails and clawing at my face, chest, and neck with their claws and I was trying to scream for my mom or dad to come help me get them off of me.

I will say that that is an unpleasant feeling to wake up to... choking, scared, and trying to scream.  I wonder why I (an plenty of other people) can never scream, yell, or talk in a dream when we need to do so?  That would be interesting to know; I'll have to look it up.

I had already put on some yoga pants when I woke up at 0720, so I just had to find a top.  I moved a couple of my boxes to see if I could find a tank top that I could wear under a light sweater.  I did, and while I was at it, I grabbed a couple workout tops, too.  I put my tank top on and was glad I had a sweater to wear over it because between the pants and the top, my outfit was quite fitted.

I first drove to Dr. P's office.  He is so nice and remembered quite a bit about me.  He remembered me talking about my faux hawk (I don't even remember talking about that!), that I taught aerobics, taught school, and he asked how my "little one" was doing.  We talked about Zumba and capoeira and other things while he put more lidocaine in my traps.

I think he wants to take my Zumba class because he was asking where I taught, where it was located, what it's like, plus he asked if I had a business card or anything that I could give him, and he kept repeating the name of the place where I do Zumba.  Maybe I'll see him there one time! It would be funny!

I didn't have time to schedule a follow-up because I had to get to my physical therapy appointment.  It took me a few minutes to find it -- I had to call and ask which building they were because it wasn't listed anywhere.  I filled out some paperwork and while waited for the therapist to come get me, I chatted a bit with Ty, realized I didn't have my credit card, and called my mom to have her check my jeans.

The therapist was really nice.  She said my spine seemed a little twisted to the left and my pelvis was outta whack -- not her words -- and she did some pushing and adjusting to try to get me a bit more in-line.  It felt nice at the time and she was saying I'd feel a bit sore later, but I didn't think I would.  Stupid me.  I feel quite sore!  I think all the prodding was good and I am excited to go back on Friday to have her do more, but wow!

She gave me homework of three exercises so do in the mean time.  I've already done them tonight on the floor while Eis was on the floor, too.

In other news, I found a beauty of a pumpkin patch that I want to go to to take pics of Eisley.  I wanted to go today, but my mom took too long and didn't think about traffic and school and everything, so we didn't have time.  I decided that I would go Wednesday, so I asked my dad if he would go with me and he agreed.  He thinks it's unnecessary, but he's willing to go because I want to go.

Day 142: Chatty

Didn't do much of anything today, save for pick my mom up at the airport.  Oh, and I got to shower.

Besides that, I just sat around and messed with Eisley.  She didn't nap much today, so it's been painful trying to get her to sleep tonight. Painful, meaning highly irritating.  Irritating only because I am so tired, myself.

We got to video chat with Ty today for a little bit, though he couldn't see me or Eis because the net was so bad, plus it was kind of hard to hear him, too.

I don't know how I'm supposed to do this "mom" thing forever.  I seriously don't have enough patience.  I want to rip my hair out and throw it at Eis.  Her screaming is the death of me and my back.  I try to have my headphones in, but I don't like having my music as loud as it has to be so I don't hear her.


:(

Day 141: Punkins

Yesterday I spent time trying to search for items to purchase for Alpha Company's single soldiers and emailing my FRG co-leader.


Eventually, we got Eisley ready and went to Mimi's cafe to order food to-go.  While they prepared our order, we went to HEB to get a pumpkin and to take pics of Eisley in the pumpkins.  HEB was the best we could do for a "pumpkin patch."


When we got home, I put Eis in her kicker and we sat down to eat.  I had ordered the beef bourguignon, which was: Tender chuck roast simmered in a flavorful vegetable stew with mushrooms, carrots, red onions and seasonal vegetables. Served with mashed potatoes.


It was soooooo incredibly delicious.  I ordered it without broccoli and just carrots, since I can't eat broccoli cause of Eis.  I melted with every bite.  I think that's what I'll get every time from now on, since it was so yummy.  


After dinner, dad talked with mom about flights she'd take and I FaceTimed with Jamie and Martha to check out bikinis to see which one I wanted.  


Eis went to bed fairly easily last night and slept for six hours, then three, then three.

Day 140: Stress

I apparently missed yesterday.  Not much happened because I don't remember it.  I think I just sat around and practiced some Zumba routines.

Eisley was insanely fussy last night.  My dad and I tried for ages to get her to sleep, but she kept screaming whenever we'd put her down.  Finally, I told my dad to give her ten minutes to cry it out.  At ten minutes, I came in to check on her and she was falling asleep -- yay.

She slept for just shy of six hours.  I nursed her when she woke up, then she slept for another two hours.  I had to nurse her before I went to Zumba, so I wasn't much fussed that it was only two hours.  I was in a good mood, since I was going to teach a few routines.  I like to teach when the class is larger, like it is on MWFs.

Unfortunately, Sabrina forgot that she wanted me to teach a couple routines.  Needless to say, I got highly irritated.  I sweat a tiny bit because I don't push myself to do the same boring routines.  The upper body and arms are barely integrated into the routines.  I was bored and bummed.

However, I didn't say anything to her after class because she's always busy and I don't like confrontation and I wasn't sure what to say at that point.  I needed to clear my head so I didn't speak in irritation.  I went to Petco and bought Puck more food, though it took a while because I couldn't remember what I had previously purchased.

I showered and bathed Puck when I got home and finished getting the rooms ready for the maids.  I dressed, then brushed Puck outside while Eisley napped.  Eventually, I got her ready and we got in the car and headed to Heights.

It was 1530 when we arrived, so I nursed her and we changed a couple diapers before heading to the high school.  Before I left, Ty texted, but (again) he was talking to someone else as I was waiting to leave so we could chat.  I was irritated that I was putting my activities to talk to him, but despite how exhausted he was, he was talking to someone else.  When I found out,  I decided I was not going to wait, so I said goodbye.
Once at the school, I walked around to see if any teachers were there, but I didn't see any, so I headed down to see the cheerleaders. They were cute and it was nice that the bitchy ones had left the squad.  It was a palpable difference in a positive way.  I was sad that I had been stuck with the squad from Hell.

I saw Daniela.  She's gained weight.  I guess she was trying to stay on the thinner side of fat for her wedding, but now that it's over, she's on the average to fat side of fat.  She wasn't looking great.  Some of the cheerleaders had gained weight, too.  Some were still as cute as ever though.

I met the new coach.  She seems really nice and likable.  She's average looking, so the girls seem to like her.  I can see why Jennifer always said they had problems with me -- they (stupidly) saw me as competition.  Yes, I would love to trade someone who can provide cars, a house, diamonds, shopping, and travel for someone who can barely drive and lives with his parents.

Ummm... no.

I had taken the truck out of storage insurance today, but it was fruitless.  I would have had to move the carseat to the truck and back.  I also would have had to put the truck back in the garage and there was no way that was going to happen by myself.

After I stopped by the game, I went to the FRG meeting.  Ashley C-V's little girl kept getting near Eisley and wanting to touch her.  She would have pushed on her, but I kept telling her no and moving her hands away.  She would take Eisley's pacifier away from her and try to give it back, she'd ask what everything was, she wanted to give Eis her bottle, so I was stressed out.  This was after holding Eisley for a solid hour in my arms at the school and for 30 minutes at the stadium.

It was nice to be there with the ladies. It's definitely a different crowd compared to last deployment.  More involvement, overall, from the ladies, but primarily enlisted women.  They're really sweet, despite their crazy-ass kids.  I would probably want to hang out with many of them if I lived closer.  I like Cross' wife; she's nice and pretty.  I like Crane's wife; she is friendly and interesting -- if I didn't know she was married, I may think she's a lesbitarian.  She kept telling me how good I look and I'm pretty and such -- it was kind, but awkward.

