Day 102: Sleep?

I don't understand why it has to take so damn long to get her to sleep?!

Every evening is the same, but there's no way to alter what is going on to cut out the stupid bits and make it all efficient.

She falls asleep on my dad while we're watching tv.  I bring her in and put her in her bassinet or crib.  I stare at her for a couple minutes to make sure she's asleep, but as soon as I walk away she's awake and crying.

or

I bring her back and slowly wake her along the way to cut out the wasted time of us pretending she's actually going to sleep at whatever time we come back to the nursery.

Regardless, she undoubtedly has a dirty diaper and must be changed, at which point I also put her in whatever she's going to sleep in for the night.  It's during this that she decides she's hungry and gives me 10 seconds to give her food.  As things don't happen that fast, she decides she's starving and must not have been fed in years and begins crying.

We go to the glider and I put the Boppy around me before setting her down (on the Boppy, of course).  I then have to reset the diaper timer, make sure my water is within reach, put a burp cloth on my arm (so her face doesn't rest on me), and undo my shirt -- all of which takes maybe 20 seconds tops.  This seems like years to her, so she's screaming about how hard life is and how she'll die of starvation before -- and then she's silent and nursing.

If she falls asleep while nursing, I can put her down -- she'll wake up within seconds -- or I can hold her for a bit, then put her down -- she'll wake up within seconds. Either way, she's up.

If she's tired, I let her cry for a bit, but if it doesn't stop, then I check her diaper.  She's dirty. I change it.

She's wide awake now.  I walk her and bounce her.  She dozes off and I put her down.  She wakes up because she's stretching and wriggling too much in her "sleep."

I pick her up and swaddle her arms.  Then I have to walk her and bounce her til she's sleepy again.  I put her down while she's awake, but tired, so she can fall asleep and I don't have to "wake" her when I put her down.

She wriggles and squirms and fusses.  I check her diaper, just to make sure... it's dirty.  I have to start all over again!

I can read. I can sing. I can nurse. I can swaddle. I can walk. I can bounce.

It does not matter!

She has to make me think she's ready for sleep a minimum of five times before she'll actually go to sleep.  And by that point, I'm paranoid that she's not really asleep!  Or she'll pee or poo and wake herself up.  I go and refill my water for when I'm back in the nursery in a couple hours.  I do a couple laps around the room and check on her again.

Is the lamb or giraffe making the heartbeat noise? Yes.
Is she adequately covered, but not so much that she'll get too hot and wake up? Yes... maybe...
Is she comfortable?  I think so... at least enough so for this round of sleep
Is anything going to get in the way of her breathing?  Not at the moment, but she moves a LOT while sleeping and likes to bury her face in things...
Is she really asleep?  I don't know.  I'll try getting in bed and sleeping.

Then I look at the clock and PRAY -- literally -- that she'll sleep AT LEAST three hours.  Three is ok.  Anything under it hurts miserably.

However, even if it's a three hour stretch from 0400 - 0700 -- the "whites" of my eyes will be so red it will look like I belong in 28 Days Later.

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Tomorrow, Dad and I have to go to Temple to see Dr. L for my thyroid check-up.  I have my previous blood tests and one from last Wednesday has been faxed to him.  I should get an ultrasound and a biopsy, if there's anything worthy of concern.  He'll determine if I need radioactive iodine or anything and then we'll swing by the house on the way home.

There have been fires at Union Grove... not the middle school.

I told my mom that if Ty and his BDE were here, they'd be sent every single day to do bambi bucket and fight any and all fires in the area. "In the area" being a loose term... I'd bet they'd be sent anywhere in TX to help.
But have I heard anything on the news about 4ID(?) helping to fight the fires? Have I heard anything about anyone from Fort Hood Army Post helping anywhere? No.  Are they helping? I'm not sure, but I would venture a big fat NO.  They are just as capable as Ty's BDE... I guess they're allowed to be with their families when "home."

Irritating.  Just like my vasovagal syncope rearing it's ugly head again -- though more ferociously.  Yikes.  I have to be real careful now, especially when I'm holding Eis.