I am in so much agony, I can barely see straight! I get to go to rehab tomorrow, but not until I teach Zumba :( It huts to breathe, sleep, be awake, and everything in between. I've stretched, pulled and pushed on my traps, and had my neck pop way too many times. I can't tell if it's my neck or my scapula because both are jacked. I am so miserable.
I talked to my mom about how Ty wants another kid. I told her about how I always knew something would happen if I were to get pregnant. I always joked that my legs would just fall off or something "stupid." How right I was. How stupid is cancer?! I mean, really. Who gets pregnant and gets cancer? Not only did I have to deal with that, but it destroyed my body. My joints are far less stable than they were before and it's causing plenty of problems.
I don't know how long it will be before I am stable and not going to the doctor multiple times a week. I also cannot imagine what would happen if I got pregnant again. I would undoubtedly drop dead after delivery, which would serve Tyler right. You want two kids? Ok, you got 'em, but you don't have me. Ha!
But for real... I am not the type of person that things don't happen to, so I don't want to imagine what would be in store for me a second time around. Would it be more cancer? More difficult cancer? What's worse than cancer? Maybe it would be that... Regardless, it is terrifying.
Today, we went to Target and bought a few things for Eisley and some hair stuff for me. It's nice that my hair finally stopped falling out in clumps. I was not excited at the prospect of Gollum-esque hair when Tyler got home
Originally, it would be about 15 days until I see Tyler and he meets our daughter. However, now it's 38 days. It doesn't seem real yet. I wonder what it would be like to see your husband throughout most of your marriage? My mom asked how long Ty and I have been married.
I said, "Iraq, home, Afghanistan. So, three years in April."
She said, "You've only been together for the one year, then?"
"Yes, though it wasn't a fully year if you count all the times he was gone," I said.
"You guys weren't really ready for a baby, were you?" she asked.
"Ha! Nope. Not at all."
However, we have one and she's a doozie.
I never heard back from the casting call thing we were asked to go to, so I can only assume they don't want us. We're too generic-cute, I bet. No ethnicity... lest you count our name, which doesn't matter in a photograph. Therefore, I have planned to go visit Martha from Wednesday to Sunday. I'll only miss Thursday, Friday, and Saturday Zumba, which sucks, but I'm trying to be nice to Martha.
I must try to go to sleep. I teach in the morning and if I don't get some respite from this pain, then I may just stab my trap with a knife in order to release the agony.
I uploaded a ton of videos to youtube. I'm trying to get all my videos off of my iPhone because my Cloud is almost full and I don't want to pay for more space. Search: jenruss6500. Click: channel, then videos. I have 41 at the mo.
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