I saw Nutter's baby -- he's a cutie.  Lisa looks good, too.  I like Dahms, as she has a great personality.  Ashley C-V is nice, but her kids drive me nuts.  Aultman stopped by -- she looks nothing like I imagined.  There were a couple others there, but I think they were friends of some of the ladies'.

I stayed for two hours and headed home around 2115.  I am totally exhausted and my back kiiiills.

Day 138: Ow

I am in serious need for more lidocaine in my traps.  All this fussy baby business has really kinked up my back.  I have another appointment on Monday -- hopefully he'll be able to oblige me.

Holy crap.  I'm officially dumb.  Hopefully, it's the lack of sleep that's compounding my mommy-brain, but I forgot how to spell "oblige."  It was so bad that I couldn't even use the dictionary to help myself.  I apparently forgot that 'o' is a letter...

Anyway... tonight I had to let Eis cry for 10 minutes and put on my headphones.  She didn't sleep well last night and she didn't nap much today, so it was a rough evening.  Dad tried to help a lot, but he was getting frustrated, too.  He was determined to be successful and for the most part, he was, but she would shriek if he put her down.  I finally had to say, "Just go watch tv.  I'm going to give her 10 minutes to cry."

It worked.  I came in after 10 minutes and she was awake, but calm and heading off to sleep.  Thank goodness!

I've spent some time going through my Zumba stuff trying to remember routines.  It's harder for the ones I made up.  I really should write down the moves or video them so I don't forget in the future.  I will teach three routines tomorrow and want to have good ones.  I'm so bored with Sabrina's routines.  We have done the exact same last routine since my first class.  I understand why the ladies like when I teach.

I have to make sure Eis looks supercute tomorrow, since we're going to Heights.  I'm going to stop by the field before the game starts and see Daniela and the cheerleaders, then I'm going to the FRG meeting, but I won't stay for much of the social, since it will have already been a long day and I'll still have to drive home to Austin.

On another note: I've been missing England a lot recently.  As hard as that job was, I was better than everyone else at it and it was certainly a challenge.  I loved my flat, despite it being cold and crazy.  I loved being within walking distance of everything and never having to drive anywhere.

I think if I had appropriate spine and back care while I was there, I would not have come home.  I was in complete agony and it put a damper on everything because I couldn't sit, stand, or walk without agony.  I got to travel all over and go wherever I wanted whenever I wanted.  I could catch a train and have dinner in London.  I could decide to travel to another country, then just see who wanted to go with me.  I had plenty of money, even with the travel and shopping.  I was in great shape because I walked everywhere.

If I could teach at a good school, teach Zumba, and have my back not hurt, then I would do great there.  I love being places that are so... endless.  There was just always something I could do.  I enjoyed going to the pub after work on Fridays with co-workers.  I adored being surrounded by a different culture.

The only downsides were the stalker, the chav-extreme school, and the debilitating pain.  I am so thankful that I went when I did because I couldn't do any of that now.  Even if Ty and I were there, we couldn't do most of the things I did because he works all the time, not to mention, we have Eisley.

I'm so independent that that was an ideal situation for me... do what I wanted when I wanted and how I wanted.  I'm still independent, but it's just an aspect of myself that I can no longer access or utilize.  I have to make sure I nurture Eisley's independence.

Day 137: Heights

Today we went to Heights.  We went to Temple first and I had some blood taken.

The phlebotomist stuck my left arm, wiggled the needle, then wrapped it up because she missed the vein.  Then she stuck the back of my right hand, but it only gave a couple drops of blood.  She then decided she would get someone else to draw my blood because she could not.  Phlebotomist #2 came in and looked around and decided to go from my right forearm.  Luckily, she was successful.

I walked out all bandaged up and my dad said, "What the heck happened? Are those all failed attempts?"  I said, "No, only two are failed."

Dad mowed the yard once we got to the house and I nursed Eisley.  When I finished, I took Eis and went to the HH S&W Clinic to show Eis to the ladies.  They thought she was supercute and loved her boots.  After a few minutes of visiting, we ran to Walgreens to buy some new batteries for the chirping smoke detectors in the house.  I bought two batteries, which was a good thing because it turned out two of our detectors were chirping and we had only noticed one doing so at first.

We were not there long.  We were headed back to Austin before rush hour.

It was a pretty simple day, overall.

I will go back to Heights on Friday.  I plan on seeing Daniela and the cheerleaders before the football game and then going to the FRG meeting for a bit.  I will have Eis with me, so it will be interesting to see how we do!

Day 136: Cool Front

Today was nice and cool, though extremely windy.  I decided to take Eis for a walk around the street, but as soon as I picked her up and got outside, I got a text from Ty.

I came in because Eisley was fussing and it was too much trouble to try to walk and text.  He didn't tell me that he was talking to James, so our conversation was a bit short.  When he did mention that he was talking to James, he tried to tell me funny things James had said, but I didn't understand the comments or why they were funny.

I got incredibly irritated.  Eisley was asleep and my dad would be home in a matter of hours.  If I waited to walk until Eisley woke up, then I'd have to nurse her once she woke up, then wait to change about three diapers.  By then, my dad would be home and I didn't want to walk once he was back.

I am not sure if that is what irritated me or the fact that, again, timing was terrible, coupled with the fact that he was talking to someone else.  I don't care who he talks to and I like that he talks to other people, but I don't like having such monotonous conversations with him, which is what seems to happen.

I gave up asking about mission details because I am often told that he can't tell me.  I ask the same questions every time: how was the mission, what'd you do today, what'd you eat, how's the weather, etc.  He asks how my day is going.  I don't do much and what I do do, I write here.

We can't talk about anything of substance because he's either too tired or the net dies or we get irritated because communication is difficult.  I don't even want to try a conversation of importance because it's irritating enough asking him how his day went three times before I get an answer.

I suppose I'm jealous that he can talk and laugh with other people.

I feel like a single mother.  A married, single mother.  It makes me wonder what on earth things will be like when Tyler gets home.  Every other year we become somewhat different people and every other year we have to get to know each other again.  If I really think about it and try, I can recall memories with Tyler, but it's like recalling memories of anyone... which I don't like.  I want to feel more when I remember.  But I also think that I shouldn't have to try to remember.  I feel like I should always be thinking about him and remember our time together.

Maybe it's because I spend all my time taking care of Eis that I don't think about Tyler.

We don't talk about anything now.  When he gets home, it's months before he's... normal?  We will be moving wherever his job takes us.  He'll be starting school.  He'll be figuring out where he wants to go next.  He'll be a dad to a one year old child.  That's a lot to adjust to... not to mention, having to readjust to me, too.

He gets so angry with me all the time.  He loves me when he's away because he forgets how much I irritate him.  How much will I irritate him now that I will be set in my ways with my daughter?  We have never had to move or choose where to live.  How will I adjust to having no help and my parents not here to take care of Eisley?  Wherever we go will be someplace totally new for me.

What if each deployment, I feel less connected to Tyler?  How many deployments can we make it through?  We are totally backwards in our feelings.  He needs me gone to love me and I need him here to feel close.  What if he likes me less this coming year (at home) than he did last?  That's worrying because he didn't like me very much this past year...

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I can't even reread what I've written to see if my grammar is correct. I am being bombarded with screaming and an audiobook (as the talking slightly helps Eis fall asleep).

