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It’s hard to believe it’s been two weeks since Tyler left. Hard to believe that he’s already as busy as he is, as well. Seems like last deployment they were in Kuwait forever, then it was at least a month before things “got going.”
I’m having a much more difficult time with this deployment. My mom says not to worry about Tyler – this is what he trains for. However, I don’t think I’m necessarily worried about him as much as I just miss him and absolutely hate everything when he’s not here.
I’m cranky and irritable and I cry every time I think about him, talk about him, see or hear his name… and I don’t like crying. I also look like absolute crap. My eyes are reddish and puffy constantly, though I don’t think allergies help that any. All I can say is that I hope this baby helps keep me occupied and happier.
I can’t remember what movie I watched earlier today… oh wait, it was called Camille. It starred James Franco and Sienna Miller. It was odd, but it was entertaining and cute. I would recommend it over Cop Out any day.
I spent 20 minutes skimming the pool and there was still so much in it cause the wind kept blowing and keeping it full of cedar bits and oak leaves. The grass is dying in the backyard here… I don’t know what to do. They have sprinklers set and are on water restrictions. It’s been 105 degrees – you can’t compete with the heat.
I just hope all is well with the house in Heights. I finished the video and uploaded it to youtube, but they muted all my audio because it is copyrighted. I put the artist and title of each piece of music in the video, but I guess that’s not enough. I’ll have to remove those parts, and just use youtube approved music. It just won’t have the feel that my video had. I just wish I’d not spent so much time on music!
I sent an email out to my and Ty’s parents about how things are going for him so far. I don’t think either set really understood what he’s doing. I know mine at least understand the difficulties of communication – due to last year and my complaining. My mom texted me today and said, “Thanks for the email about Ty. I can tell you’re pretty upset and I don’t blame you.” I appreciated her not trying to give me any advice.
You can tell someone not to worry and that things will be fine, but you can’t tell someone to not miss the person they care about above everyone else. You can’t tell someone to ignore the pain and heartache. You can’t even tell someone that they’ll get to see their love soon… because they won’t. Seven to eight months away is not soon. And I pray every night that I’ll see him for EML and that I’ll see him again when he redeploys home. I pray that he’ll be safe and come home in one piece. But most of all I pray for strength to make it through each day because that’s what he’d want me to do. I’ll have both Puck and Eisley to take care of soon enough and Ty won’t want to come home to a basket case.
I just hope his career takes him in a direction that doesn’t deploy anymore. As much as he loves it and doing what he does, I know that I cannot do another one. It won’t matter where I am or who I’m with – I will not be able to withstand another year away from him, especially when I barely got 12 months between last deployment and this one.
It seems as though I should get “cried out,” but I haven’t. It just seems to never end and it hurts just as bad every time I think about him.
50 more weeks…
350 more days…
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