Day 135: Sleeping

I really need to figure out how to transition Eis from sleeping in the swing.  I hate that she sleeps in there and won't sleep anywhere else.  She used to just sleep in the if she were insanely fussy, but it grew to where she would fuss and fuss until I put here in it.

However, now, she'll fuss even in that when she's tired.  I feel like if she's going to fuss and cry, she might as well sleep in the crib.  I don't really want to put her in the sleeper because it seems like her legs get all bunched up.  However, she doesn't like to lay flat, so I don't know what to do.  Perhaps, I should look into a crib wedge.

Or maybe I should just do more research.

I didn't get to go to Zumba today because there was no one here to watch Eis.  Usually Mom does it, but she's in Maui until Saturday.  I won't get to go tomorrow because I never get to go on Tuesdays.  I did get to shower today, though, which was nice.  I also gave Eis a bath because I think if I bathe her more often, her cradle cap will subside... or at least that's what one website suggested.

I've been putting BioOil on her head -- like Palmer's Oil -- and rubbing it it, then letting it sit for 20 minutes before her bath.  Unfortunately, I have reactions to it touching my skin.  I accidentally let her head touch my chest the other day and I had an itchy rash for a couple days.  Today, I put a towel around her head, so it wouldn't touch me.  Luckily, it doesn't matter if my hands touch the oil, plus I wash it off, right after I rub it into her scalp.

Tomorrow should be cool, so perhaps I can walk Eis around the street more than twice.  I'll have to go fairly early, too, so I don't miss talking to Tyler.

On a final note... I can't wait until Eisley sleeps longer than four hours and goes to sleep without so much fuss.

Day 134: Target

This morning I got up and tried on my good jeans in size 6.  Again, I was squeezing into them, but I needed to see where my weight was most lingering.  I have a layer of weight to lose all over, but I felt muffin-toppy, which I need to target.  Most of my old tops are fairly fitted and even the ones that I thought were not, apparently are.

After I was dressed, I went to the kitchen and Dad asked where I was going.  I told him, "We are going to go to Target, Starbucks, and to get you a flu shot."  He said he didn't want Starbucks because he was already drinking coffee.  I told him that it was for me, not him.  He said he didn't want a flu shot, but I told him that Eisley can't have one, so we need to all make sure we get one.

I got one and I rarely leave the house.  He plays golf numerous times a week, which means he's with people and is outside in the elements.  I must be convincing because he agreed to get one.  He went to shower as Eisley began to wake up.

Starbucks was going to be my first stop, but I decided we should do my dad's errand first.  We stopped by the Pool Supply Something or Other place and he talked to the salesman about pumps, since ours is busted.  It will be around $800 to fix or around $800 to get a new one.  Hmmm... choices.

While he was chatting, I looked up where the nearest Starbucks and Walgreens locations were.  Starbucks was in Target, so I figured we should to the flu shot next.

We headed out and found our way to Walgreens.  He went ahead while I got Eis out of the car.  He'd not had a flu shot in about 30 years, so he was a bit reluctant, but I told him he'd be fine.  He filled out the paperwork, we waited about three minutes, then got his shot.  It was much quicker than when I got mine at the Walgreens in Heights a couple years ago.

Funny thing is, that when we were going into Target, I saw a sign that said, "Get your flu shot here."  I said, "So we could have accomplished all of my to-do list here.  Well, now I know."  I had Dad carry Eis, so I could have my hands free to shop.  First, however, was Starbucks -- I figured I deserved a treat for being so bored yesterday.

I decided to look at Halloween costumes, first, to see if they had any that would fit Eis.  They did not have any, but they did have many parents with noisy children in the section.  I did not want to spend much time around the noise.  As we walked toward the baby section I said, "Man, I hate kids!" and we laughed.

I looked at prices on clothes and winter-wear, since she'll need a couple coat-like things to keep her warm this winter.  We tried her out in an activity center.  She was too little, so she wasn't a fan, but I thought it was great.  Then we looked at some onesies and grabbed two sets for her at six and nine months, respectively.  At this point, she was starting to fuss, as she had wet her diaper, so we grabbed a cart to get some groceries before we headed home.

We went around and grabbed a few different meats and veggies to cook for the week.  It goes much faster when it's dad and me -- we're highly efficient. When we went to the checkout, he told me he'd buy the onesies, which was nice, as I was planning on paying for them.  They were $7.99 for a pack of three.  I got one set for when Ty comes home for R&R and another set for the time when he redeploys home.   They're both supercute and supremely different from one another.

Once we got home, I gave Eis a bottle, since we're trying to make sure she'll take them.  We don't want me to have surgery and Eis not eat because she refuses bottles!  She did good and took one in the Little Lamb in the living room.  However, she was also exhausted, so she got really fussy and wouldn't fall asleep.  I tried the swing, crib, sleeper, kicker, then I put on the wrap, since she wanted to be held.  Not only did she want to be held, but she didn't want me to sit and hold her -- I had to stand and bounce.

We went and chatted with Dad and eventually she relaxed enough to where I brought her back and laid her in the swing to nap.  I think she slept for two to three hours.  It was long enough for me to look up some books on the computer, cook dinner, and give us time to eat, too.

I brought her back to the nursery at 2100 and she nursed, then we read for around an hour.  She is still not asleep... She whined in the swing.  She whined in the sleeper.  She is currently in the crib, but kicking and wriggling and not sleeping.

I can't go to sleep because I know that as soon as I do, she'll cry because she's dropped Rubadub or something!  I can't wait until she sleeps through the night.

Day 133: 20 Years Ago

Exactly twenty years ago, I underwent my first surgery.  "Underwent" sounds wrong, but it's not -- I checked.  I was eight years old, in third grade, and had my tonsils and adenoids removed in the hospital on Bergstrom Air Force Base, which is now gone, as the area is Austin-Bergstrom Airport.

Every time I sit down, Eis whines.  She's been tired, but refuses to go to sleep.  She's not going to miss anything except me sleeping, too!  I read for an hour and twenty minutes and had to take a break from sitting on the floor.  My back was killing me.

I hate having her sleep in the swing. I try to not swing her in it, since I don't want her to have to rely on movement to fall asleep, but that's never going to happen.  Since I brought her home, she would only rarely fall asleep when still.  Before we got the swing, it was me having to hold her and move around because sitting and rocking was not sufficient.

This girl is murder on my spine.

I realized today that I would lose weight much faster if I taught Zumba more often.  I burn so many more calories, plus I'm working my entire body, whereas I don't work my upper body in Sabrina's class.  She doesn't do moves to target the arms and upper back...  I'll just have to make the routines I get to do, really count!

Today, Eisley got to FaceTime with her grandma and Aunt Jamie in Maui.  Jamie loved seeing Eis.  She's going to find the bikini she had specially made for her and send it home with my mom.  She's also going to give me a bikini, which is good, since what good is having a bikini designing and selling sister if I don't get at least one suit! I just don't know what size top to get... I obviously won't wear it until next summer, but I don't know what size my boobs will be... Will they shrink back down to a big B/small C or will they be a big C?  I know they won't stay Ds -- thank goodness!  I think these larger boobs make me feel larger overall.

Fifteen more pounds until I'm at my target weight.  I won't aim for where I was before because I don't think that'll ever happen, but if I can get below 130, then I'll be pleased. Shoot, if I can get below 140, I'll feel like I'm making progress!

Day 132: Sleepsy

Eisley slept for five hours and twenty minutes last night, then for two and a half hours.  Woo!  I look forward to the days where I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night or numerous times throughout the morning.

I taught Zumba today.  I set up my playlist yesterday and reviewed a couple routines that I couldn't quite remember.  However, I realized I hadn't prepared my warm-up, which wasn't too bad, but on my way, I realized I'd completely forgotten to review a routine that was on my playlist.  I listened to it twice on the way and remembered most of it, but had to make something up for one part that I couldn't think of for the life of me.

The class went well.  Everyone got a good workout and they seemed to really enjoy it.  It seemed to be more of an actual work out than Sabrina's classes.  I know I burned 898 calories in an hour and forty-five minutes (15 min prior, Zumba, then the 30 minutes after), whereas I usually burn half that on Sabrina's days.  Hopefully, I'll get to teach more often.

The rest of the day I spent trying to nap -- unsuccessfully -- and trying to put all my contacts back into my phone.  I just realized that I forgot Billy, Jason, and James.  I didn't keep my texts from them, so I forgot they were in my contacts.  I wonder who else I forgot...  I do know I'm missing some businesses and all my Skipcha peeps.

I've learned to back up my phone to my computer BEFORE I update it.  Plus, I learned that I need to back up everything on it, not just some stuff.

Tomorrow my dad will be gone for 8-10 hours doing his re-certification for his CHL or whatever the correct terms are.  I'll be all on my own and kinda bored.  Hopefully, I'll get to chat with Ty some.  Today we didn't get to chat much.  Though he did say that his paternal great grandmother passed away, which is sad.  What's even more sad is that his grandparents don't fully understand that his inability to come home is beyond his control.  If he could come home for family events, he'd have been here for Eisley's birth.  He would be here for the funeral.  He would be here for my surgery.  However, he can't and it's not up to him.

I get so mad when anyone makes him feel bad or, in this case, worse.  I want to protect him.  He's not used to disappointment or sadness and I want to shield him from that.  I want to tell people to back off or use their noggins.  I don't care the circumstances -- don't make Tyler feel bad!  I told him that it's beyond him and what's important is that he knows he'd be there if he could.

I think we are going to need to start a funeral fund.
My family feels that honoring memories and being sad is enough.  We strongly believe that unless you are in close proximity, or it's an immediate family member, then you shouldn't worry about going to the funeral.
Tyler's family does not feel that way.  They give the impression (to me) that you need to go to the funeral of anyone to whom you are related.  It makes it harder when family members procreate young and have many children.  A huge family means there are a lot of people to die and unfortunately, they all live in Colorado.  That's not close.  Driving would be costly and flying is obviously costly.  Assuming the cost of airfare continues to rise, we should estimate $200-400 per trip on average.  That could rival the cost of Eisley's college when added up.

It's not to say that family isn't important or that death isn't terribly sad and heartbreaking.  However, it is something I'll have to remember to discuss with Tyler next year.  There must be compromise.  We can't afford to have all three of us go to Colorado yearly, on top of hunting, and trips to visit family.  We will have to sit down and literally write out our budget and how much we spend and how much we -- he -- make(s).

Luckily, I have lots of time to figure out how to word it all because I don't want to make him defensive by just saying what's on my mind.  I just have to decide how to say it, remember to talk about it, and decide when is the right time... How long after deployment do I wait and what other obstacles do I need to consider?

Day 131: Irritable

Eisley has been fussy all day.  Perhaps it was the peanut butter I ate?  I haven't had PB in a while because I thought it may have been affecting her.  She also would lay on her right side to nurse this evening.  I had to finally just keep her on her left, but pull her back where her legs were almost behind me.

I just want her to go to sleep. I am so exhausted.  I didn't get a chance to nap today because she didn't nap longer than 30 minutes for most of the day.

Not only is Eis irritable, but I was too, when I learned that the brigade is selling an ornament that we HAVE TO buy.  I don't think it's appropriate that we are forced to buy stuff.  If we are not and Tyler thinks it matters, then he's nuts.  I guarantee that the Colonel is not thinking, "Did Tyler buy all the crap we sold?" when writing his OER.  And if the theory is "setting the example" for the guys, then that's BS, too.  If he wanted to set the example, he'd get sleep and eat healthy, which are the KEY to being safe.  Skipping meals and relying on caffeine or not sleeping enough and trying to do everything on a never-ending list are things with which he may be setting the example.  However, I don't know. That's just the impression I get.

I spent a lot of time writing to my MIL about some HAP paperwork.  I have no clue as to how to complete it.  She went to some meeting about it, so I'm hoping she can help.  I was going to call, but I just don't have consecutive minutes in which to do things like that.

I got a call back from my thyroid doctor's nurse and she said I have to go see him next Wednesday for another follow-up and we'd schedule the surgery then.  I told my dad and he was pissed.  He was already in a bad mood (about what, I'm not sure -- it's a hard life playing golf all day) and said that we shouldn't have to go and he's a crook and just wants more money.  I told him I'd call back again tomorrow and ask what the appointment is regarding and decided if it's necessary or not.  However, I don't really care because it's not like I have to pay the guy, though I do have to pay for gas and spend the time going up and back.

I didn't have much time to get my Zumba routines ready for tomorrow.  Eis was such a handful and when she wasn't, I was doing paperwork.  I totally forgot until now that I don't have my warm-up ready. Ugh.  I'm so tired... I just want to go to sleep, but now I have to do that.

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I keep thinking about happy hour with Allison,  Elizabeth, and Rachel.  Rachel lives in CO, so I don't expect to see her -- she was the one that invited me to happy hour, granted I didn't see Allison or Elizabeth.  However, happy hour was fun, despite my feeling out of the loop.  Elizabeth said I would have to start coming to their happy hours.  I said that I'd love to, which is true, not only because I like them, but because I enjoy getting out of the house on occasion.

What I keep thinking about is that I don't know if she said it to be nice or if she genuinely meant it.  I know I'm socially awkward, but I think I'm better now than I was.  I don't know if they just don't like me or what.  I want to ask, but no one ever gives me a straight answer.  Apparently it's hard to tell someone the truth when they ask such a difficult question.

I'll tell you something, though... it's not an easy question to ask!  It's actually an incredibly hard question to ask someone for obvious fear of the answer.  I don't want to ask them if they don't like me.  I just want to be included.

I like them both, despite their actions in high school.  Maybe they didn't realize what they were doing.  I don't know...

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Eisley is slowly killing me.  It won't matter when Ty comes home cause I think I may be a goner by then.  There's something like 150 days just until R&R -- how crap is that?!  I officially do nothing with my life but wait for it to go by.  Lame.
For someone who hates to be told what to do, I sure do a lot of listening and following orders.  I know, I know... don't just sit around; you can go do stuff; no one said you have to wait.  But I do.  I have to sit and wait even more now that I have a child.

Before I didn't want to do things because I wanted to do them with Tyler.  However, when he's home, he's busy and when he does take time off, it's to go hunting.  Now, I still want to do things with Ty, but even if he were here and did take time off and it weren't to hunt, we don't have the money or the ability because of the baby.

I don't understand the desire to go hunting... it's essentially what he's doing this entire year.  Hunting.  However, he gets to do it in his favorite mode of transportation and he doesn't need a specific tag for what he's hunting.  Now, he doesn't get to hunt with his dad and grandpa, but it's still a part of his "other" life.  It's like he has an entire life separate from me: work, friends, and hobbies.  I get to see his friends, but in a different way than he does.  I, however, do not get to see into his work or hobby life... just the occasional picture or story he might tell me and then I think how strange it is that I'm separated from those things.

Oh well.  I'm sleepy.  I'm irritable.  My back hurts.  Boohoo.  Poor me.  Blah blah blah.

Day 130: Productivity

I will say it was torture getting Eisley to sleep last night -- she's always so fussy after I have broccoli.  You'd think I'd remember not to eat it.  I will now though, since my mom wrote a note and put it on the pantry door.

I didn't have quite as hard of a time getting to sleep as I did the night before.  Though after the 0400 feeding, I did have a very strange dream.  I don't know where I was, but it was fairly Italian-esque and I was driving along small, winding roads.  Then, somehow, I was in some room with some guy; he was extremely attractive -- that, I do remember.  Apparently, we were stuck in there for a while and he kept hitting on me, despite his having a girlfriend and my obvious married status.  He tried getting naked, but I said, "Look, obviously you know you're pretty, but I'm not interested."

I don't remember much of the dream except the hot guy and my not cheating.  I'm incredibly faithful... so much so that I don't even cheat in dreams!  I was weirded out, though, when I woke up and all the way into Zumba.  Why was I dreaming about some dude -- I think I made him up, as he wasn't familiar (even in the seen-him-on-tv-or-in-a-magazine sense) -- and why was he hitting on me so hard?  Perhaps, I was more stoked about fitting into my old jeans than I realized.   However, I know that I still have very far to go.  Fourteen pounds -- I think that's one stone -- and I should be back to normal.  A stone is either 12 or 14 pounds... I can't remember and I don't have time to look it up; Eisley will be up any minute probably.

She has proven incredibly hard to put down tonight and I didn't have broccoli or anything that may upset her tummy.  She just got way too tired because she wouldn't nap this evening.

Anyway, Zumba was lots of fun.  Still the same routines, but I can do it without paying attention now.  I'm excited to teach on Friday.  I'm trying to pick routines that will make them sore, but aren't too difficult.  I want them to feel that I'm a good teacher, but not be frustrated that my moves are too difficult -- they will be learning ALL new routines.

After I got home, I showered, then Dad left to take the big Lexus somewhere, I nursed Eis, then we both took a nap.  I could tell she was tired (thank goodness) and I was pretty pooped, too.  I think we slept close to two hours.

Oh wait, no.  Before our nap, Eisley took an explosive poop.  I can't forget that part of our day!  She had just finished nursing and I sat her up on the Boppy and had her leaning against me when she pooped.  I could vaguely feel the vibrations, but that's fairly normal.  After a couple minutes, to make sure she was all done, I got up and walked to the change table.  I saw a wet spot on her back when I approached the mirror.  It was at that point that I knew we were in for a big mess.

I, miraculously, didn't have anything on my shirt -- she'd already spit up on me during our 0400 feeding. I unsnapped her onesie and saw all the poop on the inside.  I very carefully removed it without getting it all over the rest of her back or on her head.  Then I wiped her off with the diaper on, folded the diaper cloth (that she lays on) over, and opened her diaper.  I used two more wipes to clean her up and folded the diaper cloth over again.  I was able to finally put a new diaper on her, then used one more wipe to clean her back again and make sure none got on her feet (she's very wriggley).  The onesie and diaper cloth were immediately thrown in the wash.

It wasn't until after the nap that I noticed the Boppy cover and a burp rag had gotten poo-wet on them, too.  I gathered a bunch of our laundry and cleaned it all up.

After our nap, I decided that we should try to do a couple laps down the street and back to get Eis out of the house and take Puck for a walk.  Dad got home as I was heading out to the garage.  He had bought himself new golf shoes and a new golf bag for his birthday.  He said, "I bought my birthday present from you and mom."  Yay!  Now we don't have to worry -- he's impossible to shop for on any gift-giving occasion.

I put Eis in the stroller as he moved his clubs from the old bag to the new and we set off down the street. At the end of our road, I got a call from Daniela about cheerleading and that helped me finish one loop without thinking much.  However, Puck was driving me nuts because he was pulling so much.  Then, I got a text from Ty and was sweating, so I decided to call it quits after the second loop.  My dad was surprised I was done so fast.  I told him, "Ty is 'home' and I'm sweating and don't want to be, not to mention, Puck is driving me nuts."

The rest of the afternoon passed without event.  I made some strange chicken recipe for dinner that my mom set out.  It wasn't terrible, but it could have been better.  I watched a couple shows, then I started putting Eis down at 2100.  It only took two hours for her to fall asleep.  Two hours and a lot of screaming. :(

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Ah, the other part of my day that made me productive.  I updated my iPhone. It now has OS 5 or something -- it took an hour to update, but it's pretty cool now.  I called Dr. P's office and told them they need to submit my referral for PT to Tricare, then I called Dr. L's nurse and asked if I needed to talk to him or if I could just schedule my surgery.  Unfortunately, I missed Dr P's PA call back and telling me that the referral is good for any PT location and I could submit it, myself.  Needless to say, I called back and left a message saying, "That's fine about the location, but until it's submitted, it's not good anywhere.  You need to submit it, not me.  Thanks."

Lazy bums.  It's your job and it's not like I have time to wait around on the phone, nor do I want to waste time calling Tricare and then them tell me to call Dr. P's office to have them submit it, anyway!  Plus, I don't have a fax machine because I'm not a business, school, or other service.

Well, Eis is down, so I best sleep while I can.

Day 129: Shopping Spree

I slept fairly well last night.  Of course, it wasn't long, but it was enough to feel rested.  I went to Zumba and did the same ol' routines.  I know she's busy, but I really wish Sabrina would change things up.  I suppose I'm exaggerating... she did change things up; she had a new warm-up and cool down.  However, I would like to see different routines and would like fewer routines with such a Jazzercise-y feel.

Mo was here when I got home.  She has been wanting to see the baby for a while, so my mom invited her over.  It was nice that Eisley was occupied while I showered.  However, it was too soon before I had her back and was feeding her.

I had about 20 minutes before my mom said we needed to get a move on and get started with our errands.  I had to dig through all my boxes and bags to find clothes that were more weather appropriate.  I found all my jeans and grabbed three pair that are size 6.  I also grabbed a couple t-shirts and found all my sweaters.  Good news is that I can squeeze into my old clothes (just the size 6 ones... I'm not even daring to touch the 4s), however "squeeze" is the main word.  Although I was physically in them, they did not look great.  Not only do I need them to look great, but I need them to be a bit loose, so I'll know I can fit in my 4s.  Anyway, we went to Starbucks first, since I was starving.  I had a soy frapp and we split a breakfast sandwich.  Then we went to Buy Buy Baby.

I changed Eisley once we got inside and my mom returned the umbrella stroller.  We had to look for pants, since it's getting cooler and Eisley needs something to cover her leggies.  We found a couple things at Buy Buy Baby, including new jammies, a winter hat, and the Kickin' Coaster (which will replace the stroller).

Next, we headed to Babies R Us because BBB didn't have enough of a clothing selection.  We had to change Eisley when we got to BRU and then we searched for pants.  They had a slightly larger selection, but it was fairly expensive.  I ended up spending $85 -- yikes!  We got seven pair of pants and two onesies.

We threw all the stuff into the trunk and walked to PetsMart to return some breath/teeth stuff I'd bought for Puck.  Luckily, that was a quick trip.  However, we did slow down to check out the puppies up for adoption outside the entrance.  I always feel so bad for them, but at least they're not out in 100º+ heat now.  They didn't have a good enough set-up to be having those dogs in the heat all summer... Regardless, I was not allowed to adopt one... at any point.

I ran my mom by SAMs to return a couple things and buy diapers, since I wasn't sure if she'd be in town when I ran out from this last purchase -- better safe than sorry.  I stayed in the car with Eis and changed yet another diaper and gave her a bit of her bottle.  She was incredibly fussy, since she was so tired by this point.  Once mom finished, we went to Target so I could see if they had any other boots and to pick up a couple items that mom had forgotten to buy at SAMs.

They didn't have any other boots that were the next size up -- just NB booties -- but I did peruse their clothing selection and decided that Target is where we need to shop.  Not only do they have totally cute stuff, but it's priced much more reasonably.  I grabbed some leg warmers and a pair of leggings on my way to the household cleaners.  Once I got back to the car, I showed my mom some clothes and prices (I took pics with my phone) and she said she'd take back anything we bought today from BBB or BRU that I didn't want/need.

Tonight, Eisley did a fashion show from Grandma and Grandpa.  She is totally adorable and could definitely be a baby model.  I can't wait to dress her up and take pics for her daddy to see.

Day 128: Fall Weather

I slept with the door open all night.  It was raining and cool, so it felt amazing.  Eis had a few good stretches of sleep.  At one point this morning around 0900 or so, I heard her waking up, so I came in and checked my timer.  She'd not been asleep even an hour, so I turned the swing on and laid on the daybed for a minute.  As she wriggled around, I heard her poop.  I knew she would sleep another couple hours after that, so I went back to my room to finish sleeping.

Mom had to go to San Antonio today to pick Dad up from the airport.  He wasn't able to get a flight to Austin today after taking Grammie home.  I stayed here with Eisley and caught up on some shows.  After a bit, I decided to catch up on some Zumba.  I needed a refresher with a number of the routines.

I tried the tv in the nursery, but the dvd player wasn't hooked up.  I decided it would be better to do in my room, anyhow.  I not only had the ability to play the dvds, but I had room to move.  I left Eisley napping and went to my room.  It wasn't long before she was awake.  I changed her, then brought her to my room to nurse.  I laid on the bed and let her nurse while I watched a couple routines.  It wasn't long before I realized she'd peed, however, she peed a bit on my bed, too.  Apparently, I didn't get the diaper tight or straight enough when I changed her last.  Oop!

After she finished eating and being changed, I propped her up on a pillow and she watched me while I practiced a few routines.  Occasionally, I'd pick her up and hold her while I'd do the feet.  She smiled, laughed, and wriggled a lot while watching me -- I'm fairly confident that she enjoyed it.  Eventually, my folks came home and I passed her off to them so I could shower.

We went to dinner at the Melting Pot, since I'd bought a Groupon.  There wasn't a changing table in the bathroom, so I had to change her on the floor of the handicapped stall.  It was mildly difficult.  The other problem was that halfway through dinner, she got really tired and wanted to sleep, which means she started to cry.  Now, there was a table right next to us with a whiny child, but my dad was... embarrassed ? stressed? irritated? that Eisley was crying in a restaurant.  I don't know what emotion he had cause they all come out as anger.  However, I took her and went outside.

I was so incredibly pissed that he would be such an ass.  She cried for maybe 20 seconds before I took her outside.  That's not enough for anyone to get upset. It's not like we're not doing anything to make her stop.  I decided that I will not be going out to eat anymore because he made me so mad.  My mom kept wanting to help, but I told her to stay in her seat.  I wasn't going to be outside with the baby having Mom hovering, wanting to help, and dad getting irritated that he's alone, inside.  I knew she was tired, but I had to wait until she fell asleep before I could go back inside.

Eventually, my dad came out and said he'd take her and to go inside.  I told him that she was tired and just needed to go to sleep.  He took her and I went inside.  I told my mom that I wouldn't be going out to eat with them anymore. She said, "I told him you'd say that."

Even with the Groupon, dinner was still pricey.  As much as I love fondu, I see why it's important to know how to make it yourself.  It's just too much money to go out and it could be just as good, if not better at home.  I'll have to try to make it on my own to see if that's something that could work for when Ty is home on R&R.  He likes cheese and I'm sure he'd like the chocolate fondu...

Tomorrow is more Zumba.  Plus, we'll take back the umbrella stroller, buy the kickin' coaster, and a couple pairs of pants for Eisley... at least that's the plan.

Day 127: Buy Buy Baby

I decided we should return the umbrella stroller that Grammie got me.  It's really nice, which is partially the problem.  I am worried that it would be more convenient to use it than my jogging stroller and I'd take it more often cause it's lighter weight, too. 

We stopped by Buy Buy Baby to see what else we could get.  We're thinking about exchanging it for a Kickin' Coaster, which will help exercise Eisley.  It's only $80, too.  However, after we purchased a couple other things, Eis and I went to the car and mom went back inside to get 20% off the stroller.  Dumb, I know.  She got back to the car and I said, "So you got 20% off the stroller that we're going to return and exchange for something that's $80?  Why didn't you wait until we did the exchange because we now, essentially, have less money!"  She was like, "Oh!"

We were deciding whether or not to go to Melting Pot, but they didn't have a reservation that could easily accommodate us with time to take care of the baby.  We decided to go to Mama Fu's.  My mom and I really like that place now.  We've gone there twice recently.  

We bought a couple onesies at Buy Buy Baby that are cute, but today I realized that I don't have any bottoms to go with them!  I need bottoms because they're onesies with long sleeves and look weird without bottoms.  

However, there was one with helicopters on it, so, naturally, I had to buy it.  

Day 126: Sleep

I was shocked when Eisley slept for two consecutive four hour stretches.  She didn't wake up before my alarm went off, either!  It was amazing.  I was still, however, tired -- go figure.

Zumba was great this morning.  I was a bit late and a bit clumsy in my ability to follow, but it still felt nice to work out.  I am tired of doing the same routines over and over -- I can't wait to teach -- and I have a terrible time doing one of my favorite songs, but different moves than the ones I use.  I find I can barely move correctly when it comes on!

Grammie, mom, Eis and I went to run a couple errands and be out of the house for a bit while the maids were here, today.  We went to Schlotzsky's for lunch.  It was good.  I do like that place, but haven't really been since going with Ty and it not being good.  I think the problem was that particular location, not the entire chain.

We also went to Buy Buy Baby.  Grammie bought Eisley a super soft and fluffy sheep that is like a "pillow pet," but a better brand.  She also bought her a Singamajig, which is a really cute little toy that makes noise.  Finally, she bought her an umbrella stroller, but not the $20 kind.  She bought her a nice $80 one!  It's really nice.  It'll do great for when we travel or need to pack lighter.

When we got home, I nursed Eis, then gave her to the old folks and passed out for two hours.  The rest of the night went pretty smooth.  Grammie leaves tomorrow, which is sad.  I'll have to go out there with Eisley... oh wait, we'll probably be going there for Christmas, though I hate to board Puck.  Plus, there won't be room for all of us.  It's hard enough sleeping on the couch, but there will be no way I can make it to where everyone won't hear Eisley cry in the middle of the night!  I guess we'll have much to discuss before Christmas comes.

I didn't get a chance to really chat with Ty today.  He got back from mission and on the computer when I was busiest and it just wasn't working to try to do everything I needed to do and text him.  My hands were full with the baby or driving or shopping.  I felt bad that I couldn't talk to him, especially if he's getting sick like he thinks he may be.  I hope he can take some meds and feel better and hopefully he'll get to sleep in, which would be beneficial.

He needs sleep, good food, and to take it easy for a couple days.  Ha... like that'll happen.

Day 125: Workin Momma

I got to do Zumba today.  There were only six of us, including the instructor, but it was still nice.  I am getting used to the same routines.  She doesn't really change up the routines much.  It will be a big surprise when I teach because everything will be new.  Even with the songs we use that are the same, we have different routines, but I think they'll be fine.

Dad golfed today and Mom worked, so I was with Eisley and Grammie all day.  It would have been easier if it were just me and Eis because I could have napped.  However, Grammie wanted to hold Eisley, which was fine, but it meant I couldn't nap.

I made dinner tonight again: parmesan crusted chicken, skillet potatoes, and baby carrots. It was delicious. I am a great cook.

I have decided we need to give Eisley at least one bottle a day because she's not taking kindly to them and both during my surgery and when Ty is home (for certain), she will not be able to eat unless it's from a bottle.  Well, she'll be able to breastfeed when Ty is here, but he'll want to feed her and I'll want him to be able to do so.

Tonight's been painful.  She's cried hard every time I try to give her the bottle, so I'll have to keep trying and let you know how it goes.  It would work better if someone else would give her the bottle, but they can't deal with the crying.  My next try is to give her the bottle in another position, so she doesn't get upset at being in the breastfeeding position, but not getting any boob.

I did upload pics to flickr and the video of Eis getting her two month shots.

Day 124: Puck's Day

I was supposed to go to Zumba this morning, but it didn't happen.  Eis took forever to fall asleep last night. I began trying to put her down at 2015 and she didn't go to sleep until midnight.  She did sleep until 0500, which was good.  I got her back down at 0530, but I couldn't get to sleep until 0630!  That meant I only had 45 minutes until I had to be up again to get ready to go.

There was no was I was going to be able to do that, so I decided that I'd push Eisley in the stroller around the street today, instead.

... That didn't happen either.

Eis woke up a couple times around 0730 and 0920, but I got her to sleep until 1120, so I got to sleep until 1120.  After nursing her and changing a few diapers, I came out into the kitchen and she "played" with Grammie and Dad.

Before I knew it, Ty was texting me!  We chatted about the Spur Ride that the guys are doing tomorrow.  I asked what that was and he said:

* 6 mile ruck march with 30lb pack and weapon in full uniform and body armor
* Events start at halfway point
* Event 1 - Tire flip. HEMMIT tire (200lbs), LMTV tire (100lbs), HMMV tire w/ rims (75lbs)
* Event 2 - HMMV Push: Uparmored HMMV for 100 yards
* Event 3 - Sandbag Toss: 50x 20lb sandbags from person to person to other side of the road
* Event 4 - 9 Line Medevac: Call in a medical helicopter using proper format to Army standard, then drag a 250lb person 100 yards on a medical skid
* Event 5 - Carry a 300lb German dude on a litter for 300 yards
* Event 6 - Reaction course: puzzle using wood plank and boxes to move people from one side of the road to the other
* Event 7 - Disassemble M9 and M4, then reassemble and shoot best 20 rounds at targets
* Then finish the rest of the road march

He said he did the course two days ago to validate it.  That and the fact that he's a commander and on his third deployment makes him a Senior Spur Holder.

Luckily, he had to be up early, so I got to squeeze in a shower before I took Puck to the vet.  I stopped by Starbucks on the way because I was craving a pumpkin spice frapp.  Once we got to PetsMart, we were there for an HOUR!  I had to wait for the blood they drew from Puck to clot so they could run the tests.  I stopped by HEB on the way home to grab groceries for dinner.

I made BBQ Beef for Grammie, which she loved!  Then I made a low calorie warm chocolate pudding for dessert (from scratch).  It was quite a delicious meal!

I am going to try to make it to Zumba tomorrow.  There's a 0940 class, so I'd be home in time for dad to leave to play golf.

Day 123: Happy Hour

Eis went to bed at 2100-ish last night -- tonight, too -- and slept for four-ish hours. However, the rest of the night was 1-2.5 hour stretches, so that sucked.

This morning, I made an appointment to take Puck in to have blood-work done to get more thyroid meds.  I'm not looking forward to that bill, tomorrow.  The appointment is for 1400.  Dad will be home and thus, babysitting.

Today went quickly.  I met Allison, Elizabeth, and Rachel at Chuy's for happy hour.  I was a few minutes late because Dad thought I was taking Eis and was therefore not available to take her when I was ready to leave, plus traffic was terrible.

It was fun to hang out with them.  It was strange, too.  They hung out all the time in high school and a bit in college, though they all went to different colleges: Elizabeth - SMU, Rachel - UT, Allison A&M.  However, they were best friends in high school, so they have a lot of memories together.  We were all on Hyline together, but as I didn't get invited along, I was not a part of their memories and jokes.

I realized that I ended up listening to most of the conversation and contributing when I could, but overall it was nice.  They are all beautiful girls.  I went to high school with stunning girls.  It was intimidating.  It seemed like everyone was beautiful... unless they were hideous.  I, personally, felt ignorable. I didn't consider myself beautiful, nor did I think I was even close to hideous.

We talked about Rachel's boyfriends -- turns out she dated a lot of guys in high school -- and we talked about guys that dated a lot of the girls we knew.  Allison said she had a bad Prom date one year, so I was able to outdo her with my Prom dates for both junior and senior year being pretty bad, not to mention that I asked them.  I said, "Not only were my dates bad, but I had to ask them, and I didn't get asked to a single dance the entire time we were in high school!"

Allison looked at me and said, "Yeah, but you were intimidating."  To which Elizabeth and Rachel chimed in, "Yeah, very intimidating."

Whaaaaat?!

I wanted to pause the conversation and ask a million questions, but it breezed ahead leaving me in the lurch.  How was I intimidating? Why? Who thought that? Is that why I had no friends? But why would that make people not want to hang out with me if I asked them and made the effort?  I don't understand!

I remember being told the same thing in college.  I didn't understand it then, either.

Related, but separate... I remember walking around Dublin, Ireland with Lindsay, Joanna, and Kristin and suddenly they stopped and Joanna looked at me and said, "Turn that shit off!"  Surprised, I said, "What?"  She said, "You're doing something to the guys who walk past and I don't want them following us!"  I replied, "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm certainly not doing anything on purpose!"

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On another note... I don't know why I like Body Central -- not all the time, but on occasion.  However, this skirt is just cute... I don't know if I like it in black better or not, though.
I also get catalogues to Boston Proper.  Luckily, I don't like most of their stuff because it's expensive.  I'm also lucky that I'm fat and unemployed right now or I'd be tempted to buy things.  This dress is cute, but I won't be skinny enough to wear it this year (thank goodness).  And if this dress were in a store, I'd definitely try it on because it looks neat, but I'm not sure how it'd actually fit.

Day 122: Doctor

I did another Zumba class this morning.  It is definitely strange to take classes, instead of teach them.  It also sucks that I'll be at home and not feel huge and disgusting, but when I get to Zumba, I do.  Not only is it because it's harder to move, but because Sabrina, the instructor, is tiiiiiiny.  She's probably a size zero.  So, I feel massive compared to her.

I also feel huge when I try anything on that I wore before I was preggo.  I think I'll feel somewhat like I'm making progress when I'm below 140.  It's strange to think that my senior year of college I started out at about this weight.  I eventually got it off, obviously, since I was 128 when I got preggo.

I was 145 or 146 at the doctor today.  I can't quite remember. I do remember that Eis is now 10 pounds and 15 ounces and 22.5 inches long.  She's gained a little over four pounds in the past two months.  I've lost almost 20.

Back to Zumba... I am not sure why, but I am blindingly pale.  Far paler than I ever thought I was, but maybe I just didn't see it.  I am definitely the palest in the class.  It's truly unfortunate that pale skin looks fatter than tan skin.  It's almost worth getting a spray tan just to feel mildly less disgusting.

Anyway, the doctor said Eis is looking good and everything is on track.  She got three shots and an oral immunization today.  I recorded it on my Flip.  I didn't record the actual shots, just Eisley's face.  It was so sad.  My mom was heartbroken and when I showed my dad the video he said, "It makes you just want to cry."  Bless her heart, she was almost asleep and the nurse stuck her in her left thigh and Eisley just screamed and started crying pretty hard.  Then she was given the oral immu, then the nurse went on the other side and gave her two injections in a row in the left thigh.  Eis was so upset -- almost as upset as my mom.

It's a pretty pitiful video.

We were told that a small amount of Tylenol (for kids) would help if she got a fever or anything.  We stopped by HEB on the way home and my mom grabbed some meds.  I gave her a bit when we got home just to help Eis to not feel so bad.  She did alright the rest of the night, but was slightly more temperamental.

After she nursed, I put her in the swing (which had dead batteries) and I laid on the floor and pushed it with my hand.  She was tired, but wouldn't fall asleep.  Meanwhile, I was exhausted.  I eventually got on the bed in the nursery, so Eis could see me and I dozed a bit.  At some point Eis fell asleep and I woke up when I heard my dad putting new batteries in the swing.  I got up and stumbled to my room and said, "I have to lay down for a bit."  I slept for an hour and a half or so.

Eventually, I got to eat dinner.  It was my first real meal of the day.  I had a NutriGrain bar before Zumba, a tiny bowl of oatmeal after Zumba, a granola bar at the doctor's office, a frapp after the doctor's, then pork, corn, and potatoes for dinner.  It was nice to eat.

Day 121: Two Months

Eisley was two months old today.  My, how time flies.  We took her picture next to Big Bird.  I do need to print some more pics to work on the baby book further.

Last night Eis fell asleep at around 2300.  I went to bed shortly after.  I woke up a bit later and was surprised that I didn't hear Eisley crying and that it was 0400.  She'd slept five hours!  She was also still asleep.  I considered letting her sleep, but my left boob was so engorged that it had soaked the breast pad in my sleep bra and was still leaking.

I decided to pump a little before I woke her up.  I pumped two ounces and it was still hard as a rock, but had stopped leaking, at least.  Finally, I decided to wake her up.  She didn't need to be changed, so we proceeded with snack-time.  After eight minutes, she was done and sleepy again.  I put her in the sleeper, but she fidgeted too much and wouldn't sleep.  By now, she needed a new diaper.  I changed her, nursed her for another couple minutes and she fell asleep again.  She seemed to want to stretch out, so I put her in the crib and she stayed asleep.

I pumped my left side more and ended up with about four ounces.  I poured it into a freezer bag and went to sleep.  Unfortunately, Eis only slept an hour and a half, then an hour during her next two sleep sessions.  So, we started our day a bit earlier than preferable.

In the afternoon, my parents wanted to go for a "drive." I asked where, but they said, "Just a drive."  I thought that sounded awful, especially considering I would be in the backseat in the middle.  Plus, their timing was off with Eis.  She was about to wake up and want to nurse and thus need to be changed about 3 times in fairly rapid succession, which was not particularly conducive to a car ride.

Eventually, when they got back, I was told that we would not be having steak for dinner, but I could have a Lean Cuisine because they'd eaten DQ Blizzards and would probably have a sandwich or snack, if anything at all.  I was a bit taken aback.  No steak and no Blizzard?  What was this?  To top it off, the only Lean Cuisine in the freezer was macaroni with beef.  Exciting... :(

I spent my evening making a birth announcement for Eis.  Yes, I know, it's rather late.  However, there was a Groupon for Mixbook, so I checked it out and liked what I saw.  I originally made one from their ... oh, man... what is that word... model?  It's not "model," but it's something like that.  They have a thingy and I just input my text and drop in my pics and I don't have to think.  Then, I decided I could probably make one just as good, if not better, that wouldn't be so same-same.  I will say that mine is better and it is the one we will be purchasing.

I spent a few minutes trying to take a pic of Ty and myself today.  At first, it was an attempt at a family pic, but Eis was just too fussy and didn't want to look at the camera, so it became a parent pic.

Day 120: 10 Years

This weekend is/was my high school 10 year reunion.  I'm not going to any of the main events.  Tonight is the big event.  For $50, I would be entered in a raffle, have appetizers of queso and chips, fajitas for dinner, then have until 2300 to chat with folks.

I read this post the other day and was reminded of what a different experience I had in high school.  While Allison had a great experience and tons of friends, I feel as though I survived and had very few friends.  I actually didn't have friends until my senior year and I had three.  I had plenty of acquaintances, like everyone I was on Hyline with and everyone I was a Teen Teacher with, but no "friends."  I think friend means someone you hang out with outside of school and with whom you want to spend time.  I definitely wanted to spend time with people, but the feeling was not reciprocated.

Freshman and sophomore year I spent days and hours calling people and making the effort to hang out with people.  I knew it could potentially be my fault for not having friends if I didn't put in the effort.  However, after two years of "no," I did give up.

I remember calling one girl, Elizabeth, and asking her to hang out.  She told me her mom was sick, so I said we could come get her and drop her off.  She told me she had to make rice for her mom, so I said we could come when she was done.  Then she said, "I have to make rice for her all day."  At that point, I realized that was her way of telling me no.  I cried for quite a while after I hung up because I couldn't believe someone would make up such a terrible excuse to not hang out with me.

Another time, I talked to a group of girls after finals and they were going out to eat lunch.  The twins' mom was coming to pick them up and I was excited because it appeared (to me) as though I'd been invited  to go with them.  However, when the mom showed up, the girls piled in the car, then shut the door and drove off.  Obviously, I was not in the car.  I was crushed, yet again.

I remember going from calling the people I thought were my friends, to calling people I had classes with, to calling people whose names I knew, trying to hang out with anyone.  I was persistent, but I had to give up because it was too distressing and my self-esteem just sunk lower and lower with each weekend and every phone call that gave me a "no."  I tried calling ahead and the day of, but nothing seemed to work.

I tried not to think about it and pretended that I was friends with all the girls on my drill team, which worked while we were together, but as soon as the game, camp, class, or competition was over, they would all go out in groups and I would go home alone.  I liked the girls on my dance team, but I didn't understand why they didn't want to hang out with me.

Due to my experience, I understand why I didn't keep in touch with anyone from high school... in the way that we would hang out or see each other.  We are FB friends, but that seems to be the extent of our HS friendship as well -- friends in name, but not in reality.

When the reunion word started coming around, I wasn't stoked to see everyone or not wanting to see people... I was fairly apathetic.  I did want to go to the Hyline brunch because those are the people I spent the most time with, though, as I said, we weren't friends.  However, I couldn't justify spending $50 to leave Eisley with my parents (for the second time in a day), getting two drink tickets, fajitas, and talking to people that weren't my friends ten years ago.

I figured each drink could be $10 at the most, and $20 for fajitas, then there's still $10 unaccounted for and that's with incredibly expensive drinks.  I, obviously, decided it wasn't worth the money or effort to look decent.  Plus, I figured that most people would be there with their spouses and that was just one more reason for me not to go.

-----------------------

The brunch today was fun and it was great to see the girls that showed up.  Only seven of the seventeen were there.  One of the girls was mildly obnoxious, but she always was, but it was nice to get to talk to anyone because I don't feel like I get to talk to people often nowadays.

I was invited out to a happy hour on Tuesday, which I plan to attend.  I'm not sure the other girl will want me there, but I am excited to get together with anyone and I truly adore Rachel.  I've known her since third grade and I've always liked her; she's always been nice to me, even if we didn't hang out together.

But I would have no friends forever if I could get Tyler back and have him never leave.